No one has started a May thread that I could find, so I will.
Beautiful sunny day - almost too warm. I am not ready to start running the a/c yet.
Washed our car today - was warm but the sun was behind clouds. It is 90 out there would hate to see the temp if there were no clouds. Anyway, one would think remembering how to wash a car would be a last memory to go but Art had trouble remembering how to do it - like pour soap in bucket, dip brush and wash car. He kept going back to the same area to wash even though it was soapy. I think he is getting to the place where even though something is right in front of him, he does not see it. I have noticed more lately he will be looking for something and it is right in front of him.
Got call from his neuro today. She is going to send Zoloft for him and see if that helps. As long as I don't mention my surgery he is fine. But if I should he starts stressing. We all know it is less likely worry about me but more likely worrying about him with me gone or if something happens to me. And I don't blame him.
Glad you're having a beautiful sunny day! Would sure help to lift the spirits where I live.....barely makes it to 50 degrees, grey & cloudy, drizzly. I don't think I've felt warm since about last November! How sad it is when something that they've done practically since childhood (well, early adulthood anyway) just seems to slip away. Hope the Zoloft helps him (I thought that was for depression, though. I could be wrong).
I told her in the email I felt he was getting more upset with himself realizing what he can no longer do. Also, his always needing to walk which could be depression, anxiety or antsy. And when I was talking about the surgery last month, setting things in line to make sure he is not alone when I am in the hospital that night, he was getting stressed and upset. I believe it was a combination of him realizing I don't trust him alone or don't want him alone and freaking out, and worrying about if something happens to me what will happen to him. So now that I have things in order, I won't mention it until just before the date.
Zoloft: Treats depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), social anxiety disorder (SAD), and panic disorder. This medicine is an antidepressant called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI).
OT but mu DH has been on Sertraline since his diagnosis. At that time, he was experiencing anxiety and depression over his declining abilities. He was crying daily. It stopped the crying and sadness.
And one nice off label of Sertraline for me has been to help with sinus region migraines which is set off with weather changes... My husband's neruo started me on it a little more than a year ago. I started out on 25Mg for 8 days then 50 mg. Later when stresses began to pile up a bit more it was increased to 100MG starting out with an increase of 50 + 25 tabs and then up to the 100Mg dose. I think it has been a godsend and were it not for the help it provided is other areas as well( anxiety over the circumstances which were growing worse) I don't know how I would have managed when my DH died nor in these months since. I am swamped with going through things now and it does frustrate me at times..but the med keeps me on an even keel. Dr is going to keep me on it for some time yet...but not forever.
It is sunny and nice for the next week. 49 this morning and 75 later. Great weather. The only thing is the yard work starts now. I just let DH ride mow in circles. Then I go behind and get what he missed. If he gets off the mower cuts off. I stay outside and watch him. Sunday May 4 he turns 62. We have been dealing with this for a long time now. We will have cake and ice cream. He loves his sweets.
Sunny, low humidity beautiful day. I finished mowing my large yard. I would not hire me. I do a terrible job don't try to get in the corners. Will have regular guy mow next week. Wish I could afford him every week.
That is very sad news, Mary. I have been wondering about your absence. Please take care and know that others are thinking of you. Sending you kind wishes for a speedy return to good health. XX
Mary, sending hugs your way. I hope you have someone to help you a bit. Hopefully the weather will be nice and you can sit in the sunshine for a while.
I am also checking in today for the first time in a couple of weeks. My April ended with an emergency gall bladder removal, so I hope May will be a better month! The emergency sure brought home the importance of having a good support system in place when something unexpected happens to the caregiver, and the person with dementia cannot be left alone. I am fortunate to have such a system, and I didnt' need to worry about my DH while I was in hospital as he was well taken care of.
Mary75, I hope you recover quickly and fully. Don't over-extend trying to get things done. I have no idea what I would do being on my own. I think I would have to pay someone to help me. I had my mom with me when she broke her hip and it took a couple of months as I recall to get back to good mobility. I think she extended it though because she liked my cooking. I hope it goes well.
