Hi Wolf I turn 64 this year too! Funny, I never felt the age I was. I once read a plaque that said" How old would you be if you didn't know your age." At 60, I remember thinking about 38. Well. Being an Alz spouse has certainly changed that. For the first time, I think I feel like 64 !
On rare occasions when I have a break, I will be out with my friends and I get the old feeling of myself and Feel young again! Starting to accept that I need to take time for myself too. Learning at almost 64 that I must be sure to not lose myself in this journey too.
64!!!!!! You could be my child. You still have a lot of living to do. Valentines day I am going to hit the big 86 and I'm not ready to call myself old. I leave that to my kids to say. So...drop kick me you big bully... Love you
Poor baby, Wolf -- I turned 86 today and don't feel a bit unneeded and unloved -- I know it's a cliche, but you're only as old as you feel. Maybe a big difference, however, is that I have the "waiting" behind me and can now again plan and look forward to fun things to do.
Well it is Feb in some places already. Here on the coast it is still January. We got just a smattering of rain but not enough to do any good. We are in the second year of severe drought. Don't be surprised when your produce prices go up..it is really bad out here and we are already in fire threat mode.
Still January here in Washington too. Filled up today - gas was $2.979 here. Never thought in this part of the country where we tend to have the highest prices we would see it below $3.00.
I see the dates when Gourdchipper and others spouses died and wonder where the time has gone. You are all ones that were here when I joined this group.
Bama! I'm coming back home! Something horrible has happened. I must have seen a ghost because my hair has turned white almost overnight or maybe it's a curse because my face is melting too. It goes by fast. One minute you're in the principle's office getting the strap for pulling the bra strap of the poor girl sitting in front of you in public school and the next minute you're growing Chia Pet out of your ears and wonder why you have a bruise you can't remember getting.
Look, I'm sorry; but, I can actually hear Him snickering. "No, go ahead. You look great. It'll be good." (chortle chortle). I can be honest here right? Do you know what I have? I have droopy bum. Me. The Nureyev of Accounting. I can still fit in my bellbottoms but my gluteous is tired and has called it a day. I also have breasts now. They're not very interesting. If you think this is too much information in type, then how on earth is all that supposed to play in real life??
Because as has already been said you're as young as you feel and I never grew up as the discerning can tell. I don't buy any of it. Everything's full of holes. But we're doing pretty good overall and it's not like anybody's here for a long time. I love that some Frenchmen shot off Ramses' nose and that the Vatican has installed hinges on the figleafs on the statues because it's on again off again. But it's all so terribly, terribly important what quite randomly happens and whether you get the Buick with the cruiserline ventiports or you get the short stick, time passes anyways and people come and go and when the man at the train station asks you what time it is remember "does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?" No. The answer is no they don't. A few generations later nobody cares just look in the rearview.
The young get it. Listen to no one. They change the world and then become us. But that takes time which brings me back to me. I appear to be here with some time on my hands and in the normal world that might seem to mean something; but, I promise you in mine it doesn't. It's just a fact which in time won't be.
Let me give you one example to clear things up. Reaching your potential. Don't. Then you won't have any potential. Instead the very next step you push yourself to will be too much because there wasn't any potential left. People who say this haven't thought the thing through. And in that same completely meaningless way it doesn't actually matter what you do or don't do.
A kid in a candy store. That is the only way to approach 'the golden years'. Take no prisoners! Or as Meredith in Grumpy Old Men said, "It goes by fast and pretty soon you realize all you have is the experiences! That's all you have you see!" (and he steals his son's beer and shuts the door but that's life).
You've go' it, Wolf! Time isn't the measure. Neither is age. Experiences. As long as we have them, plan for them, prepare for them, look forward to them, want them... we live. Growing up in our house, my Dad started a joke with. my brother. Dad's birthday was in April and my brother's was in May. Dad told my brother they were going to be the same age, because "life begins at forty". They both turned 4 that year. Using that measure, Bama you're only going to be 6 as Gourdchipper is. Wolf you're only approaching 24 --I'll be 26. That's a very good thing, because there are a lot of things still to want to do, see, feel....
I'm holding on to these thoughts with both hands, as Michigan is forecasted for 2 more whomping storms in the next 2 weeks--12-24" more snow, on top of the 6' plus we've already gotten this winter where I am.
Wolf, I'd sure like to be 64 again - I'm 82 going on 95 (due to caring for my wife). If I were 64 again maybe my wife would also be 65 and not have AD.
