I had to go get my DH after just one hr at daycare today. They called and said he was very agitated, wanted to go home. And when they blocked the door he knocked a couple of them out of the way. No one really hurt. He's been calm since we got home. I called his dr and asked for some stronger meds.i have noticed he is more agitated if I try to hurry him in any way.
It surely has to be fear, Ky caregiver. My DH has admitted a few times that he's so afraid. Sometimes he just shakes. In the LTC I've noticed that he's very agitated when they rush to toilet or bathe him. Previously he was a strong person. What meds is your DH on? I hope you can find something to help him (and you).
Do check for an UTI or any physical discomfort, that will change behavior. The behavior could be from dementia progression but there can be another cause.
My wife hates being "rushed." I put that in quotes because I might simply say we need to leave in 15 minutes and she will say that I am rushing her. I've learned to avoid getting her to move to the next item and accept that we might be late, and we might even miss the doctor's appointment.
My DH was also agitated at bathing and changing time. I finally convinced staff to try letting only one CNA perform the tasks. It worked. I always thought that if three people started pulling at my clothes to undress me I would feel like I was being attacked. I believed somewhere in his inner brain he was only trying to defend himself. I could not see that three CNA's doing the job in five minutes was any more efficient than one CNA taking fifteen minutes and it was much less stressful for him. I know it might not work for any other ALZ patient as they are all different. Ky caregiver I do hope you can find a calming solution with the daycare. I know you need the break. My main complaint is that I do not feel like the CNA's are given proper training in caring for ALZ patients. I just want them to treat them with dignity and calmness, but they usually just get agitated themselves. No common sense. It's as if When DH gets agitated they just pour fuel on fire to make it so much worse. Good luck, Ky caregiver. Sending a big ((((hug)) your way.
AliM, my experience in the few stays DH has had with CNAs/HHA's is MOST of them are not properly trained and educated in how to handle/approach a person with dementia, even those who work in dementia facilities. To be fair, often they have too many patients to handle in the schedules they have because most NH's & ALF's are understaffed. Hey, I get agitated when my husband is being difficult when I'm trying to do something good for him and help him (and I love him) so I can imagine it's frustrating for someone who has 7-8 people they have to care for who are all difficult. I'm not making excuses for the CNA's/HHA's because we are paying the facility to have experienced and educated caregivers for our spouses to ensure their safety and well-being.
Right now we have a live-in HHA caring for my husband who is experienced with dementia patients. However I cringe when he takes vacation because I know the substitute aide will most likely be inexperienced. When I complained to the owner of the Home Healthcare Agency and told him I wanted to know in advance of the substitute aide's qualifications, his response was "If I told you we were sending someone with little or no experience caring for someone with dementia, you wouldn't take them, would you?". The management is also part of the problem.
LFL, Since most facilities are for profit businesses, I think management is the major part of the problem. Since management does nothing to address the need for special training with ALZ patients I would like to see state and federal regulations that make it mandatory. Also fewer ALZ patients per CNA should be mandatory. I feel like CNA's do the majority of the personal care and should be paid more. Not all are suited for this line of work. IMHO If they cannot be patient for an eight hour shift they are working in the wrong place. I do not believe very many 24/7 caregivers never get agitated. For the precious few that can always remain calm, I admire you. I shall leave my wish list for more staff and better training at NH's and ALF's for the Easter Bunny to pick up since it is only in my dreams! Happy Easter! Ky caregiver, I hope your DH is remaining calm and that you have a peaceful Easter Sunday.
I will also agree that management are the key. Poor management will not solve the problems. And often managers are hamstrung by HQ.
But it is not just the CNA's on the front line. All staff needs to understand that their rolls are important. When my wife wants a new towel, she needs one quickly, and it is up to housekeeping (she had to wait 4 hours today for said towel, after I complained and she had made multiple requests). Also having the cleaning people show up the same time all of the time. I don't think housecleaning staff are pointed out how much quick response and regular schedules help many residents.
KY caregiver, what are your options if he is banned from the day care. You have mentioned that your are looking for a placement, how is that going. Do not wait until you get hurt. Arms around you, hope this passes quickly and he gets back to what is normal for him.
Update: my DH went back to daycare today and everything went well.i instructed them to not try to reason with him or block his way. He wouldn't leave when hr got out and couldn't find his car. Also told them to call me, so for now daycare is a go. It was actually a pt that was blocking door.im just glad no one was hurt. My DH doesn't want any criticism or the word no. I abide by those rules for time being. I have to. Thanks for your comments!