Thank you all for your kind comments. Cheered me up no end. I did hire a care aid from an agency, but they only turned up once. Moral of the story: don't get discharged from the hospital on a Friday. For example, no safety equipment put in by the occupational therapist as promised. Should be able to get things more settled tomorrow, Monday, though. It would be nice to have a bath. Have felt much closer to Eric - in fact I'm using his walker. I had forgotten that he was in so much pain from his fractured coccyx, the Alzheimer's element loomed so large in my mind. There has been such a change for the worse in our medical system since Eric died 3 years ago. Our health dollar in B.C. has to stretch so far it is not working at all well for the patient. I don't know what the solution is except to try to keep out of the hospital.
Mary75*, so sorry to hear about your fall. It does sound terribly painfully. Wishing you an easy recovery from here on.
bqd, wishing you a good recovery also. I have no idea what would happen if I had some kind of emergency. This is obviously something I'm going to have to think about and make some plans. Hopefully I will not put it off much longer.
Mary, I am so sorry to hear about your fall. It is bad enough to be in pain, but to not have anyone to help you makes it so much worse. I hope you get the equipment and help you need on Monday.
bqd, Take care of yourself,and don't try to do too much right away. You are lucky you had things in place for someone to care for your husband.
Sometimes we think we are invincible and don't need that backup plan. I know personally, how that can backfire. I should have seriously asked myself "what if" and acted on it right away.
Mary75, please take care of yourself friend! so sorry to hear of this latest dlemma but you are one strong cookie and will push forward to full recovery very soon hopefully. let us know how you are fairing. sending lots of hugs. divvi
Ring, yes please make sure that you have a support network that can handle the unexpected!
I was in hospital a total of 9 days. It took a village to look after me and my DH while I was incapacitated - 3 neighbors, 2 friends from the city, the social worker and the respite center. Even the surgeon helped - he did the surgery laproscopically so I could be back on my feet faster, even though he would have preferred taking out my gall bladder the old fashioned way because of the condition it was in.
Moon* - this is the hard part for me now - not trying to do too much. Spring is finally here, my gardens are a mess and I have waited through a very long winter to get out there and work in my flowerbeds. Now I can't, nor can I do any heavy housework for at least 8 weeks! It seems like an eternity to me, because I have always been so active. We are supposed to be getting some in home help for a few hours a week. This would certainly make it easier, if it materializes!
Thanks again to everyone for their encouraging words. It really helps. Divvi, I was so pleased today when I was in the kitchen, within safe reach of the counters and my walker, to find that I could walk a few steps on my own. WOW! It felt so good. Just living up to your "strong cookie" title.
Had our first BBQ of the season yesterday - I enjoyed standing in front of the grill again. The weather is finally warming and its spring at last!
I am having difficulty recovering from my surgery. I have always been healthy and the strong one and I am not a very patient patient. I am forbidden from lifting anything heavier than 5 pounds for the next 8 weeks. My DH tries to help, but he is not physically strong - sometimes he has difficulty opening a bottle of water! And he is not steady on his feet. He did manage to get one of the patio tables together the other day, but it was a real puzzle for him to figure out how to attach the legs, and all I could do was guide him, not help.
The in home help that Social Services promised has so far failed to materialize, and the landscaping company I hired to finish the spring clean up of the gardens and lawn have not appeared either. This is so frustrating, and only adds to the frustration of being an Alzheimer caregiver! I sympathize with other caregivers who have had health problems of there own and continue to care for their LO's. Its doubly difficult.
Picked the first of the strawberries this a.m. so spring is really here. The vines are loaded with more to ripen. Now if I could just get up after I'm down a little easier. ;) These old bones aren't what they used to be!!
Mary75 I truly hope you are healing quickly, and I am so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could be there to fly you around the neighbourhood in a walker chair, go to Whitespot , and maybe even have some laughs. How is is going?
I am feeling a bit bad about not posting much lately. Don't really know why. But I do read and care for you all so. Jazzy has been talking about support groups that don't help, I get it. And it is only here , ONLY HERE, that I feel understood.