With regard to the time - once when I asked my son what time a party would start, he replied "time is only an illusion".
Wow,the temp got over freezing today.Feels like a heatwave.Gotta get my summer clothes out. Paid $3.55 a gal. for gas yesterday.Goes up and down,more up than down.Still a lot of snow on the ground but is melting slowly.I can finally get to the bird feeders.Everything seems to be on a level with Sonny in the NH. I am so glad he is happy there, Happ y Valentine's Day everyone.
Just to compare with here down under to your temps and petrol (gas) prices...
Having a heat wave here down under....temps in the high 30's Celsius, badly need rain. Gas is $1.49 per litre on Wednesdays and goes up to $1.60 litre by the weekend.
It's just a day from Dh's passing a month ago, and I think I'm just starting to come out from under a black cloud. I miss him terribly, he will be forever in my heart....and as hard as it is, life has to go on At 71 in 2 weeks time on the 13th, I hope there is some fun and happiness still out there for me.
Carosi2* how old does that make me.....my 40's were the best years for me.
February...both of my kids have birthdays this month. They will be 36 and 32. They have each given me 2 grand babies. My 2 little boys are with me tonight so mom and dad can have a date night. Makes me happy and makes them happy. Its a win-win!
I have had some joy today. 63 degrees here. I cleaned house last eve and all morning (NOT joyful, just necessary). Then took hubs out for a while to enjoy this day. He has really declined in the past few months. Seems much more feeble. This winter has been tough on him. He was worn out with just a little walking and a couple of errands.
Having little ones with me tonight just makes me happy. Distracts me from thinking about what is lurking ahead on this slippery slope I am navigating. We will go to church in the am before I take them home.
I sure do hope the groundhog does not see his shadow. I am so ready for spring!!!
I do not care one iota who wins the Super Bowl tomorrow. I do kinda enjoy the commercials though. Will probably go to daughter's to watch at least the first half.
Abe Lincoln's birthday is this month. I like Abe...I think he was a great leader and a good soul.
And we can't forget Valentine's Day coming up. On second thought, our lovers won't remember so we just may as well forget it too.
OK...this was my "catch all" for now! I gotta go and tune back in to the baby monitors.
Because of all the cold in the midwest and east even though gas prices are down, propane has gone up. That is what we use to heat the motorhome with. Thought we were done with single digits but now they say by midweek we will have them again. Maybe I will just stay in bed all day under the electric blanket!
Had a good day with the grandkids. It was granddaughter's birthday - #8. Hb kept forgetting it was her birthday so each time he found out she got another round of happy birthday from him. :-)
He has been coughing for the last few weeks - only when awake. When asleep he does not. We went out to dinner at Old Spaghetti Factory because that was granddaughter's choice. He started coughing then threw up right at the table. He has never done anything like that. Thankfully he got most in his napkin. I walked him to the bathroom where he threw up more. When he had gerds and would start coughing he would vomit. Not sure if this is the case or not. Sometimes he say it is reflex, other times not. So I will double his antacid and see if that helps the acid problem. I think the cough is due to going out walking in the bad air when we had air inversion. I told him no but he insisted. He did this last winter too - coughed for weeks then it cleared up. Might just be the dryer cold air. time will tell.
Snowing heavily in western NJ...6" so far with a prediction of 10". More to come on Wednesday and again Sunday/Monday...I guess the frigging ground hog was right!
Don't feel guilty, lulliebird. Everything is relative. The upper midwest is going to get more snow tomorrow and then possibly again this weekend. The children have been out of school almost the entire month. I have snow piled up like walls around the driveway and have no idea where I am going to put another 6 inches. Everyone is walking around (when they can get out) like the living dead, and they only thing people can talk about is the weather. I think putting Zoloft in the drinking water might be a good thing. This mess had better freeze out the awful stinkbugs, if it is good for nothing else. At this rate we will have flooding to deal with this spring. Wish we could ship some of this out west.
I don't thin k the freezing temps drive away the stink bugs,seems I have more then usual inside, guess the cold brings them in. They whiz around and when they run into you it stings. Theyare like little airplanes.
That's the thing about an Ontario winter. I've never seen an insect of any kind either on the snow or in the air. But there is something nordic about a lot of snow in the winters. People bundle up and stomp the snow off their boots and help push cars out and every street has snowmen some 'kids' made and the snowplow comes through with it's flashing lights and everyone shovels their driveways and goes for a skate in their cars.
