I was trying to find all posts by another poster, which I was unable to accomplish.
Reading a previous topic, there was a post from Jazzy.
The last I read, she was bringing Kevan home for Easter and Easter Monday. I don't know if home was to her apartment or the house where she posted about recently returning.
In any case- Jazzy- hoping you are okay. Please check in.
I did bring Kevan home to my home. Apartment is gone. He was unable to complete any of the jobs he had asked to do. He had nightmares again and he informed me that we could never live together as I was to messy. I just moved so something's had not been put away. He then had to re make his POA as there was a clause in both mine and his that was restrictive for competency. He put a clause that makes it difficult for me to sell the house with out a Dr. Letter declaring him incompetent. I have not talked to him since as he only did it to prove he still has control. He is accusing me if stealing our( his) money and his house. I am now just in contact with him by email.I want everything in print. He is nasty and smart assed in his emails but I only answer questions that he needs to know. Our daughter has seen him being verbally abusive to me and she is concerned. Yesterday I spoke to Kevan's cousins wife on the phone. While we were talking her husband who has the same disease as Kevan came into the room and was looking for an item and I could hear the same tone in his voice as I have heard in Kevan's. This morning I was called by another cousin and told that he went off like a rocket at her and she had to lock herself in the bathroom and call police and an ambulance. He will never go home. He is going to LTC. It was a real wake up call for me not to bring Kevan home as there were no signs that this could happen. It just happened. I spoke to the Social Worker at Kevan's LTC and I will be following their directions as to visits. No more coming home. This is so sad but I have to accept the fact that this is not my Kevan and this one is volatile and has no empathy. I really muss my Kevan and mourn for him and for us, but he is gone and I have to learn to be careful and safe.
Jazzy, how did he revise his DPOA? Was it witnessed by a notary public or some other legal witness? Is he still considered "competent" by a lawyer and/or doctor?
'm not being mean or mean spirited, but why are you responding to his emails?
He is still considered competent and that is the big problem. It was witnessed by a lawyer and witnesses.
I know you are not being mean or anything like that but, I answer his emails because he is my love and I can't not answer. I ignore the bad parts and answer the pertinent parts. Being mean and shutting him out is not in my care plan. He is very sick with a terrible disease that he has no control of so it is my job to find ways to keep me safe but still show him love and care for his needs. He hasn't spoken to me since Monday but when I sent him an email to see if he would like a visitor today he was all excited. So off I go to visit.
Jazzy, I must have been in a funky mood yesterday, sorry for my insensitive comments. Of course you love him and need to do what's best for both of you. Enjoy the visit.
I didn't think you were being insensitive. No apology needed. I went to visit him today and we had a very good visit. He is changing and it is so sad to see. I took my Willy the Yorkie puppy with me and the nurses wanted to see him so Kevan took him out of his carry bag. He kissed everyone. Then two of Kevan's meal table mates were sitting close by and saw Kevan with Willy so he took him over to see them. One of them took him and he kissed her and she was so happy. The other one was so excited she was flapping her hands in the air and giggling so loud I was sure she would wet her pants. Kevan put Willy in her arms and he reached up and gave her a big kiss. She had her arms around him and the joy was just shinning from her. I just about cried. I had left with out Willy today but turned around and went home and brought him with me. Coincidence? I think not. Godincidence?? I know what my choice is.
that is to special. Our pets can touch us where no one else can. Maybe that should be a regular taking him with you. Might keep Kevan in a better mood too.
Jazzy I am sorry you had to deal with that over Easter. I am glad you had a good visit. They do have a special place for animals. My DH doesn't remember a lot of people. But he remember a our daughters dog. He is the unforgettable "Elmer". That's what we call him now.
DH never responded to me the last 13 days of his life; except the day before he died I know he knew who I was because he asked, "Is Millie here" - Millie is our Shih Tzu and was his constant companion. I told him Millie would be here soon and he went back to sleep.
We had lhasa and a Shih tau for thirteen years. The Shih Tzu slept at the foot of Kevan's bed for years. When Kevan started to have the violent night terrors the little guy then slept on the floor beside his bed. The Shih Tzu died a year ago last Nov and the Lhasa who had continued to love Kevan died last May. Kevan refused to let me have another dog and I really missed my Lhasa. He was furious when I hot Willy but now he loves him and shows him off to anyone. I will take him to visit when I go as it helps keep him calm and off my back. He was very agitated last night so I hope he is having a better day today. Dogs and cats seem to have a lovely calming effect on the residents.