My husband fell and broke his hip, had surgery, and now is in the recuperating process in the hospital. He is on swing bed there and can stay for 20 days which medicare will pay. He can't go back to the alf where he was when he fell as he will be two people assist for some time. He can't go into the nursing home in our town since his ex-wife lives there and took issue with him moving in. (B***h). So now we are looking for a new home. The closest places are again two hours drive away. And a boatload more money. Once again I'm reminded how relentless this disease continues to be. This will be the fifth time moving.
jules, I'm sorry I don't remember where you're from, so my advice is geared towards someone living in the US. Why does the ex-wife have ANY say if he's there or not? I would recommend that you speak with the Director of the nursing home and the nursing home ombudsman. There should be no way that an ex spouse can have a say about where the former spouse lives unless it's an issue of a restraining order.
Since I don't know the facts about this current situation, I can only offer some recommendations, which may or may not be helpful. While your husband is recuperating, I would talk with the nursing home director, the ombudsman and an attorney, perhaps an elder law atty. There should be absolutely NO reason your husband cannot be a resident of the local nursing home unless the nursing home won't accept him. And if they refuse to accept him because the ex-wife lives there, then definitely contact the ombudsman and atty to understand his and your rights.
I am truly sorry this has been and continues to be such a trying journey for you both.
I was talking to the Director at the nursing home. The first thing he said was they had a resident that had an issue with him moving there. It is a small facility and they would have exposure to each other in the dining room. Then he said my husband wasn't really a good fit for their facility and they couldn't do physical therapy for him there. Initially I was pissed. But now I don't want him exposed to her everyday and I don't want to see her either. So it's better to move somewhere else. That doesn't mean I'm not going to give them some grief over it at the home if it isn't legal. He doesn't even know her at this point so it wouldn't bother him but it would bother her. People are really beginning to annoy me. I'm not the most patient person right now so it's better I give myself some time to let this go.
I think I would agree that if its a public facility and the only one available it would be cause for concern being denied due to a residents complaint. I would also contact the higher ups and find out whats up with that. doesn't seem legal to me either. but then again you admit you don't want to subject him to that atmosphere. but even so, it seems very unreasonable. best of luck divvi