Stink bugs schmink bugs. The ground is harder than granite and covered in over a foot of snow. Insects would freeze instantly and fall out of the sky. Part of my weather report includes how long it takes exposed flesh to freeze and that number can be in single digits (under 10 minutes).
It's what we're used to I think. Up here snowy/icy winters are part of life. Michigan isn't much different. In Georgia where friends of mine recently sent their picture of the sign on 75 entering Florida covered in snow, it's a serious issue because it's not regular and we get used to things being a certain way.
I envy the people that have a garden right now or will be planting soon. But every region has it's pluses and minuses. I have many dozens of memories of a warm cottage or lodge with a crackling fire and people in sweaters and track pants laughing while you step outside into the crisp cold air of an Ontario night where the stars don't twinkle because there is no heat or water vapor to distort them and the sky is so black you can see the entire milky way stretch from one end of the sky to the other and while your nose turns cold and your breath fills the air, you grab a big handful of firewood from the stack outside and return into cozy and noisy warmth.
I recall taking people snowshoeing and watching them step off the snowshoes and sink up to their necks. Not an experience you're likely to have in the southern states. Not an experience many people would want. But one of my favourite memories is cross country skiing in Alqonquin park in the middle of winter with my wife. We would stop maybe 10 miles into the woods and have a picnic. A thermos of mulled wine or hot cider and some chocolate and nuts and a quiet you can't believe. We weren't cold because our bodies had heated up from the exercise and because we were used to snowy winters. I remember that first time when my wife and I looked at each other and smiled thinking life was pretty good.
I know we all face hard times, hard days, and tough moments. I also know you can sail through life and just expect things and never really savour anything. I don't want to be Justin Beiber who had 20 lifetimes of fame but no time and it's over and you're a 'has been' still a teenager. I'm a 'has been' too. My main thing is over too. But I'm not stupid, still asking what's going on as I go through the exit door. I'm picking up some of the valuable stuff lying around so I can take it with me.
No one should have a life so bereft that they have no treasured moments whatever form they take and Meredith was wrong. Life isn't just the experiences. It's that the experiences are recorded in memory and then memory weaves a story and our stories weave what we think we are.
Even in Grumpy Old Men, the movie that is taken out of, the director takes care to inform us through Chuck that Meredith is 'always' there while Meredith maintains the self narrative that he just got there. So he carefully make sure that the 'experiences' he's talking about are always the same. The problem with thinking is we stop too soon.
I have a narrative too. I'm the person who walks up behind the wizard of oz and asks him what he's doing. Immediately. And every time. I am a very sad and very rich man. But I do know what movie I'm in and who wrote it. My life and time is writing it.
I could never be Justin Beiber then and I could never be him now. I would know I was rich and famous but that it was over and start trying to reinvent something. I would not be shooting electricity straight up out through my hair screaming "I don't want this! Throw eggs!" Well, I would of course but I wouldn't listen.
Wolf, you bring back a memory for me. My wife and I were cross-country skiing in Carrabasset Valley, Maine. After a couple of hours we stopped in a grove, sat on a fallen tree and broke out the hot drinks and sandwiches. You're right - "life was pretty good".
I didn't plan my respite this way. As most of you know the east got another storm earlier this week. Our power went off early Wednesday AM and by Thursday AM the temp in the house was 50 degrees and we were tired of soup heated over a Sterno can. I called hospice and told them we had to get him out of there. They got right on it and 2 hours later they called to say they found a bed 30 miles north in the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch Country. They found a private ambulance service who were very understanding and waived the very expensive milage fee . So he is in for his 5 day respite covered by Medicare and I am sitting in a B&B not far from him. They had a worse Ice Storm here than we had at home. The ice is still coating all the trees here. At home it had melted off and the power is on at my house. ( Had to run home today to get his health care directives and DNR that I left without yesterday. ) I may go home tomorrow, the ambulance will not take him home until Monday. Then I will probably have to come back to be sure all his stuff gets home. Especially the air mattress that he uses on his bed. It is rented from a medical equiptment company. Don't know when I will be elegible for another Respite.
Well, at least try to enjoy the B&B. Get yourself some rest and enjoy a little peace and quiet. Pretend you are at our Christmas lodge. Relax in front of a fireplace if one is available!