We are officially out of a 4 year drought in my area and it is so nice to see GREEN and not dust. My dragon fruit flowers are starting and I look so forward to the juicy messy deliciousness. Time to dig out the head lamp to pilfer evening pollen for them, from a patch of another cultivar up the road.
I WILL have my DC experience done by next, I will I will. This ennui has had a real strong grip on me, but, I am ok. Dado seems to be on a plateau, first time since the rapid decline starting 3 and a half years ago. He is silent and sits mostly with his eyes closed, waiting to be fed and changed. I drive in every third day and spend the whole day with him as I can not go everyday. We have a long visit with snacks, movies, shaving, nail cutting, massages and lots of kisses. He sometimes opens his eyes and stares at me like he is trying to figure it all out. But when he does see me, he still knows to pucker up for a kiss.
Thanks, Coco. Always interested to read your posts. Feel like I'm there with you. Saw the doctor 2 days go, and he says I was very lucky not to have done more damage and that I should heal completely. Gave me permission to drive as my right leg and foot are okay. Went to the neighbourhood library and got some DVD's. Getting Meals on Wheels, which is a help. Plan to go to physio (I've got a wonderful physio who has helped me over the years with ankylosing spondylitis) in a couple of weeks and get walking again on my own. Next week I'm going to get my hair cut. I'm reduced to tying it under my chin.
Planted Gerber Daisies years ago. My DH goes out and picks things up in the yard. He picks up leaves one at a time. He also picks things up out of my flower beds. He has taken up all the pine straw I put around bushes and flowers. He pulled up my daisies as they just started to come up. Of course I asked him time and time again to leave things alone. I wonder if the little name sticks that come with them would deter him from pulling them. I guess this should have been under destroying things. But it is "May showers bring May flowers". I do not like the longer days. I hated winter because he could not get outside much, but now he is driving me crazy being outside so long and keeping up with him.
jackiem29, warm weather was the worst for us because my DH was obsessed with finding the softball tournament (in his boyhood neighborhood far far away) or taking his bike out for a ride. It made me a nervous wreck. He never touched my gardens thank goodness! I'd have lost all patience if he'd pulled up my flowers. Luckily, he never wanted to get near the dirt. Good luck this summer.
Fiona68 I go through the bike thing all the time. I had to disable it. But lost another flower today. DH is getting worse. I just wish he would sit for 5 minutes.
Went up to the kids - grandson begged me to come up, then he was wired all day. Went to the wildlife refuge and hiked around after a picnic lunch. ON the way home we stopped for dinner at the truck stop/Carls Jr. Art said he had to go to the bathroom while I ordered. I sat down, the order came was half way done and still no Art. I had left my phone in the car so couldn't call him. He finally come into Carl's where he found me. Said he had been waiting outside the bathroom -thought we had gone together. He sat down with tears in his eyes, his hands were shaking and he looked like a scared little boy. .I wanted to cry too
Beautiful spring weather here in Florida! We enjoyed our first zucchini from our garden last evening, and have tomatoes almost ready for picking -- maybe we'll jump the gun a little and pick a few green for "fried green tomatoes" -- a southern favorite. Summer squash and okra not far behind, but broccoli and kohlrabi had to be replanted, so they're still a month or so away.
I remember visiting my parents after they moved to Florida, Gourdchipper, and the early gardens were wonderful. It's also great to go out and pick an orange off the tree for breakfast.
It turns out I own a 1969 Republican Women's Cookbook with a forward by Pat Nixon where you're not allowed to use liberal amounts of any ingredient. Pizza recipes are in the foreign food section. And just as I suspected grits are made from the same ingredients as wallpaper paste.
Basically you boil a small tree until it's soft enough not to choke you to death and then you serve it as a pile of goop beside real food like lets say eggs and toast. Nobody has ever explained why. That's like pumpkin pie though. You have halloween and it's not enough to toast and salt the pumpkin seeds - you use the ochre colored mush and boil it and use it as pie filling! Would you like a slice of pumpkin pie? No thanks, I'd rather be beaten to death.
