.....Recently, I was reading on one of the threads and came upon a comment by Wolf that started be thinking. Wolf was talking about the value of an OT memories thread. I wholeheartedly agree with you Wolf. Reliving the happy times by writing about them has done so much for me, in the way of therapy and healing. .....Here at thealzheimerspouse.com we have all suffered so much and we come here to share our misery. Why don't we share the happiest time of our lives? After reading the sad stories here I already feel very close to each of you and I would love to hear your happy story. .....So here is my story. (I think I told it before, but a long time ago)
..........THE HAPPIEST TIME OF MY LIFE .....The year was 1945. Still in the army. Just back from overseas. Stationed at Camp Pindale, Fresno. I was 23 years old and had never really had a girlfriend. I had always been kind of bashful around girls. My army buddy, Don Cook, had made arrangements for me to meet his girlfriend's 18 year old sister. .....On meeting her, I was immediately overwhelmed by her exuberance and beauty. She was so cheerful and happy and best of all she seemed to like me. But I knew she was very popular and had several boy friends. The next day, Don asked me when I was going to see her again and I told him I didn't know. Well, Don called me a dummy and gave me a little lecture about dating girls, but he set up another date and told me from now on, you're on your own. So I got another chance and I was in heaven. From then on, Helen was on my mind constantly. I was so happy. .....On the second date I was waiting for her out in front of the telephone company where she worked as an operator. There were girls coming out and I was not sure which one was Helen. One girl came out that looked like Helen but she just looked at me and didn't say anything. I didn't know what to do but I started following her down the street. Then I heard someone yell "Hey George"....Of course it was Helen who had just come out and fortunately saw me walking down the street. Wow.... I was so relieved. .....After the third date, something terrible ended it all. I awoke at the army base with a high fever and a pain in my right knee. I knew immediately that it was a reoccurrence of osteomyelitis which had plagued me several times since my high school days. I also knew, from my previous experiences with it, that I would be confined to a hospital for many months, being treated with drugs, before I would be cured. And worst of all, I knew that I would never see Helen again. .....They put me in a place called the infirmary, to be transferred to the hospital at Hammer Field the next day. I had told Don to give Helen the bad news. The pain in my leg, together with the high fever was bad, but the pain in my heart over losing Helen was all I could think about. It was about six o'clock in the evening and I was just lying there in the infirmary, feeling so bad, when this soldier came to my bed and asked if I was Sgt. Streit. He told me that he worked at the base message center, and there was a telephone operator at the Fresno switchboard who made him promise to hand deliver this little note to a Sgt. Streit at the base infirmary. He handed me the little note and said "Here it is. I had to walk all the way down here from headquarters, but I kept my promise". .....I remembered then that Helen did work for the telephone co. as a switchboard operator, and as I read the little note, the tears came to my eyes..... They still do..... .....That little note changed my life forever, and I have kept it close to me all these years. This is what it read. "Miss you very much. Hope you get well soon. My fingers are crossed for you. With all my love Helen"
.................That was it.....The happiest time of my life.....
.....I think I should mention that on my third date with my Dear Helen, when I said goodbye to her, she told me that I could give her a kiss if I liked. So I did. Then she said (and I remember her exact words) "Do you call that a kiss?"......I explained to her that I had never kissed anyone before. We did not kiss in our family. It was my very first Kiss. Which makes it all the more remarkable that she would stay with me for two and a half months while I was in the hospital. Visiting every day, even though I was such a terrible kisser. .....This helps to explain why I loved her so much.......
.....Come on ,now....Don't be bashful. I would love to read your happy story.
We must have ESP with each other or something. Today, I was working on cleaning up and updating the home page. I was checking the resources on the left side, when I noticed the Our Love Stories box. I thought to myself - I haven't asked for contributions to that section in years - I'm going to remind our members about it and ask for them to contribute their stories.
You did it for me - thank you. Yours will be the first new story added to that section. For those of you unfamiliar with that section, log onto the home page, read the stories, and add yours here.
George - I hope you don't mind - I added "love story" to the title for more explanation. I also removed the OT. Our happy memories of our love is definitely ON topic.