Ice storm in Georgia. Power out. DH pacing. Not sure I will make it through this. He is really out of sorts with this. I just wish he would sit and take a nap. I know I shouldn't complain. All of you up north have had it bad all winter. We really are not used to this. And in two days it will be in the sixties. Just need to vent and realize not as bad as it seems.
Finally had sunshine up to 60 but windy. All the snow is gone except where there were drifts. HB is happy he can go outside and not freeze his feet.
Yesterday had the guy back out trying to figure out why the furnace was not lighting all the time. I could hear it trying but would not. He was out a couple weeks ago and found the propane pressure was 1/2 of what it should be so adjusted that and pressure checked the lines (first time since we bought it 12 years ago). He found the ignition was separated too much so adjusted that but he still did not like the sounds of it when it would light - there was a delay. I mentioned that I had notice whenever a 12v light/appliance was on the battery indicator would go from 'charged' to 'good'. He checked the converter and it was bad. He was surprised it was still doing anything. Replaced it and he thinks the odd things that happen will now go away. He would have never thought to check the converter if I had not mentioned the power fluctuation.
There is something to be said about FL. Granted counting votes is beyond our capabilities, but it's been high 70's to Low 80's this week the pool is heated to 90. (I won't mention the 20" over night rainfall/flood a few weeks ago, Bit if you're a single man who can drive at night, see well enough to read a menu and remember your dates name through out the meal and don't wear Depends the world is yours for the taking.
Sounds like the world's ready for your taking Marty (that is when you're ready!) We have another monster Nor"Easter coming our way tonight. I'll be dreaming about being on a warm sandy beach in FL, instead of shoveling snow!
LFL Typical example: I've gone out with several women since New Years. Only one more than a single date. Aphis week all 3 called "what are "WE" doing for Valentines day. Lucky for me my daughter will be visiting the perfect out!
Marty--I've heard about this role reversal thing (senior women chasing men). Curious, what is the male reaction? Does it depend on how appealing the woman is who is doing the inviting? I have a male friend who is in a similar position to you--has taken out many women starting about 2 mos. after his wife died--and got serious with one of them. Then she developed same type of illness his wife had--I think he jumped into the relationship too quickly.
My husband uncle lived in Vero Beach, FL. After his wife died he said he rarely had to cook because the single women in the manufactured home park were taking care of him very well. He did say sometimes too well - like every night.
Marilyn from a male perspective (speaking solely for myself) it's flattering as hell to be invited. Keep in mind the last I was dating I was 16 years old. I have not gone out with very many women. The appeal of the woman inviting me out 25% based on physical to get my attention and thereafter 100% cerebral - are we on the same wave length?? I just started dating. I can't comment on taking out many women. I've only taken out 4. Only one did I ask out on multiple dates. That relationship came to an end due to the time demands of her starting a new practice after retiring. Life is short and I guess I'm selfish at this stage.
I could never be a serial dater, dating multiple women simultaneously that's not me. I'm fully aware how vulnerable I am at this early phase, but the counterpoint is I hate being alone while surrounded by "friends" When the door closes at 11 or 12 and everyone leaves the loneliness really hits home and I hate it after a lifetime of companionship with Sue. My talking to the empty passenger seat or the vacant pillow on the other side of the bed will not last for long.
Went to a Hospice affair "A Celebration of Life" this afternoon. A very intense emotional remembrance of each attendee's loved one sort of related to Valentines day. Everyone had tears streaming at one point or another and I got hit on by a very nice lady at about I think at a very inappropriate moment. All I could say "Pleased to meet you" and turn away
Charlotte We call the food delivery the brisket brigade... I called a halt real fast I'm a far better cook
Marty, I saw your post on the widow thread too. Good for you. You are so right there's a difference between 'friends' and someone to share your life with. Keep your radar up because they're going to keep coming and you've already told us your goal. You're giving off vitality and that's like a lightbulb.
To Marilyn's point women later in life become much more practical in my opinion. Secondly there is an increasing shortage of men because we don't last.
I suspect but don't mind being told I'm wrong that Marty is sending different signals. He may be making eye contact and smiling for all we know.
I've joked with friends that my personal stock will keep going up because as time continues to zoom by I am becoming a rarer breed. Unmarried (well not yet) older male (speaking for myself only). And as I wrote on the second marriage thread, I already know what I want.
I've never worn a wedding ring or any other ring or even a watch. I hate things on my hands. Many people asked me how I knew what time it was and I smiled. Everybody else is wearing one and you learn to look at their wrists. That did mean I got a somewhat different experience in that every once in a while I had to explain that I was married. That stopped dead when I turned about 45 and interestingly has picked up again as I've turned 60 and now have largely gray hair. Generally from women with gray hair.
