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    • CommentAuthorJazzy
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2014
     
    My DH has changed since they put the stent in. He is far more calm and compliant. Never explodes just accepts that things will be taken care of if he reports it.

    He is telling me he now feels like he is in a prison and that he has no one to talk to at LTC as he is far higher functioning then anyone else. I asked the Ward nurse what was going on with him and she agrees that he is higher functioning and less aggressive.

    I am bringing him home for Easter from Saturday to Monday and I hope things will go well.

    This is so strange as he has quite a bit if memory loss but is calmer and just wants to be with me now.
    I expect that this phase will not last but it is so confusing and hard to understand what has changed.
    He was happy to go out to MacDonalds for coffee everyday but refuses to go to the coffee shop at LTC as he says there is no one to talk to at his level.

    I don't know what to do to help him get out as he refuses to have set times for outings and says the walkers are just teenagers or young adults and with his short term memory loss he has nothing in common to talk about with them.

    I read all your difficulties and think WOW I am so lucky right now that I don't have all of that. Mine was aggressive and verbally abusive but no poop to clean up or other things your going through. He decided to go to LTC on his own and assures me we can't live together anymore but is now unhappy in LTC and I just don't know what to do.

    He has given me control of finances now so that part is good, but what do I do about thus new problem??

    Hugs

    Jazzy
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2014
     
    Jazzy, I don't know enough about heart issues to say whether there is any connection between your LO's prior behavior, his stent, and his current behavior. Others more knowledgeable may comment on that, but I wonder if increased oxygen levels to the brain because of the better blood flow through the heart be the reason that his aggression has diminished?
    I do know that now that the nicer weather is (slowly) arriving, my DH is more restless and anxious to be out. He is still compliant, but I he is acting as if he is feeling "imprisoned" in the house. So I wonder if that is why your LO is feeling imprisoned in the LTC now, when he didn't feel that way before. And if your LO refuses to go on scheduled outings, then he is not really compliant, he is just being aggressive (resistant) in a less harmful way, isn't he?
    I wish you all the best this weekend and hope that all goes well with having your DH at home.

    Hugs
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2014
     
    I agree with bdq that increased oxygen from the stents may have helped. but either way if he has diagnosed dementia hes going to lose ground. his aggressiveness in the past you have put here and verbal abuse may not have gone away but on the backburner til something sets him off. why I would wonder you want to rock the boat so to speak and bring him home. hes adjusting it seems and even though hes more cognitive and a bit less abusive now he should be able to blend in at this point. if you keep giving him outs to come home and he knows you will come get him if he complains he will not try harder to make a go of it. but that's just my opinion. it is difficult to see them functioning on a fair basis but know sooner than later he will decline so its good to have him adjusted to his life style now.
    at any rate, if you take him out of the facility hoping he behaves and you don't have any problems. remember sometimes change of scenery can make them ansy -so be prepared just in case. good luck
    divvi