You do have one of the best stories and Joan has put it on the home page.
What really matters is that we tell OUR story and whether it compares to anyone else's or not. It is the telling of our memory which sets the continuity of our lives whether they are here with us or not.
I encourage everyone to remind themselves how to copy and save. It's heartbreaking when we labor over something and lose it and if we take too long we will time out.
Put the cursor over the text, left mouse button click, hold the button down and drag over all the words, let go of the button, check that the words are all in blue, put the cursor somewhere over the blue text, right mouse button click and let go, move the cursor over the word "copy" and left click on that word.
Now hit the 'add your comments' button. If it went into space, just come back to this thread, right click in this box, and click on the word "paste". Ta daa!
I hope we see a lot of stories. Don't have to be when we met. Love stories. Memories.
C,mon folks - post your love stories - your best memories of your best time together. I put George's up in the Love Stories section on the left side of the home page, but we need a lot more recent ones to go with the older ones that are there.
My oldest sister’s husband was stationed in Hawaii. Her two sons who were just a few years younger than me thought their aunt needed help finding guys. They would take my picture around showing it to sailors asking if they wanted to write to their aunt so I had a few guys I wrote to. Art was managing the roller rink on base (tough duty) where he got to know the kids. He went home with them for lunch one day, saw my picture and asked who it was. He wrote one letter to me in October 1969 then after I sent him a Christmas card in December he wrote back telling me he was getting married in June so we shouldn’t write to each other any more.
Fast forward: Christmas 1970 where he was now on sea duty. I had graduated from high school in June, turned 18 in October and going to medical assistant school. I sent Art a Christmas card asking how he was and if he had gotten married. He wrote back saying he was glad I wrote because he lost my address and had not gotten married. He said he wanted to write but had no idea how often he could get letters out because they would be out at sea heading back to Long Beach from Singapore. We exchanged a few letters the next 4 months. In April he said he wanted to meet me and would send me the money to meet him in Long Beach.
May 3, 1971 6:30 pm I walked off the bus in Long Beach. He took me to my brother Bob’s who also was stationed in Long Beach, then we went walking to get to know each other. By 9:30 we had decided we wanted to get married and would do it in September. Then he took me to meet a good friend of his who was getting married that Friday. Art was best man and I sat on the front row with the couples 5 kids. We looked at each other and later decided we did not want to wait so would get married the following Sunday. Our first date was that evening when we went to the drive-in along with the couples 5 kids. The oldest girl had a candy machine ring that she gave to Art to give to me as an engagement ring – I still have it. A very romantic date!
We called our parents that Sunday, Mother’s Day, and told them we were getting married the following Sunday. Monday we took the bus up to Portland. I told Art I lived in the boonies but he did not believe me. Our driveway was a mile into the woods – he did not believe we were going to my house. We were married at the Vancouver Friends Church on Sunday May 16, 1971. We were married in Washington because they only had a 3 day waiting period while Oregon required blood test and 7 day wait. His parents flew out from Massachusetts and were shocked we had electricity, running water and indoor plumbing – we had an outhouse I offered to let my new MIL use (this was 1971 remember).
We were going to drive my car back to Massachusetts where he was from but his parents talked him into flying back. I wish I could say it was all exciting and romantic, but we stayed at is parents for 2 weeks before we found an apartment. In those first two weeks his parents made sure I knew 1) they thought I was pregnant and forced him to marry me; 2) they had hoped he would marry Susan (high school girlfriend); 3) they felt t-shirts and jeans were not appropriate wear for the city life – polyester pantsuits were more appropriate which I hated but went along; 4) they were going to be the parents I never had. He went to work at Sweethearts Plastics where he worked before he went into the Navy. In August I broke out with a rash all over my body which the old family doctor said was my tonsils – had never had a problem with them. I had to expose as much skin to the sun as possible and take baths twice a day in starch water! Not fun for a newlywed. Three days later when I got out of the hospital he went into the VA hospital in Boston for an abscess tooth – a tooth the Navy supposedly did a root canal on but did not get all the root. So here I was recovering from a T&A while his parents took me daily in to visit him the week he was in there. I would have preferred staying home recovering but they would not hear of it! I would be considered rude and unappreciative if I did not take them up on their offer.
