My husband has more physical problems from Parkinson's than cognitive impairment and has reached the point where he is in a wheelchair and needs help with every transfer. He had been saying he would refuse to move to a nursing home, but confronted with the possibility that he could get a single room at the nursing home we know best, he has agreed to go, probably the week after next. Someone I don't know well posted on Facebook about the snow here and added " I can remember when this would have been a several bottles of wine and a carton of cigarettes storm. I will save the latter for my drive to 'the home.' LOL!" Someone else replied: "OH yes, my drive to the home has been planned that way for many years...cigarettes, wine, brownies. Not necessarily in that order. And, the brownies might have value-added ingredients."
Their joking sparked an idea in my head. Is there something I can do to mark my husband's move to the nursing home? He hates having to go, so I don't think the equivalent of a housewarming party is appropriate. He definitely would say he does not want to make friends there (mixed dementia and non-dementia population). He isn't big on flowers. I feel awfully lucky that he agreed, and I know most of you don't have that luxury. But even if you had to leave your spouse without them understanding, did you do some kind of a ritual for you? My intuition is telling me strongly it is time to do this, so I think that will temper my sadness.
I'm half tempted to ask all his friends to carry one box each from our house to the nursing home (about 10 minutes) so they all show up there, but it probably would be better to arrange to have them bring him lunch over the next week. Maybe I can at least make him a plate of chocolate covered strawberries.
On the first day maybe have his friends and family come and visit him throughout the day....space it out. This way he won't feel like he has been dropped off and abandoned. Then after a week or less take him out for lunch or... and have friends and family meet you there. Show him life will change but he isn't being forgotten....I think that's one of their big fears.
When I go to visit my hubby I always bring some sort of treat or take him out for a treat....it gives him something to look forward to.
you may can use a room at the facility for a type of homecoming party with friends and family. If not I would stagger the visits from everyone thru the first week instead of at once,.