For the first time since DH entered the NH, I had surgery. He was always here to care for me ,and was a wonderful caregiver. Coming home to an empty house (dog was here but not good at cooking)made me realize even more how much I miss DH.So many things we lose to this disease.
I am going through that now. I just had cataract surgery and have to put drops in the eye 4 times a day. My wife would have done that, but now I have to do it myself. I miss almost half the time!!
This morning I bent over to take the harness off my puppy and the muscles in my lower back felt like they tore and they burned. Now I sit in my chair with the heat on and have trouble walking or getting up off the chair. If Kevan were here he would take care of me and now I don't even know how I will make my dinner. Where is my caregiver??
I am facing the surgery at the end of the month. Even though my husband is here I do not expect much sympathy or caring from him. He never did in the past so why would it be any different.
As I play the waiting game until the 28th I find myself wanting to cry. I think I figured out part of it - no spouse to talk to about it. I can't mention it cause it gets him stressed - mostly I think because I am setting up people to keep an eye on him. Even though there has been no problem in the past we all know how stress and/or change can cause a quick change in them. It goes back to not having your spouse to share this with.
Marsh - that is funny you would miss half the time. I have this preconceived idea that a doctor would be good at it!! :-) That teaches me to think that.
Jazzy - hope you are feeling better. Alternate with ice too now that the initial time has passed.
Charlotte, tears are a great stress reliever. Let them come. I cried every day in the hospital - just went into the bathroom and got it out of our of my system. Someone once told me tears are a gift from God. I like to do it in private, though.
lol - I would have to go to the public showers. In the motorhome we only have 6 gals, so it is wet, turn off water, soap up, then rinse. I will let it go sometime when he is asleep or out walking.
Charlotte, I don't know how you do it in a motorhome. I have to have space between us. He hangs out upstairs mostly and I am down all the time. I think I would go stark raving mad if we didn't have that space between us. I am a very independent person and as this disease progresses and he becomes more and more dependent on me for everything....I am beginning to feel the walls closing in on me. Madness and dark place....here I come!
Yea I agree I need the space. I would not make it without the small distance during the day. I do miss someone to take care of me. My DH has never been great at that when I am sick. Now he just sits and stares at me and is upset not knowing what to do. I guess it scares him that he knows enough, I am struggling to take of him and myself. I went to urgent care yesterday after being sick for a week. Just acid in stomach unable to eat. Just the smell of food upset me. I did not throw up. They said I have ulcers. Wonder why. DH with AD and daughter with eating disorder. So now doctor appointments to see how bad they are. In home healthcare starts next Wednesday , not soon enough.
Charlotte I have had that surgery, it was however 15 years ago and I was much younger . I hope it all goes very smooth and you bounce right back. I have marked the calendar and will be sending all kinds of good thoughts your way on the 28th. You are a dear and wonderful person.
Aunt B - we have lived in it for 10 years now. Yes, I often think of moving into an apartment. But, I would loose the community I have here in the park - the people who watch out for Art and a safe place for him to walk all he wants to. Right around us are some super ladies in particular keep an eye on him and will be my helpers with him if needed after surgery. Here when the sun comes out, doors open and people are out. In our corner we all have flowers, two have dogs that we are aunt/uncle too that we can take for walks anytime I want to. We often borrow ingredients from each other, one lady doesn't have much money so I buy a whole cauliflower, bag of carrots, bag of broccoli, etc and give her half (she loves veggies too). In fact, if you look in her frig and freezer it is usually empty but she has a heart of gold so I have no problem sharing food with her. If not, it would just go bad cause hb won't eat it.
It has its drawbacks cause they are single - I am not. But we all live in RVs and have the same type of upkeep and problems. If I were to move into an apartment I know you rarely get to know your neighbors. I have looked at 55+ but they are expensive or when I drive by I never see anyone outside. When he no longer walks like he does, or socializes, or I need a bigger bathroom/shower then it will be time to move. But I only want one with a w/d hookup so I won't have to run to the laundromat if he becomes incontinent. Plus I do miss my own w/d.