It's June already? Seriously? It feels like we've missed a couple of months somewhere. This next week we'll need to fire up the air conditioner, though, so it really will seem like summer.
It seemed to me that May was going slowly for some reason, but in hindsight it really flew by like all the others! Well,except maybe for January, February & March - most of April too, as I recall!!
I saw my favourite physio yesterday, the one who has seen me through ankylosing spondylitis and a car accident, and she says I have another month to go before the pelvic fracture is completely healed. This means I should be able to get in some ocean swimming later this summer - our Japanese current-fed ocean is warm enough into September. In the meantime, I drive in the neighbourhood to the grocery store. Our public library has a good selection of DVD's. The latest TV series DVD that I really enjoyed was "The Boss" with Kelsey Grammer. On my way from the library to the grocery store, I had to use the crosswalk. Halfway across, I met a young toddler, about two years old, who was being pushed in his stroller by his mother. He took one look at me and a flash of recognition crossed his face, as if he were saying, "Oh, another kid on wheels." He held up his hand to salute me and smiled quickly. What empathy from one so young. Yesterday was my first day back to church in two months. It was good to see everyone again. My youngest son has returned to Nelson, but signs of his helpfulness are everywhere – he put up railings on the three back steps leading from the garden into the garage and railings inside the garage itself. So I can zip around quite safely. All in all, it was a good wakeup call. One thing I’ve learned is to slow down. My tendency – I see now – was to hurl myself at life. My mother used to say, “Mary, your eyes are bigger than your stomach.”
Mary75* --What a sweet picture of the little guy in the stroller and you as your paths crossed. So happy for you that you are out and about. Your son is a treasure for sure -- not all sons can or will be so helpful. Keep on "truckin!"
Summer already in Southern Tenn. predict storms later today with hail and wind. could sure use just some gentle all night rain -- but we don't get to order the weather.
Having read Charlotte's news and how it is for Mary to get around right now -in fact there are a number of members going through these things - it makes me wonder how I would cope with something else going wrong in my life. Not well I'm certain.
I can't speak to what opportunities we each might have as we go down the road. I hope there are some for all of us.
It' s June an we feel like we've known one another for years not just a few months. Can't stop feeling like my relationship with Ann is repayment for all the sacrifices made in the past. We're the functioning definition of "Live each day like....."
marty, very glad to hear that your new relationship is going well for both of you! After years of selfless, loving caregiving you deserve happiness...we all do! Enjoy.
LFl: This been a new found lifestyle, we went to my grandson's graduation in OH last week, this weekend my grand daughter's Bat Mitzvah in NY. Then back to OH in July for my grandson's Ealgle Scout ceremony. Plans are to visit with Ann's family, grandchildren & friends in Aug. Boston, The Cape and Bar Harbor, a welcome respite from Florida summer weather. After 7 years of having travel defined as and limited to trips to MD's,Hospitals and Publix's I feel like I'm done with the rusty "golden years"
My friend Carol died this afternoon. She was a caregiver spouse. Her husband was slightly farther along the Alzheimer journey than my DH. although it was hard to measure because his symptoms are not the same as my hubby's. Although the official cause of her death will likely say something like "from complications associated with cancer of the bile duct" I know that her husbands disease was partially responsible for her demise. Too proud to ask for support from social services or anyone other than her family (six children) she had not had a day of respite in a very long time. Her children were very good about looking after their Dad when she was not able, but when she recently began to suffer from her complications she finally convinced herself that she could no longer look after her DH alone, and had engaged some in home help. And although she didn't want to see her loved one in a home, she had determined that come September he would need to be placed. Well, she got her wish, she will not have to see her husband in a home. I just wish that she didn't have to lose her life in order for her to get her wish.
We were supportive of each other in our journeys, sharing a hug and some understanding conversation after church every Sunday. We even shared a hospital room when I had my surgery in the fall!
