Hi I'm new here. I have so many things to ask but the main one is this. We put mother into an assisted living facility on Feb. 2014. Of course we have huge guilt for it. Wondering whether we did the right thing but it seems that mother has gone down hill in a big way. She has lost a tremendous amount of weight, she trembles, she walks in slow motion like she is afraid that she is going to fall. She moves from the bed to the chair to the couch non-stop. Can all of these things be happening because of transition? We are at a loss. All alzheimer's people are different so its truly hard to put her in the box that "its just the progression of the disease" because she wasn't this bad at her home. Any ideas? Or did any of you experience something like this? Thanks, Joni
Everyone says that if you place your LO they will die within a year. But you are placing them because they are getting worse at home. My guess with your Mom it is natural progression. I noticed with my DH ,even at home,he would plateau then significantly spiral downward.I see the same thing since he entered the NH.Tough to see.
This is likely to be part of the progression. She was doing worse so you placed her in an ALF and the getting worse continues.
There can be a temporary worsening of symptoms after placement. They are in a new situation and adjusting can be tough. So she may show some improvement later.
But you never know. Some people get worse. Others do better after placement. It is impossible to predict.
Do check and make sure that she does not have a UTI or other infection.
"Everyone says that if you place your LO they will die within a year. " I never heard that one before.
Well, my DH and I are entering a different route. I was seriously considering a NH for him. I was so sad. I wanted him home but didn't know any available people I could hire but a friend of mine, whom I trust, works at the hospital and knew they were cutting back on the CNA's hours. She immediately started calling the very best, trustworthy, caring CNA's there and within one day we had rounded up some nighttime CNA's. I'm moving my DH to another room in our house that is plenty large enough for things he and the CNA might need during the night. They will work 12 hour P.M. shifts. It is still cheaper than a NH and he's still at home. I don't know how he will react to not being in the room with me, but I'm right there in the next room if he needs me and will immediately go to him.
Carolyn. Do u provide all the care in the daytime. Just wondering. I too am considering placement. I am so burned out. I'm hoping the warm weather and sunshine help me tremendously. I am taking him to daycare more but I still am very impatient and don't want to be like that with him.
Can't say what happened to your mom. Maybe you should consider bringing her back to your home... From my experience I can say that when we put our grandmother to Luvida Memory Care, she didn't react like this... She is happy with her stay... It might be the transition or your mother might be emotionally hurt.
We place our LOs into LTC because they are doing worse, so it isn't unusual for them to continual going downhill. Sometimes the decline can be coincidence.
When we move our LOs they are losing their familiar surroundings and we may see them do worse. A friend of mine's husband had his ADLs until after the move. She realized that he was doing worse before the move than she realized, he was close to losing his ADLs, and he was only hanging on to them due to familiarity. So he last his ADLs after the move but it wasn't that he got worse, but rather the move removed familiarity and he probably would have lost his ADLs very shortly if he remained at home.
There is an adjustment period. Moving is traumatic. You have to see if the LO bounces back.
I would want to know that the LTC facility is providing a structured environment. My wife's first ALF failed this on a number of accounts. We saw improvement at the new one after a few days (this could also be from med changes that were made).
It is very hard to know what causes changes in our LOs.