Since December of this year my husband in assisted living has had an episode of vomiting/sickness once a month. It's always on the weekend and always in the morning. I have been marking these events on the calendar and there seems to be a pattern. I'm considering getting a nanny cam for the weekend night shift as it seems to always happen when one particular caregiver works. How could this have an effect do you suppose?
There are NO SUCH things as Coincidence. Get the nanny cam or get a roster of who is working on the weekend, mainly Friday night and Saturday night. IF not a cam place a voice activated recorder in the room. Have you spoken with any other family member who have loved one in adjoining rooms to see if their loved ones are having the same issues??
jules, if you're keeping notes and see a pattern, then probably something is going on. Could it be food related - does he get served the same type of food on those days he's vomiting? Is there a different person cooking meals on weekends than week days? Of course it could be related to the particular caregiver you're concerned about. (S)he could be giving your husband something his stomach doesn't tolerate well..perhaps a homemade cookie or something like that, a beverage he doesn't usually drink. Have you spoken with the caregiver about your observations and asked him/her what they think could be causing the distress? At least it would signal to them that you're watching and keeping track in case they are doing something they shouldn't be.
Great ideas. Jules, I would alert the "charge" people whoever they are. I would meet in person rather than phone or email. I would spell out exactly what you have here. All patterns are suspicious and need to be investigated.
I believe that in most places they have a 28 day menu that they rotate. Check and see what was served the day before he got sick.
Don't make your first thought "the staff is doing something wrong". Most care aids are really caring people and want the very best for your love one and also this is your LO's home now and you don't want any bad vibes there. Yes sometimes there is a "bad" one out there but if you have one bad apple in a box do you throw out the whole box.
Do the nanny cam as a last resort, if the staff find out you are doing that....and it is your right....they are human and the spontaneous fun interaction with hubby will stop. It will be business and professional interactions only in case the family misinterpret what is going on. Plus their open interaction with you will stop they will send you to talk to the head nurse only because they will be worried, because they know you don't trust them, that something they say you would take it the wrong way and they could lose their job.
The simplest answer is often the most likely. It's not likely at all that some person is going in once a month and doing something hard to understand to make the person sick and vomit the next day. It's a thousand times more likely that they tend to serve something once a month on the weekend and your husband isn't tolerating it.
Discuss it with the nutrionist. There's a written food plan somewhere because they are running a business and this should also be recorded with the nurse/manager.
It's understandable that people with a loved one in a home are suspicious. It's part of advocation. We have to watch but if this has been happening since December and it has not been communicated to the staff - then you're not working with them to solve problems and isn't that the real objective?
First of all shifts would tend to be regular so the same person is likely often there. Secondly it's quite a stretch to think someone is giving them something on purpose to make them vomit. If that were reported to managment they would immediately zone in on the menu. But it's happened three times over three months and it's obvious they're aware he's vomited but it's only you at this point that has spotted the rhythm.
It's going to be the food eight times out of ten and it's going to be purposeful abuse less than one time in a thousand. I wouldn't spy on them. I would work with them.
Thanks all, very good input all around. Yes, I have discussed the pattern with all the staff and management and I haven't accused anyone of doing anything wrong. I have asked that they make notation on the calendar in his room and I also make notes on it where everyone can see what has occurred. I ask their opinion of what they think might be happening different. We have gone back through the foods eaten each time to see if anything for the previous 24 hours has been suspect. We changed the time of him getting his morning pill to after/during breakfast so he will have food in his stomach. I even switched one of his medications that was in a liquid form because of swallowing issues back to a tablet thinking maybe when we got the new each month it was maybe stronger than the last of the old due to shaking or non shaking/mixing.
I have been very aware that any kind of suggestion of someone doing anything wrong makes for dissatisfied, disgruntled care people and I never want him to be a target or neglected because of my mouth or my imagination running on overtime.
My first thought was TIA's or seizures or just progression of the disease. It's just on such a regular cycle I even thought of full moon but that didn't pan out.
There is, in fact, one bad apple that creates disturbance for everyone. She happens to work every Sat night shift. Everyone complains about her, residents and other staff members. She is brusk, moves too quickly and abruptly, shoving things at people like glasses of water too rapidly to their mouths, loud, bossy, demanding. The tone of the whole facility changes as soon as she bowls into the place. I did make one comment to the owner after she asked my opinion of this worker that I thought this person needed to handle people a little less forcefully. Perhaps it is easier for my exhausted brain to imagine this person being the cause because I don't care for her.