In October I found a job as a nurse’s aide at the local hospital in the town we moved too. I loved the job but it was graveyard and my husband worked swing shift. We saw little of each other and while I slept during the day he went to his parents. On Saturday nights when I did not work we went out bar hopping (even though I was underage) with his uncle – which I really liked. We also had a lot of fun with his sister and her two daughters which I and their Uncle Art adored.
For our first anniversary we bought a peek-a-poo puppy. She was adorable and a lot of fun. Also, one of Art’s nieces came to visit often. After a year I started visiting the doctor to find out why I had not gotten pregnant. That was put on hold after 1 ½ years I had had enough of his parents and the New England lifestyle – told him I was going back to the northwest, he could stay or come with me. He followed and the rest is history!
I was never able to get pregnant and in 1978 we adopted a brother (2) and sister (1) who had been taken away from their parents. It was the happiest day – thought all would be perfect. We moved to Omak, WA where Art got his dream of owning his own print shop, we had a place in the country where I grew our veggies which I canned. The kids had room to run and play. Years later I found he never wanted to adopt. If he could not have a bio child he did not want any which explained why he never wanted to bond with them.
We were happy the first 3 years in Omak then he started changing. Things happened that I now believe were early signs of the Alzheimer’s Disease to come about 22 years later. After a few rough years he seemed to bounce back but constantly changed jobs hoping the next one would be his dream job. He was able to change jobs because he was a top notch offset pressman. The kids left many friends and homes behind following after his constant changing which I regret doing. In 2004 we both lost our jobs – I knew mine was coming but his was a surprise. I now can look back and believe he did things he knew were wrong due to the AD and detached personality he was diagnosed with earlier. We gave up the house, moved into our motorhome and in fall 2005 started living our dream to travel and work around the country. He was diagnosed in 2008 when we went back to my sister’s in Vancouver and sat there for 2 years before someone on my spouse support group said ‘I was sitting around waiting for him to die’ and realized that was what I was doing. We packed up and took off. He could no longer work, but I could and he still drove. His last driving was when we went to Nevada fall 2012. He tried to drive when we left a year ago but it was too stressful for him.
Now we are parked in an RV park because it is easier on him, less stress due to no changing all the time. An RV park can be like a ‘family’ watching out for each other which this one is. We have been through a lot in our 43 years. This narrative just touches some of it. There is a lot of bad too in marriage but we were committed, did not want to become one of the divorce stats, so worked through it. Now there is Alzheimer’s Disease to work through as it takes more and more of Art away day by day. Life still goes on no matter what. How we deal with it, the choices we make, is up to us.
Thanks for your story, Charlotte. I found it very interesting. Sounds like you've always been Pacific Northwest feisty. You had to be with your New England in-laws. "Things happened that I now believe were early signs of the Alzheimer’s Disease to come about 22 years later." Or could Alzheimer's just make existing characteristics worse? I've wondered that about my husband.
I have always found it very hard to differentiate bad behavior from early dementia symptoms. My children often question the same thing. I wonder how many divorces were caused by undiagnosed AD.
Charlotte .....Thank you for letting me know that I'm not the only one with a great love story to tell. I enjoyed reading it and I'll bet you enjoyed writing it. I certainly had a good time writing my little story. It's a nice way to relive the good old days. .....Last night I had fun reading the Love Stories on the home page. I never knew they existed until Joan mentioned them.
Bluedaze sent me hers via email. I will be adding both hers and Charlotte' s to the section on the home page. I added George's a couple of days ago. For those who haven't been aware of that section, take a look. It's a joy to read. Uplifting.
Mary75, as they say 'you can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl'.
The year we were married his parents were celebrating their 25th. Here we were just starting off and had to come up with our 1/3 of the cost of a big celebration. After my MIL died we found their marriage certificate: they were not married until about 1982 or so. Evidently they had taken off on a weekend together and to save face they told every one they eloped. When we found out hb said it made sense why his dad dated other women taking the kids with him, and why he often slept in the shed. I wish my MIL was alive so I could give her a piece of my mind!