Bqd, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I know how much even those few minutes of understanding you two had each Sunday could mean to you. Only those in the trenches really know what we are going through. Again, I'm sorry for your loss.
So very sorry for your loss, Bqd. The special moments when someone truly understands are great memories you will have to last your lifetime. True friends are very special.
bdq, I too am sorry for your loss. Losing a good, understanding friend who understands what you're going through is very difficult. Sympathy and prayers to you.
Bad: so sorry to hear of your friend's death. Having someone you can share your difficulties with is such a blessing. I know, because I lost my best friend a year and a half ago and I miss her every single day. I can't even bring myself to go to her gravesite. When I'm having a bad day I even get a little angry and inside my head I'd ask, "Marilyn, why aren't you here? I need you." My condolences to you.
Bdq, what a sad story. My condolences -- in my whole life, very little has brought me as much happiness as a close girlfriend. I know she will be missed and I'm so sorry for your loss.
As for it being June, I do live in Southern California, so every day has been absolutely beautiful. Sharp blue skies, gentle breeze, temps in the high 70's ... and here's something that makes me happy every day. I planted milkweed in my garden last year. It is the only plant that monarch butterfly caterpillers eat so now my house is surrounded by the fluttering beauties. Watching them dance around lifts my spirits every time.
On the AD front, my husband is suddenly eager to ride his bicycle (for the first time in a decade). Oh dear. He looks for them on the street and says "Oh, I could ride that one!" I agree with him that it would be so much fun and that we're going to do it this weekend! Oh, boy! It makes him happy for that moment. Of course, it can't happen. I still have truthteller's guilt and hold my breath thinking he's going to be onto me one of these days. Hasn't happened yet :)
Thank you everyone for your condolences and kind words and understanding. I can't explain to anyone else why I am so upset at Carol's passing - they just don't understand the strength of the bond between care givers like the people here do. Hugs to you all!
Bunny's Lamb - I am so glad that you planted milkweed for the monarch butterflies. I watched a nature program a week or so ago that talked about the monarch and their migration. It takes 4 generations of monarchs to get from Mexico to Canada. One of the reasons given for having fewer monarchs is the destruction of milkweed in the US. The winter homes in trees in Mexico are also being threatened. We have lots of milkweed plants around here, and I look forward to the monarchs' visit every year, although it comes late in the summer and usually means our warm weather is not going to last much longer.
Those who love monarch butterflies might be interested in reading the novel by Barbara Kingsolver called “Flight Behavior.” I read about half of it but had to return it to the public library because when I was caring for my husband, I did not have enough time to read a whole book by the due date. (There was a waiting list so I could not renew it.) Now that my husband is in a LTC facility, I may put my name back on the waiting list and find out what happens in the second half of the story!
Hope all our Dh felt the love of their family today. My DH had a nice day. One Dd took him to hit some golf balls.
Then we spent the afternoon with daughters and their families. DH was confused about it being Father's Day But he did enjoy his family and some gifts. Made sure to take family pics. Sad to say, but who knows what next year will bring. Living in the moment today!
We had a very pleasant Father's Day. The weather was just perfect (not at the moment, though - nasty storms!), did chicken breasts & a steak for Dan on the grill. That man still enjoys a good steak, I must say! It was a weekend of out of the ordinary activity for us - son over to help with yard work, etc. Today Dan is very quiet, just sat on the porch all day (thank goodness for that porch!) - apparently the weekend wore him out.
Chatted with hb's niece today. His sister, age 64, is on comfort care now. She sleeps most of the time, doesn't eat, and is retaining fluids (sounds like kidneys shutting down to me). I have not told hb yet - don't know if I will. I found out from my neighbor that he talks often about his sister with her. He is well aware that she has Alzheimer's too. She was diagnosed in 2005, three years before him. She is 2 1/2 years younger. After I tell him I hope he forgets. His dad's death was so hard on him. We had to literally pry him off his dad's casket. I think a lot may have had to do with for the first time I can remember, the pastor referred to his dad as Arthur. My husband is a junior so it was like listening to his own funeral - was really eerie.