It still could be food. I don't know everything that he might be intolerant of but I know he gets seasonal allergy and sinus drainage could account for the most recent.
I think I will not resort to a nanny cam. Thanks again for your valuable input.
Since you have narrowed the person who is on duty when this occurs, I would go directly to the owner with the calendar. I would not suspect that it is food, but that is something that she is giving him to make his sleep, or be more compliant with her wishes.ie,sedatives, or alcohol,or even threats, but I would not suspect food at all. As I said there no coinsidences (retired from law enforcement, ask me how I have come to this mantra!!) I would certainly report it ASAP.
If you do not know for sure then do not accuse someone. I have been on the receiving end of a false accusation and had management, staff, families everyone back me because nothing happened! It was that parent issues that had nothing to do with me. I cannot begin to tell you how devastated I was being falsely accused and I never go near that patient again. If she needs something I call another staff to deal with her. So now when patient (female) that comes to me wanting assurance I have to turn and leave. I can't afford to nor will I allow a patient family to ruin my career. Plus if it had gone on to the next level I would of got a lawyer and gone after the family. Staff have rights too.
Jules, first let me say I am sorry to hear your husband is having these episodes. Poor bugger :( where it involves vomiting I do tend to agree with the majority here who feel it is something he has consumed, be it food or medication. If it were something other than vomiting, say bruising for example, I would be more likely to suspect your "bad apple".
That being said, there are indeed bad people in this world and in the 5 years I have had Lynn in a facility I helped get one nurse fired. (1 out of the hundreds who have worked there) I reported what I saw her do to another resident, when she didn't know I was across the hall, and the staff did back me up. It took a lot of courage for them as she had some power there and had threatened them. I demanded she not be allowed anywhere near Lynn. Even with that assurance I still never left him alone if she was on until she was fired. (which didn't take long!)
I share that because yes it could happen.... but where you said she works every Saturday night shift, one would have to question why it is then that your husband has one episode of getting sick in a months span.
Another thing I would like to point out is it is not always legal to place a hidden camera. When I was worried about the nurse I contacted the police and they told me I could be fined and even jailed if I used one and someone found out! It isn't the same as having one in your own home. We do not own the facility. There was also a clause about not being able to use them in areas where privacy is expected, such as bedrooms and bathrooms. (which is where I would have needed the cam) I am sure there are federal regulations and I know the officer was reading to me from our state regulation guidelines. (which I am sure is different with each state)
It has been my experience that the facility where Lynn is goes above and beyond to try to figure out mystery symptoms. There was one resident who seemed to get sick on Mondays and they just couldn't figure out why. They did daily reports on her food and medication and still couldn't figure out what it could possibly be. Turns out on the weekend they serve eggs for breakfast both days and at night she opted for Quiche and she had developed a sensitivity to eggs.
Another lady kept getting this rash/hives. I am close to the couple and the husband and the facility worked diligently to try to figure out what it could possibly be. He did this whole spreadsheet and kept immaculate records. Their first thoughts were of course food or medication reaction. It took them about 2 months to figure out that it was actually from the shampoo they were using on bath night. The shampoo would run down her back and arms and that is why she got the hives there.
Why your husband is getting sick on a monthly basis is perplexing. You have worked hard at trying to figure it out and should be commended. The calendar in his room is a good idea! Keep working at it, I have confidence that you will eventually figure out what is causing this.
I talked to one of the cooks today and asked for her opinion. She doesn't cook on the weekends but she does the menu. She said they always have cereal with milk one day, most of the time Sunday. I don't think he is intolerant of milk but perhaps he has developed an intolerance. She said we could one day this week give him cereal with milk to check so we will do an experiment later in the week. They have french toast and cream of wheat planned tomorrow and the next day which he likes so I don't want to do it on those days. It's a mystery like the show "House" where they need all the facts before they can figure it out. Still if it only happens once a month we are probably doing better than most so perhaps we will just go with the flow. Thanks everyone for your good comments. I appreciate it so much.
Such a great discussion. I wanted to add when I used the word "suspicious" I did not mean anything untoward. Simply something needs further investigation re cause and effect of this regular pattern.
When this kind of thing happens with my husband, I alert the director of care, and she and the team with me help figure out what is going on.
