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  1.  
    I searched for this and found one on "anxiety in caregivers medication". It was very helpful. But I was wondering if anyone here can tell me what they were feeling when they started having anxiety to the extreme. I recently had to go to urgent care a and she gave me Prilosex for reflux and a medication for anxiety. I have taken it 2 times now, the anxiety medication. I did wake up when DH got out of bed, but he had been up for a little while before I did. Usually I wake up right away. I do not know what he would do if I did not wake up and catch him. So I don't know if I am worried about him leaving the room or house or getting into something is even valid.

    We had an Ice storm 2 weeks in a row. I have been taking care of DH 24/7 anyway. But I started getting jaw pain and chest pain and burning a week ago. My daughter said I sounded like I had PTSD on the phone. Our power went out so we went to my mom and dad's. My sister and her husband and son came too. Their power was out. On the way back home from 2 days there, I called my sister to take me to the doctor. I could not handle it any longer. A lot of things happened with his family at the time. It is a long story.

    I am still having these feelings. I was going to have my cabinets redone and scheduled it and everything. It kept coming to mind, do I really need to do this? The idea of the house being out of order for a week with DH. I have trouble getting going on project that I want to do. I have always been a never sit down person. I have always done things and finished them quickly. Now I cannot get started on anything. I hate making all the decisions in the house. It is a feeling of turmoil when I have to do something.
  2.  
    Jackiem, it sounds like you have some depression along with your anxiety which I have experienced also during various phases of my life, including caregiving. I was prescribed Paxil which has helped me a great deal. Everyone reacts differently to anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds; so it's best to see a professional...perhaps your primary doctor, or he (she) may rec a psychiatrist to see.
    • CommentAuthorAdmin
    • CommentTimeFeb 20th 2014
     
    Jackiem,

    I have been where you are, and am still struggling with anxiety and depression, but medication has helped me. If you have a primary doctor who is familiar with your situation, my suggestion would be to do as I did. Sit down with him/her and explain the situation. He/she should be able to help you with medication and perhaps, as bella mentioned, steer you in the direction of a good psychiatrist or psychologist who may be able to help you with coping strategies. My primary has treated both Sid and me, is familiar with our situations, and right from the beginning has been very concerned and helpful with my mental and emotional well being.

    joang
  3.  
    Jackiem,
    You did not mention what your doctor put you on for controlling anxiety. If it was a benzo, such as Atavan or Valium, be careful as they are habit forming and coming off of them is not easy.
    I can tell you my experience and maybe it will give you some insight into your situation.
    I began taking care of my husband in 2000 following hip replacement surgeries. As time went along, in 2005 he had a 3way bypass and then even more trouble began with increasing cardiac issues along with his diabetes and DX of dementia of the AD type. At first I thought I could whip the world and take care of him on my own, after all he was a very pleasant and sweet man, always wanting to do his share, which he did.
    Eventually his cardio team was starting to ask how I was doing...I said fine...they deferred and finally one of the nurses started talking placement or in home help etc....I didn't listen. Later his primary doc gave me a ref for a therapist, but what did I need someone who was not a care giver for??? Finally I started to feel funky, like my BP was too high or something. I found a new doc just for me...and she first put me on the Valium, very small dose..I only took 1 mg a day but as time went on I wanted the other half. Never took it though. My script was for a 2mg tab once or twice a day as needed.
    Fast forward to a visit last year in Jan2013, with my husband at his neurology appt. His doc asked him how he was doing and he gave his answer to which the doc asked me if I agreed. I said yes but " I am not doing so well..." He asked questions and told me to make an appt to see him because he could help with the migraines I was starting to have along with anxiety. HE DID NOT WANT ME TO CONTINUE WITH VALIUM....habit forming.
    I credit the neurologist for saving my life..he gave me a DX of clinical depression and started me on Sertraline ( Zoloft). Going on this saved my life. Whereas before I was like you described, on the go, get things done before, the world had gotten away from me( now to the tune of 8 years and I am having to shovel through it all now), I was tired, not cranky really or resentful of anything, but tired, worried, stressed, and no time for me. This whole thing was a slow creep and we don't even see it coming. Too often our friends won't say anything either. I know this because as the medication began to take effect others said I was calmer etc.
    My husband died suddenly of cardiac arrest. Despite his health issues, death was not expected.
    I spoke to the neurologist, who still follows me up with regard to migraine, and asked him what illness he said I would suffer and recovery would be difficult..very difficult. I asked if it was PTSD. He said I would have ended up in a deep depression.
    In the end, when my husband died, I was able to cope with all of the details and all the estate issues. Yes I miss him more than words can say but though it is only now 6 months ago that I lost him, I can see and understand just what he would have faced going forward if he had survived the cardiac arrest. I don't know that I would have been able to cope with anything had I not got the medical help. Additionally, I was seeing a counselor before he died just to have someone help me with insight on coping with all that was on my plate and I still see her about once a month.
    I was stressed and getting sick too and didn't see it coming. Now I can cope but I did develop some health issues regarding muscle strains for which I have been in PT..so the caregiving issues cost us and sometimes we won't find out until that journey is over and we are forced to pay attention to ourselves..Our own body starts to scream...when is it my turn!! If it were only as simple as a new hair cut or manicure! sigh...
    So the bottom line is see YOUR doctor regularly and if a med is suggested such as an anti depressant such as Zoloft or Lexapro or some other brand, and if it doesn't work keep working with your doctor. It has been said more times by more people on these boards...YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TO! And how often we don't listen only to find ourselves later chanting that same message...
    Arms Around and I hope you start to feel better soon..and by all means stay on these boards because you will get more sage advice here than anywhere else...listen to the veterans and the ones of us with the * cuz we are just a bit ahead of you in this journey.
    Blessings and Peace..
  4.  
    Mimi
    My doctor gave me buspirone HCL 7.5 mg. I am taking half at night and half in the morning. If I need more I will increase to a whole each time. It did make a difference today. I can so relate, I had the feeling my BP was off. I have a really low BP. The doctor said mine was normal but higher than my usual. I only worry because my DH has been up 2 times at night and I did not hear him right away. I did not want anything habit forming or strong. I have never taken medication before. Well, you know cold medicine or Tylenol. I am very small and have lost more weight. I am hoping the priloscet will help my appitie.