Dianne was the first thing I ever really wanted in life and was serious about getting. I told her I was going to marry her on our second date and her look clearly said "oh no a weirdo". So I never mentioned it again until I knew she'd say yes. She was the little red headed girl in charlie brown. Celtic, quiet, and self assured. I was a giant hun apparently although when we married at 19/18 I don't think either of us knew what we were. We would have married later but her father refused to let her stay out past 11 so we moved the date up. Her parents seemed fixated on us getting pregnant but we weren't looking to become parents until we had some vague idea who we were. We had a couple of shorter jobs and quit to travel and hitch hike across Canada and down the west coast. We lived outside San Fransisco for six months in 1973. I could see the city from the deck on the side of the mountain and we bopped around chinatown, stinson beach, muir woods, and I learned how to paint. We flew back and got real jobs, met all our lifetime friends over the next few years, went out almost every night and on weekends while we were going to night school. I get exhausted just reading my journals of those years. Those people bear little resemblance to us in the middle years or us in the later years before AD.
When we hit 30 everyone was having children and so we talked about it for 1/2 hour at the boatshow. We decided that everyone else having them wasn't a good reason for us to because neither of us was excited about it. So we bought the sailboat and explored Georgian Bay. There's 20 years or so in there that were a giant fun blur. We did well in our jobs, we always saved , she kept our social calendar full, we watched the kids grow up and got close to some, and the time just flew by. Neither of us wanted much. We never bought into new shiny things. We were just us and it was fun to be together and it was easy to compromise. We drove everywhere from Nova Scotia to Chicago and from the Florida Keys to Thunder Bay. We could sit for hours quietly or talk for hours.
The rabbit thing died down over the decades but we always talked about everything. She taught me a lot of things about how to be and I think I returned that. Her family was reserved where saying the thing made it real so fourty year old things were still simmering on the stove and my family was animated and life was opera so it was a fun mix that made for mortifying times. I recall laughing out loud at something funny on TV the first time I was invited over and they all stared at me like I was having a fit. It's funny I explained pointing at the screen. Ok no laughing out loud.
My family commented on and argued over what was happening on TV. Her family watched practising rigor mortis. Dianne was overwhelmed the first few times at my house. She never really changed but I know she came to enjoy the theatre and when large groups of friends got together it was the same racket anyway.
She taught me how to be calm and I taught her how to enjoy being crazy. She taught me dignity and I taught her the Kama Sutra. She taught me how to make high tea and I taught her how to pee standing up. She taught me caution and I taught her risk.
Only I know Dianne. Everyone thought she was so quiet and she was. They all liked her. But only I know all the things we did we never told anybody else because it was just us. Like the time we were lying in bed not sleeping for some reason and I said lets go to washington and we got up got dressed made a tea and coffee and some ten hours later were in Washington DC walking around the zoo. I still have a picture of her and the gorilla.
And she stood up in that canoe. We were easily ten minutes out and she really had to go. I gave her the options of which getting in the water and climbing back in the canoe was not one of them. She swore like a trooper, and stood up trusting me, and amazed herself. Downwind of course. Always downwind. Too much information. Yes. But quiet little Dianne was always so willing to test herself she would have made Virginia Woolf afraid.
It was glorious. It was a privilege. It was the best of times.
Wolf - you definitely had a very special and fulfilling marriage. I am happy you did, have those fantastic memories and sorry that it has ended this way.
Wolf; .....Thank you for your story. I was wondering if we would get to read the Wolf and Dianne story. I always did like your writing because you have a habit of putting it all out there without holding anything back. .....I can certainly relate to many parts of your happy marriage. Your telling of what Dianne has taught you, brought to my mind everything I had learned from my Helen. These golden wives have a way of teaching their husbands what life is all about. And at the time, I never realized that I was being taught. .....Hang in there Wolf, and keep on posting...................................GeorgieBoy