So far I've found what looks like an authentic Gucci handbag. A gold Waterman fountain pen. A gold Waterman pen and pencil set. The entire Calgary olympics coin collection mint in boxes. One of the missing large gold chains. Her mother's box of recipies mostly in her handwriting. My public school report cards. A brand new Braun kitchen machine, a brand new Braun handblender, four brand new Braun shavers, a box of Gillette batteries of every size including tiny camera batteries all expired, two brand new Braun coffee makers, a box of manual and electric Oral B toothbrushes, and a total of six Braun clocks all in their original boxes.
My wife's behaviour showed up exactly when we moved and even though we've been here for almost 8 years, neither of us ever fully unpacked beyond what was necessary. Now I'm finally going through the 1/3 of our stuff that made the trip but never went anywhere.
I found 14 Gillette Mach3 Turbo cartidge boxes with eight cartridges in each box. I will never be buying blades again. I have a small collection of Gillette shave creams, 3 Venus shavers, and an entire box of children's toothbrushes made into cartoon characters all in their plastic wrapping. My table looks like a merchandise display in a store.
My wife worked at Gillette in the Braun division most of her life and for quite a while in marketing. There are more boxes to go through but I'm done for the day. I hope to find the one good ring that's still missing. I've learned to stick my fingers in everywhere because I've find things stuck inside the lining of clothes.
While doing all this I invented a new product. It's a large inflatable doll that looks kind of like a man who's got a name tag drawn on his lapel identifying him as Al Zheimer. When you bop the inflatable doll on the head his eyes and tongue bug out and when you pull his ears they go back in. You can also just punch him because the bottom has a sealed section of sand so that he bobs right back up for more. I've got a sure winner here. Don't pee on my parade.
Literally a crappy day!! I was at my PCP office for follow-up on the welbutrin I have been on. While I was waiting for him (he was running an hour late) got a panic call from Art that the toilet exploded, crap every where. I started crying and when the doctor came in he asked if I thought it was helping. I told him I didn't know because of the stress of the upcoming surgery - stress related to Art. I know with the problem I have to get home to find out what is going on will test it too. I did tell him I thought it was helping me to not be so impatient with him. Got home to find he had most of the initial crap cleaned up so I took over cleaning up the rest then had him fix a bucket of bleach water to wash everything down. Sent him to the roof to run water down the black water vent but he could not figure it out so will have to work on that. I won't go on the roof - with my weight I don't feel safe. If the vent is clogged it could have caused the 'explosion'. We went and talked to the RV guy and he thinks we only need to replace the gasket which means unhooking the water, unscrewing the bolts that hold the toilet down, lifting it up and replacing. I could do it, Art could if I talked him through step by step but I don't feel like either. So a guy in the park is going to change it for us. Prays that the gasket fixes the problem is much appreciated.
Of course Art does not remember how it happened. It had to have happened when he peed then flushed because that is the only way it could get past the flange.
update: about a half hour ago after it was hooked all up and working I went in, stepped on the pedal and had a fountain of water come about 3 feet into the air. Fortunately it was mostly all just water. mopped up again, wiped down with bleach water and hopefully all will be well. We are thinking somehow the black water flush water was running or leaking and had filled it up. Lets hope so. I disconnected it so that can't happen again - if that is what happened. Art has a habit of turning it on. Time will tell.
And he has no memory of any of it. He just went into pee and I asked if it worked alright. He said yes, why wouldn't it?
Charlotte, following up one of your posts about life and mayhem in your motor home is never easy. You seem to take everything in stride in a way that most couldn't or wouldn't.
Its been a good week here. My surgeon has given me the okay to do some "light" gardening, and to go swimming when the water warms up. And we picked our son up in the city on Tuesday, and he has been busy doing a lot of chores that I would normally do but can't do while I am recovering. Its been great to have him here, and I will sure miss him after I take him back this afternoon. Of course DH did not remember that our DS was coming to visit, so he wondered why, after my appointment with the surgeon, I was headed to the city (he asked if we were just out for a drive?).