I'm thinking after a decade of field research I might write a book entitled "No One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" about the things that go on in the golden years.
I'm also thinking of starting a line of senior T-shirts with dumb sayings on them. Here's a couple of ideas:
I survived Alzheimer's and have a lot of built up rage (dementia line) Slightly used. Low mileage (general line) No I'm not Yul Brenner (cancer line) Looking for love as soon as I find my glasses (general line) How's my driving? Call 1-your number (general line) I wasn't at Woodstock either (general line)
It's a work in progress. Ideas are welcome.
Wouldn't it be funny if instead of global warming, we're entering an ice age. What a monster storm on the east coast. I hope everyone is alright.
So happy Valentines Day is over. We went to Walmart yesterday. Bought us each a sweatshirt for which I said 'these can be our valentine gifts to each other. Then I got two boxes of chocolates and told him the same. No Valentine sweet talk or anything like - like he did not know what the day meant. Actually that has been the story of all valentine days throughout our marriage, so no surprise.
Wolf, I want a "I survived Alzheimer's and have a lot of built up rage" :)
I find that I bounce back and forth from happy to sad at the drop of a hat. It is driving me nuts. I will be doing fine and then I check the mail or something comes on the tv and I am frozen in sadness. So how about a shirt "I am doing fine, but give me a minute and I am sure it will change"
Blue, it hasn't been long. Don't be hard on yourself. I'm a doctor. Here's a prescription for you:
===Official Prescription Form For Real Doctors Only===
Blue is to develop an MBL and execute it
===END OF FORM====
Don't worry about reading the prescription because I'm a doctor so I can't read my writing either but an MBL is a Mini Bucket List and a minibucklist is 10 things that are pretty easy to do and make you feel good. When you fill the prescription you'll get an MBL kit. This consists of three things. A CD containing a pep talk, a pencil, and a piece of paper.
Here's a sample of what the pep talk says:
YOU ARE FABULOUS! YOU ARE A WARM AND LOVING PERSON BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T DUMP YOUR SPOUSE OUT OF THE CAR BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD IN DULUTH! HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WORK OUT! IS THAT A SIZE FOUR??? WAIT I'LL STEP BACK FURTHER. YES IT IS!
...and so on. The CD isn't terribly clear. Here's what you do though. Write the numbers 1 - 10 down the left side of the paper with the pencil. Now fill in anything that would make you remotely happy and do all of them without delay. Here's an example of a filled in prescription:
1. Eat ice cream for breakfast 2. Get a pedicure. 3. Go to a spa to get it and add a massage. 4. Buy new shoes. Don't worry about wearing them ever. 5. Read a good steamy novel. Ask everyone. Someone will know. 6. Buy an expensive box of chocolate and eat it in record time. 7. Say 'bite me' out loud all day every time I have a sad memory. 8. Remind myself of one thing that worried me recently but which I solved. 9. Go to the mirror. Look myself in the eyes. Smile. Remind myself what one feels like. 10. Watch a movie I like in my pajamas with a pillow and a blanket. And the chocolates.
Wolf - I'm years ahead of Blue, you and most others, but read your prescription anyway. Took care of the first, had ice cream for dinner not breakfast, is that OK? It felt swell. Working on the next one- maybe sometime this week. It's Sunday night, I'm alone, all is quiet here. I have a coupon from my provider for a free movie. I think I'll skip to #10.
Wow, I was worried at first. I thought MBL was Major Baseball League. That was going to be tough to do. :)))
I only look like I am in a size four if you take your glasses off!!
Mini Bucket List is more my speed. Have done numbers 2, 3, 6 several times, 8, 9, and 10. On your list, good ideas.
I have been working on my bedroom and am going at a snail's pace. Need to pick up the pace and get it done. I think the though of moving back in without my DH is what is slowing me down. But this is just part of the grief I guess and this to will work its way out.
Funny how we are all so different. #7, BITE ME when a sad memory hits, that is my favorite and it makes me laugh. #9 runs a close second. But it is not as funny, laughs are really the best.