    I have contacted our LTC and am working on help during the week. I am very blessed to have this policy. It pays well for in home care and eventually NH care. I know that is in the near future. Someone said here never promise not to place them. Wish I had read that a long time ago. I am only 52, was in good health, and thought I would be able to handle this. I was wrong. I mean I handled ex wife and step children for 30 years how much harder could this be. Boy was I wrong. And believe me the ex wife is a dozzie. She is no longer an issue sine the kids are grown.

    I am going to go every Tuesday and spend the day with my grandson. He is 3 months old. Of course I think he is the most adorable in the world. It is the best medicine.

    Joang
    In the beginning I did see a psychiatrist. I do not know why I stopped. I will start that again too. I know from reading your blog and the post here, it will get worse when placement and the end cone and after with the *. I know I cannot do this alone.

    Thanks I will listen this time.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeFeb 20th 2014
     
    jackie - others have talked of putting something across the door to make noise when they leave or even an alarm on the bed if they get up. You might consider something that makes noise to wake you and allow you to continue the medication that helps you.
  5.  
    Jackie: My primary prescribed Ativan (Lorazepam) for me. The same med my DW was on for Sun Downing. She on a significantly higher dose. I found it relieved my anxiety and did not inhibit my ability to carry out all the requisite duties of caregiving. No sleepy side effects or anything. Additionally, the med was a great help getting thru the first weeks after her passing. Thankfully no longer necessary
  6.  
    Jackiem29 - carefully consider your need to get your cabinets done now. People with AD have a hard time with such things, not only will he be in everyone's way, but such changes in their life is unsettling, it's best to keep things as they are and your home as calm as possible. Your natural need to get things done quickly is just one more change you will have to make in your caregiving of someone with AD, it will be temporary and right now you don't need any more chaos. If you seem unable to get started on anything, that's your inner voice telling you to chill, it will be OK, everything will still be done in due time. Listen, your body knows what it needs.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 5th 2014 edited
     
    I would like some advice on whether to accept a friend's invitation to go to the beach next weekend. The problem is that I get very anxious every time I think of going. Everyone I know says I should go and that it would be good for me. My friend's house is on Cape Cod, about 2½ - 3 hour drive from here. There would be four of us women going, all former coworkers and now friends who have known each other for 15-20 years. They all know the details of my husband's illness (and I know the details of their issues, too.)

    Some of my anxiety might be due to the thought of leaving my husband for a few days. He has been in LTC for 4 months. But my sister will visit him on Saturday and our home health aide will visit him on Sunday. He will not evenn know I am gone. I really think that most of my anxiety is caused by the fact that because of his illness, I have not spent a night away from our house since 2011. So I am afraid to leave home overnight. Has anyone ever experienced this?
  7.  
    I had an emergency surgery while DH had AD, was forced to be in hospital several days. Fortunately my adult son lived nearby and was able to stay with him and everything was OK. So pretend it's an emergency--which it really is--you need the respite, and if someone is with him, he'll be OK. Is there someone, can the aide stay overnight? Altho, I must say, a hospital stay was not respite for me!
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 5th 2014
     
    Bettyhere*, I forgot to say that my husband has been in LTC for four months now. I visit him 6 days per week and our home health aide visits him on Sundays. He would not even know I was gone.