Having noted that, there was one care aid and whenever he was on, my husband was more agitated and believed this man was stealing and being inappropriate with women residents. I did not learn the reason but the care aid was recently fired.
As we know there can be bad apples and good on you Nikki reporting that behaviour!!
Sounds like you are doing a great job jules following up. Keep us posted please as I am most interested in what you find out. We all learn from these experiences.
jules, what are the odds that milk is only served one weekend a month and it just happens to be the weekend that this bad apple is working??? NONE... be diligent, bullies and persons who prey on the weak and ill count on us to the "fair" to them and "protect their rights" HA HA that is how they continue their nonsense for so long. They are usually allowed to resign instead of being fired and they usually go on to another facility b/c their is no record of their dirty deeds. Just saying....be diligent, your instincts are usually point on!!! Amber so sorry that you had a bad experience but it sounds like you handled it with grace and moved on.
I know milk seems farfetched but I want to keep them on their toes thinking about it and also know that I'm not going to let it go. My sister had another thought: she wondered if it is always the same day shift gal who likes the fact that I come running to take care of him when they call to say he threw up. This is a new thought that perhaps she is exaggerating or even making it up as I haven't seen him throw up and it has been the same gal twice that I can remember. Another thing to make note of. ( Maybe I'm watching too much Wallander on tv.) Thanks for the input.
If it just might be this one gal playing with you, I see two options: when she calls don't go. Or the day you think it might be show up early and watch her with him. Could also be she upsets him to the point where he gets so agitated he throws up.
Jules, I agree, she could be really agitating/upsetting your husband to the point where he throws up. I would make sure you eliminate the other issues one by one before pursuing this lead.
I guess this thread for me may be unnecessary anymore as my husband fell Saturday and broke his other hip. (Broken hip on the left two years ago, now on the right.) Even so in my research we found it may have been something called a vasovagal response. If you look it up it sounds very much like what has been happening and he may have had more episodes without the throwing up.
Anyway we have spent since yesterday morning in hospital with plan for surgery on wed to replace half a hip. (the ball part) The options were do nothing and he would go downhill and most likely pass two weeks to two months from pneumonia or uti. Do the surgery with a 30% chance of not making it more than that or perhaps a year depending on variables. Or, all things being perfect, he heals nicely and survives to be taken out by the Alzheimers progression eventually. Decision to do nothing was not acceptable even though the doctors were leaning in that direction. ER doc said there was no wrong decision in this case, thus giving me an out without judgement should I decide to just take him home.
"There is no wrong decision" but there is no easy, obvious decision either with this (expletive) disease.
jules, I am so sorry you and your husband are going through such tough times right now. Sending loving thoughts and prayers your way.
The doctor is right, there is no wrong decision, and yes, we are forced to make the hard decisions with this illness. Just another burden we bear as loving caregivers. Personally I've decided to opt for treatment for my husband (should he need it) if his current quality of life is good and he could recover from the treatment with the same or better quality of life. Of course, that's very subjective and of course the decisions would depend on the type of treatment, prognosis, etc.
JULES - I so sorry your hubby has had another bad fall. The only thing I have to offer is...what would he want? Let that be your guide and never mind anyone else.
So sorry that you are facing yet another trial. I agree with Amber, what would he want...or I you were in his shoes what would you want. Arms around you.
jules so sorry to hear of his fall. I wanted to add my DH has also the vasovagal issues. they tend to strain when seated and indeed it can cause what appears to mimic cardia or stroke issues. and mine sweats and blood pressure can go up or down rapidly. a wet cold rag on back of neck will help calm it down for us. he also has had the vomiting and drool at times. I should have mentioned this prior as mine as been experiencing this for some time now. it goes away on its own after he is more relaxed. so weird ! hope you find whats right for you both. best of luck divvi
Divvi, thank you for your input. Very cool to hear someone else experiences something similar. We can perhaps address that idea with the doctor while we are in the hospital anyway.
He had surgery this morning and by golly, he did great! We had him stand a while ago and he even ate dinner. So tomorrow he will start some therapy and we will take one day at a time.
that's great jules! happy to hear hes doing so well. when the issues happened due to the straining issues, I went thru a lot of hoopla to finally come to the conclusion with the dr that it was probably the vasovagal issue. mine doesn't seem to have it when hes regular on bowel movements and not constipated due to dehydration. so you may want to address this with his dr for sure.