In our area the towns have what is called "Rib Fest" a large number if rib cookers come with their trailers and set up in a park and cook their best ribs. There are contests to judge the best and face painting for the little ones, or big ones, and entertainment. People come from all over to enjoy this festival of food. No Beavertails that I know of.
We celebrate " Canada Day" with lots of activities in the park then fireworks. One of the good things about living along the seaway is that we have our fireworks on the 1 st of July, then we can also sit on the river edge on watch the fireworks across the river in the 4th of July. Both put on a great show.
I'd like to watch the fireworks this year as Kevan refused to go the last few. He used to enjoy them so much. I hope to find someone to go with. I'll need to find somewhere to sit and a close parking spot because of my back but I think I'll try.
My host as are huge. All this rain has made my garden look like a rain forest.
Jazzy, I would go to see the fireworks with you if I could! I love watching things like that, but the last time we went on the 4th of July a few years ago, Dan seemed to be bothered by them. I couldn't understand why at the time, but I'm pretty sure the noise took him back to his Marine days & he didn't like it. We won't be doing that together anymore! One more thing gone.....
Yesterday was my wife's birthday. Our son and his new girlfriend joined DW and me for dinner. Shortly after we started eating DW started to get out of her chair. I tried to stop her, but then realized that this was how she indicated that she had to go to the bathroom. My son's girlfriend offered to help me, and I accepted. DW had a BM which I tried to clean up. What an introduction to the family for the new girlfriend!!!!
This is about as far off-topic as anyone could possibly be, without falling off the edge of the planet. But it struck me as funny.
Last night I was researching air travel. Haven't been on a plane in about 25 years, and things have really changed. Since I'll need handicapped accommodation now, I wanted to research that. I keep hearing that baggage fees have changed, too, and wow—fees have really gone up since the last century!
I finally checked the Emirates airline, out of curiosity, since my sister flew with them for years. Most of the fees were similar, until I got down to: "Pet flight fee: Same as additional bags fee, and not permitted in cabin (unless it is a falcon)". A falcon? Seriously? How would you like to sit next to a falcon on a 14-hour overseas flight? (My sister said that usually people with falcons fly in first class, so they have plenty of room.) I think I want to do a little more research—and read all the fine print—before I book a flight. There's no telling what other surprises there might be out there.
Centuries ago, the nomadic Bedouin tribes used falcons to hunt for them in the desert. Now, falconry is a popular sport among very wealthy Arabs. Falcons can sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars. (I learned this from reading a mystery, not because I’m a world traveler.)
Because my husband can no longer travel, I haven’t been on a plane in about 3 years, but I can tell you that flying is now a very unpleasant experience and that’s not even factoring in having a huge bird of prey focusing his beady eyes on you.
It is 85 outside. Hb has been wanting to walk since 2. We went for a walk this morning - I wanted to get it in before it got too hot. I told him if he didn't want to sit inside sit outside in the shade which at this time of day is behind the MH. He came in about 45 minutes ago to say he was going walking. I told him no cause it was still too hot out. He said there is a breeze so it is cooler. I told him 'fine go walking. Doesn't matter if it is frostbite or heat stroke, you don't care'. and honestly right now I don't care.
He made me so mad last night. I spent 1 1/2 hours making dinner, cleaning and cutting the veggies I had bought including about 4 pounds of potatoes that were going bad, and did the dishes up after dinner except for his plate cause he was not done yet. When he is, he just puts it in the sink and walks away. I lost it. I was hurting from standing so long and the least he could have done is wash his plate. I spent the night nursing a sore side, gas and 'swelly belly' from standing.
I have looked for chocolate the last half hour and all I can find is carrots and celery!!! :-(
Charlotte, I am sending you a hug (I promise it won't hurt your side any more than it already hurts!) And if I had any chocolate, I would send it to you!