I am all but done with my bedroom redo. Towards the last of DH AD, I had moved out the dressers, night stands, my clothes in the closet even most of the pictures on the walls. So when he passed there was nothing left of us in the bedroom. He was in a hospital bed and I in a borrowed twin. So the room was ready. It had been about 17 years for that paint and paper. The new room is in black and white. The ceiling is gloss black and I have a crystal light fixture, white walls and trim, black curtains with sparkles on them. And the bedding is black and white. All I need now is a new bed, getting a queen size, that will fit me and the dogs just fine. I know moving back in will be bittersweet. But I know my DH would want me to be happy.
(((Hugs))) to all still caring for their loved ones.
#7 - Bite Me! Is going to be my new mantra whenever I get thinking and start getting depressed over hubby....should snap me right out of it!
Blue - I just finished reorganizing hubby's bedroom too. The bedroom set was my grandparents so has a lot of good memories so kept that but the rest is changed. It's now the guest bedroom.
Interesting the topic of bucket list came up here because I've been working on my list the last month. For this year I want to ....
In April take my granddaughter to Drumhiller in Alberta to the dinosaur museum and we are going to fly...her first time flying....to Calgary and back.
The second thing I'm saving like crazy for is my dream trip to London England in the fall.
Next year I want to skate the Rideau Canal in Ottawa, and trip to Italy, Greece and Turkey. Have to save like crazy again.
The third year I want to go kayaking on Vancouver Island with the otters and haven't decided on my big trip if there will even be one there are still a lot of places I want to see in this country and also in the states. New York is a city I would like to see.
Forth year....Either got to the Bay of Fundy and ride in a boat against the tide as it comes in or to Winnipeg to skate the longest outdoor rink in Canada and maybe the world or go up north to the Yukon or over to Prince Rupert and over to Haida Guya (sp?) and then take the ferry down to Vancouver Island and do the drive through there and then back up home...round trip.
Home front...Finish my cabin...need to find a good finishing carpenter and work on my garden. Get my health back...X country skiing, skating, kayaking and find another claim and get back to prospecting for gold.
No bucket list here. I'm having a strange kind of bucket list experience right now though. We had two couples that were lifelong friends. Became aunts and uncles to the kids, went on vacation together, it was always fun for 35 years. When my wife's condition became pronounced it was very hard on them and in unison they pulled away hard and no one answered for six months when I wrote to them saying we should talk about this. So I wrote again and told them I agreed it was over. The only good thing about it was that Dianne was unaware that they had jumped ship. But that's how they made it on my 'bucket list'.
I heard from them in September after two years that one of the wives had cancer. And I admit that I had thoughts that they weren't going to have their cozy foursome either.
Today I saw they called again and I didn't answer. I knew what it was. They would never call to talk or find out about Dianne. But something happening to one of them is important. We would love to see you there the caller sobbed into the phone.
She has died of cancer and the funeral is tomorrow. I'll be downtown at the NBA game watching them play the Golden State Warriors with my friends who purchased a group seating so we can coax a grieving friend back out to a game she loved watching with her husband before he too died of cancer.
That woman, the one I'll be with tomorrow is the same one that stormed out of our house yelling "I don't want to hear about this! I just came to say happy birthday to my friend! (my wife). The thing is after that she opened her heart completely and let everyone know it was perfectly alright for Dianne to put both hands all over the turkey at thanksgiving as 11 of us sat around the table when I was trying to settle her down. She was talking to me that I should relax about it. And I'll be at the game tommorrow helping her then relax about that.
My wife is a tough cookie. She went to Tim Horton's last week and she's going to Dairy Queen on Monday. She continues untouched by knowing one of her two closest friends has died and the other is crying her heart out. In her world that split didn't occur and they are still friends even though she has no ability to understand any of this.
I don't know what's going to go through my mind watching a basketball game while the funeral is going on tomorrow. I'm going to be there getting on with my life without Dianne. We weren't important to them back then and we're not important to them now just because they're hurting.
Don't cross Wolf. I won't do anything to you but I'll be watching the rest of my life. I've decided that at the Fox and Fiddle tomorrow I'm having a cold lunch. It's always best served cold.
What is unsaid is that even though she knew she was dying of cancer, it never moved her to see Dianne. Right back at you and don't let the door hit you on the way out.
This is a rant. I've stuck it into the end of February so it will disappear. With luck so will what's left of that bunch.
I totally understand, Wolf. Only it was with my church where we were members for 18 years. Only a couple came once or twice during the 11 years DH was struggling, as was I. They were all 'so surprised' when he died because they didn't know he was 'that sick'. Didn't have his service at the church and they don't understand why. I haven't been back. Just trying to get on with my life, too.