And we are finally getting near normal temperatures - now if the black flies would just move on life could be beautiful!
bqd - I wanted to sit down and cry but there was 'crap' to clean up!! He did do a pretty good job with a neighbors help before I got him. The carpet in the bedroom by the tub wall was not drying so I tore it up. The carpet, pad and plywood was still soaked. It is hopefully drying now. I will put layers of baking soda hoping to get rid of the smell. I am thinking maybe I need to put some Vick's under my nose to clean out my sniffer, then see how things smell! He still has no memory and can't figure out why things, especially the toilet room, is not put back together. I did wash his shoes with bleach water last night, got him to put on clean clothes today but could not get him to shower. His shower days are Tuesday and Friday and won't alter from that!!
I am glad you are feeling better bqd. Always nice to be able to do some things you love. I go today for the pre-op. Last night I was laying in bed thinking that 'this time next week I will be drugged up and sleeping'. wish I was at that time.
Today is suppose to be 90 so I started the A/C early. Yesterday we didn't have it going because of in/out and it was so hot. I sweated so much and was dehydrated I managed to sleep all night without getting up to pee despite all the liquids I drank before going to bed.
Charlotte, I wish you all the best with your surgery next week, and I hope that you have a chance to recover before another crisis hits!
Jazzy, you mentioned perogies in another thread, and that made me realize we hadn't had them for quite some time, so tonight we had perogies with fried onions, smoked oktoberfest sausage, and sauerkraut for supper. Thanks for the inspiration! :-)
Dazed, I am sure there are many quiet silent candiates that are not going verbal! ha. I am good with it til we have a taker! charlotte, sorry for all your crapper issues. it seems to all hit at once sometimes. they say bad things come in '3's. hope your surgery goes as planned.
I am still hesitant every time I use the toilet. I think I have figured out what happened the other day. When I left I told him to water my flowers. We have a 'y' on the faucet - one for the black water flush, other for the water hose (watering plants, washing the car of concrete down). I bet he turned on the black water flush first and when the watering hose did not work he turned the knob for it not turning the other one off thus filling up the tank. So when he went in to use the toilet, when he flush the pressure exploded. Still not sure about when it happened to me cause I did not think it was on but could have been leaking somehow. But makes sense for his problem.
I love the gyn doctor I have. Yesterday in pre-op I told him I watched a video of the procedure so I was asking intelligent question, if he does this or that, etc. I love doctors that are not threatened by someone who has some knowledge (but does not try to think they know more than the doctor). I did find out something I did not know, that for my surgery anyway, the anesthesiologist needs to know the TSH level cause it will affect the anesthesia. I have my stash of pain meds - he let me pick them up yesterday so I won't have to worry after surgery.
I am going to try and find the different anesthesia we talked about here - I know there is one that they are looking at possibly causing problems due to cooling the brain causing brain cells to die - and ask the anesthesiologist about them. Anyone remember them?
Just need to vent. DD is set to graduate high school in two weeks. She is not the best student and the last year has been hard with the passing of her dad. We found out yesterday that she can not go on the senior trip. She missed a test somewhere along the way. I am so mad. All she has had to endure and now this. My DD is taking it in stride. She is not letting it get her down, I asked if she wanted me to look into it for her and she said no. Just one more disappointment for her. She is taking it better than me.
So much change coming my way in the next few months. Older DD is moving with her family five hours away, they are both out of the army now and moving for a job. Their baby is due in Aug and will not be close by. Younger DD (the one above) is getting married in Aug and moving to NM. Her future husband is in the Air Force and who knows where they will end up. So by the end of summer I will be truly alone. Trying hard not to let it get to me. I know so many here have it so much harder. So try to count my blessings.
blue - look at it through a different window. You will have places to go away from where you are now and a reason for the trip. My mom took advantage when my sister's husband was in Germany and Hawaii to go there. She never would have in the past but my sister paid for it since my mom could never afford it. Tell your future son-in-law to put in for duty where you want to go see!! Believe it or not, NM has some great places to go see along with your daughter.