    I'm going to edit my original post to add this info.
  8.  
    My suggestion would be that you give the Home, your sister and the home health aide your cell phone number. They can always reach you, and you could get back in a hurry if something happens (which it probably won’t). In the meantime, you can get out and spend time away from all the worry and stress you have been going through. Hope it works out for you. You deserve this.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 5th 2014
     
    I second going. You deserve it. You are still close enough to get back if something should happen. So GO and enjoy yourself.
    • CommentAuthorAliM
    • CommentTimeOct 5th 2014
     
    myrtle, Pack that luggage and go for it. Since you are leaving two people you trust to visit him I'm sure they will get in touch with you if needed. I hope you ladies have a ton of fun.
  9.  
    He's in LTC? Then go-go-go. Whether you stay or go, what will be, will be. You don't have the power to control anything by going, staying or thinking about it. You just have a bad case of guilt. Your next post better be about your going!
  10.  
    Since he is in LTC, and you have people who can keep an eye on what is going on…and you will only be 2 1/2 to 3 hours away..I would go, if you want to go. If it is your own personal choice that you don't feel like it or don't want to for some reason…(don't like the people, not your kind of vacay, hate the Cape…whatever)…then of course, don't go. But don't not go because you feel guilty about leaving DH in LTC and taking a break. As someone said above, make sure everybody caring for or monitoring DH has your cell phone number. Prior to moving to the Heartland, DD and s-i-l had a house on the Cape, and cell phone reception up there was fine. (Make sure to eat lots of seafood, go to the beach to watch sunsets on the bay side, and buy some fudge.)
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2014
     
    OK. I decided to go. Especially since Bettyhere* ordered me that my next post had to say I was going! Thank you all for your advice. You're right.

    I think everyone is misunderstanding the reason for my craziness, though. It's not so much worry about my husband as it is my fear of leaving home overnight. My house has been my sanctuary while all this AD stuff has been swirling around me. I feel like it's the last stable thing I have left. And added to that, I have not spent one night away from home in three years. So I guess I have developed a phobia about being away even for a short time. But everything you said about my husband also applies to leaving my house. I'm going to ask my next door neighbor to keep an eye in it while I'm gone.
    • CommentAuthorLFL
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2014
     
    myrtle, you'll do fine. The first step is the most difficult. Take your first step in the brave new world. It's worth it. You're worth it.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2014
     
    What better way than to go with 3 other women (vs alone) who know where you are at, will understand and help you to enjoy yourself.
  11.  
    Myrtle, I see what you mean now. I find that I am doing the same thing. Now that DH is gone, and I can get out and go anywhere I want…I just want to stay home. As you said, the house seems like a sanctuary, and I am just not ready to get on planes and trains. I'm not sure why not--I always thought that when DH finally went, I would be out of here like a shot…to Manhattan, to Montreal, to Europe. And you know what? I just don't feel like it. Weird.
    • CommentAuthorxox
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2014
     
    This is a chance to go away with friends and not by yourself, that should help with your nervousness. Thing is, you are leaving the security of your routine. Caregiving is often traumatic and it isn't easy to just take off.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2014
     
    paul - your statement: you are leaving the security of your routine.

    that hit a spot - are we becoming like our AD spouses who do not want to 'leave the security of their routine"?
  12.  
    Yes, Charlotte, that does happen to some of us.
  13.  
    And I think staying home, whether they are here or not, makes us feel closer to them.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 13th 2014 edited
     
    Hi Everyone, Thanks for your advice about whether I should go to the beach for the weekend. My friends practically had to drag me out of the house on Friday afternoon but an hour into the drive I was already having a good time. Slept late both mornings and went to seafood restaurants at night. On Saturday it rained, so we went to junk/consignment/antique shops and on Sunday, which was beautiful, we took a tour of an old windmill, drove around a couple of pretty neighborhoods, and sat on benches at the beach and watched the sun sparkle on the ocean. The turning point for me, though, was Saturday night, when we stayed up until 1:00 a.m., playing charades. I laughed more than I have in many, many years.

    Thank you all so much for urging me to go. Not only did I have a great time, but getting away gave me some much-needed perspective. I wish I could give each and every one of you a weekend like the one I just had.
  14.  
    So glad you had this break, Myrtle. Sounds like it was much needed. Wishing you the best!
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 13th 2014
     
    Great news laughter is good medicine.

    Did you know a good hearty laugh exercises every major organ in the body? That is one reason it is good medicine.
    • CommentAuthorAliM
    • CommentTimeOct 13th 2014
     
    myrtle, Shopping, seafood, charades and seeing the sun over the ocean sounds like a wonderful way to spend the weekend. So glad you had a good time and when the opportunity arises, go again!