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    • CommentAuthorRebeccap
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2014
     
    I have only been a member for a short while but I sure could use your help. My DH diagnosed at 61 with alzheimers 4 years ago is driving my sons wild the way he agrivates their kids. The grandsons seem to like it but the granddaughters do not. My oldest son had a hernia operation today and we had to babysit his kids. When my son got home from the hospital DH started making fun of his pain and it made my son so mad. DH was so obnoxious. I'm not sure what stage he is in but from all the blogs and message boards I've read I would say stage 5. He seems to have symptoms from quire a few stages. I guess what I'm asking is could this just be him being hateful or has anyone experienced this with their spouse? I hope my message makes sense. It's only my second post.
  1.  
    Welcome Rebeccap.

    Yes, what you describe is inappropriate behavior often due to Alzheimers. The disease damages the brain's ability
    To inhibit impulsive behavior and poor judgement and reasoning occurs.

    My DH also annoys my grandchildren. My. Granddaughter gets very angry with him. The grandsons are older
    And more understanding. DH thinks he is teasing. He also makes comments which can be upsetting.
    We need to remember it is the disease causing this behavior. Sometimes that is hard to do.
    • CommentAuthorRebeccap
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2014
     
    Thank you Lorrie. That's what I thought too but I believe my son thinks otherwise. I need to look up some articles and send them by email. He usually reads what I send him.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2014
     
    The last two times we visited the two youngest, he would crab 5 year old grandson's arm or just hold him down. Their family rule is when told to let go to do it. But he does not. Grandson tries to be understanding but when he holds him too tight it hurts and when I tell him to let go he is hurting it doesn't register. I usually have to find a subtle way to intervene.

    When we are out walking around the park he will sometimes make comments to people as we walk by that bother me. I try to just keep him moving.

    I am hoping the Zoloft may help with these things. Time will tell
  2.  
    My g'children were just entering their teens when DH started acting out. They were old enough to understand. He never laid a hand on them, but they would have been able to get away. My advice has always been to never leave little ones alone with someone with AD and if they are aggressive or otherwise difficult, keep the little ones away. They will have bad memories of their g'parents and that's not good. There are any number of AD books for children of every age. Please get some and protect the children. Your DH cannot help what he is doing, it's up to you to keep things as calm as possible.
    • CommentAuthorRebeccap
    • CommentTimeMay 3rd 2014
     
    Bettyhere

    Thank you for your response. Yes I do agree that I need to keep things calm. I do try and do that. Calm and simple. It definitely makes a difference in how he acts and feels. It makes me so happy when he seems content. The calmer the better.
    • CommentAuthormary22033
    • CommentTimeMay 6th 2014
     
    Rebecapp - you and your son should read this document from beginning to end - it is very helpful: Understanding the Dementia Experience

    You can find it here: http://www.smashwords.com/books/download/210580/1/latest/0/0/understanding-the-dementia-experience.pdf
    • CommentAuthorRebeccap
    • CommentTimeMay 7th 2014
     
    Mary thank you so much. Just what I was looking for
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeMay 8th 2014 edited
     
    Rebeccap yes it happens they seem to get quite hateful around family and friends. it happened to us early on. my DH was always a loving family man and soon into the disease got to where he couldn't stand to be around small kids or children. he always seemed to be ready to pick on them or even an adult. it got so bad I had to ban his own son from visiting for quite a while over issues with the kids. like most family doesn't understand the disease makes them very different in mental status and how they act. its also a very good idea to supervise these times around children. we have heard, and unfortunately true, sometimes they can make sexual advances or insinuations toward even strangers. we have to be prepared to protect them from themselves as well as others subjected to these outbursts.
    best of luck, family relations can suffer greatly during these stressful times. eventually I think they move into another phase and it lessens .
    divvi
    • CommentAuthorring
    • CommentTimeMay 8th 2014
     
    Hi All.
    I'm not much of a techie and am just learning my way around my first "I" product but I looked up Understanding the Dementia Experience recommended by mary22033 and the book is available free on iBooks.