I understand entirely what you are saying. My DH takes FOREVER to eat a meal. And most nights I might as well give him oatmeal, for all the interest he shows on what is on his plate or how long it took me to make. It is his job to do the dishes, but most nights he gets them half done - water in both sinks, water on the counter top, and then just walks away. And you know what? I leave them that way until morning, when I empty one of the sinks so I can make coffee, and he can start doing dishes all over again.
I lost it today when he offered to take the garbage out, because he wanted to help. He went outside to the garbage bin, and then to the basement entrance where we keep the garbage bags, came into the basement and left the garbage bag there on the floor, and went up to his room. The basement entrance doors were both left wide open. The garbage shed door was wide open. We live in the country with various critters in nearby woods. If I hadn't gone down to see what he had been up to, and then packed up the garbage and taken it out myself (which is what I had intended to do in the first place) we would have had squirrels, mice, chipmunks, raccoons and who knows what else in the basement and into the garbage.
We've had a cool breeze off the lake for the last couple of days. It keeps the bugs down so I have been able to work in the flower gardens. Pulling weeds and digging in the dirt is very therapeutic for me!
Today is the longest day. Wear purple today to promote Alzheimer's awareness. Turn FB purple. I did. I think everyday is the longest for caregivers. I could not wait for summer so DH could get outside, but these long days are about to do me in.
Charlotte, bless your heart- it was a rough day! I hide chocolate, if I didn't hide it, Dan would have it gone! Sometimes chocolate is the only thing that helps - it isn't bossy, it doesn't ask questions, it doesn't repeat itself, it just does it's job - pure pleasure & comfort! Can you tell I'm a chocoholic? :)
Yesterday my DH and I attended our son's college graduation ceremony. It was a second go round at education for our 33 yr old boy, and this time he did it on his own, working to support himself as he completed his schooling. It could not have been easy. He really wanted us there, and we wanted to be there as we are very proud of his accomplishments. I am very glad we went but it was very tiring. We had stayed overnight at our DD's in order to cut down on the driving yesterday, and to give us a bit later start in the morning. Well, that backfired as DH was up at 6:15 raring to go! So of course we got to the facility where the ceremonies were to be held in plenty of time to get great seats, and I was pleased that DH was able to sit still for almost 3 hours. After the ceremony we took DS out for lunch, and then headed home. The drive home was tiring as we got caught for a one hour delay in road construction. DH was exhausted - after we got home and he had a nap, it took him 45 minutes to get dressed, as he would get half done and then decide something wasn't right. He resists help in dressing. Today I am busy getting us both ready for my mini vacation - doing laundry to make sure that DH takes clean clothes to respite, and getting all the little tasks done that need to be done before I leave the house for 5 days. There is lots to do but I am looking so forward to the break.
And for any others out there who might celebrate (as we do here in Quebec, where it is called Fete Nationale), Happy St Jean Batiste Day!
Dark chocolate. Same as red wine. Lots of antioxidants and has real benefits. Chocolate makes your taste buds happy and that's something. Red wine has quite a variety of things the body can use that average diets may not provide. I have Lindt's Intense Orange with 70% cocoa open right now. I leave it on the counter and come by and snap off a row once in a while and all my taste buds applaud at my brilliance. I do that once a day maybe. I have my own addictions so I know about compulsion etc., the thing is if I had no chocolate self control then I would only buy a bar once a week knowing it was gone in one go.
I eat half a pint of Haagen Daaz Pralines and Cream ice cream every day almost. That or strawberry is my treat. You gotta give the prisoners a treat once in a while to keep them going. If they gain weight it's a small price to pay for that moment when you stop thinking and just realize how GOOD this is.
Don't know about St. Jean Batiste day here in the south USA but Wolf your treats sound good for most any old day!! I especially love the Haagen Daaz ice cream -- any flavor! yum