Marilyn's husband, Steve, passed away this morning. He was a second generation victim of EOAD, as his father died from AD years ago. Steve was a brilliant, attractive, affable young man, a CPA, who understood this disease, and made sure his affairs, insurance and LTC plans were in place early on, just in case. Another sign of his foresight and love for Marilyn. I believe he was diagnosed ten years ago, and has lived the past few years in a nearby Assisted Living Facility. Until the end, he knew Marilyn, loved music and was able to laugh when something was funny to him.
We send our deepest condolences to Marilyn. Services will be on Thursday morning.
Steve's funeral can be viewed on line Thursday morning at 10:00 AM Eastern. More information is here: http://www.sollevinson.com/notice.php?lr=loc&id=23075
I am very sorry to hear about your husband's passing. Please accept my sincere condolences. I plan on watching Thursday. I will pray for you to have the strength to get through the difficult time ahead. Take care of yourself.
Marilyn, I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Steve. I hope your memories will wrap you in a protective cloak of comfort. Much love my friend ((hugs))
I am so sorry for your loss..but for Steve his suffering is over. Now try to get some rest..these next days are going to be difficult. I wish you and your family peace.
Marilyn, Sending my deep and sincere sympathy to you on the loss of your dear Steve. May the music he loved give you comfort during your grieving. You was a wonderful caregiver to Steve. Take care.
Thanks, Nancy, for starting this thread and for everyone's kind wishes. First, I want to remember to say that it takes the funeral home several hours to put the video online, but it will be there.
During our 10 year journey with AD, I asked G-d for three things: to let me survive it so I could take care of him to the end; to let him be free of pain; and to let him know me for the whole duration of his illness. I was given those three wishes, and more. Steve still had a personality until he entered the hospice facility last Weds. and was laughing with us at the ALF on Monday, 1/20. I have asked everyone to remember his happy, upbeat ways and his ability to see the good in everyone he met.
I was with him when he passed and it was completely peaceful. He didn't make a sound, didn't grimace, just stopped breathing. I felt it was appropriate for us to be alone together, as we have faced this 10-year journey pretty much that way.
The oldies here will remember some of the "fun" we had in the early years--Steve getting lost for 4 hours; taking my pills instead of his; being thrown out of daycare; etc. But as the years went by and his meds were adjusted--and as the disease progressed--he became more docile and his old, sweet personality returned. I was blessed to have him as my soul mate and for our marriage of 36 years.
This website has been invaluable to me as one of my support systems. I have been too busy to post much lately, but I always check in and follow what's going on.
Marilyn, you have been a warrior caregiver for Steve for all these years. You and Steve were so lucky to have each other- you took wonderful care of him and he planned to make sure you'd be cared for as well.
I am shocked and saddened to learn that Steve's journey is ended. My sincerest thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time, my dear friend.
Marilyn many warm thoughts coming your way from here. What a beautiful post you made for us, yes for us. What a very lucky thing that you and Steve had each other. God bless you and your family.
Sending heartfelt condolences to you Marilyn during this time. you have been a dedicated caregiver to your beloved Steve for so long. We all wish you peace and comfort in the days ahead. hugs to you divvi
Marilyn, you have been such an inspiration to everyone here. You were a wonderful caregiver. You will be in my thoughts & prayers. Your dear Steve is now at peace & may you also find peace.
Marilyn wouldn't mention this herself, but she has been an Alzheimer's delegate and special speaker before special committees at the US Capital in Washington DC. on the challenges faced not only by older members of society, but for young people like her husband who was diagnosed in his early 50's. Marilyn said there were panelists who didn't realize it could hit someone that young! She and Steve were honored by the Maryland Alzheimer Association Chapter as the outstanding volunteers. I remember a beautiful picture of them dancing together at that event. It was only a short time after that that Steve had to go into the care facility. As awful as it was for Marilyn, I still laugh when I remember when he got into a tussel with someone at Day Care for having the audacity to sit in his chair! She resolved that challenge by taking one of Steve's chairs to the Daycare Center. Then the others just knew it was Steve's chair.
She truly made a difference for all of us who are on (or who WERE on) this AD journey.
Nancy, in the midst of my sorrow yesterday, you made me smile. I had forgotten the REASON that triggered Steve's "expulsion" from daycare--the story about the man in "his seat". Of course, what compounded the situation was that the poor man was deaf and couldn't hear Steve telling him to get out of his seat. So Steve just picked up the chair with the man in it!!! The whole incident was horrifying at the time, but now it's funny. Soon it will be time to get ready for the funeral--there are so many memories of 37 years with him flying back into my head--I have been such a lucky woman to have him. I hope I can keep it together and avoid a sinus headache from too much crying.
I've been thinking of starting a new thread here reminding newbies about the "Search" feature of this website. There is so much good info in old threads, so many gems of wisdom, and also, funny stories like those above.
marilyninMD, thanks for all you have shared. You and Steve managed to face and defeat this monster with grace, humor and dignity. My prayers are with you at this time for peace and comfort. My joy is with Steve, as he has truly defeated dementia. He is very blessed to have been loved and cared for by you.
Marilyn, I watched the beautiful memorial service today for Steve. It was a wonderful synopsis of a good man's life. Thank you for sharing. Take care of yourself.
Marilyn, I just read your comment above about the thread reminding newcomers to use the Search element, and think it is a good idea. Even before I signed on, I was here for many months going through old threads for hours on end. It was a tremendous help to me. Also, like you stated, it made a newbie more knowledgeable about others who had been here for years. This site was a lifeline to me during an extremely difficult time in my life and still is!
A beautiful, beautiful service, Marilyn. They made a DVD of DH's service and I watched it for the first time yesterday. So much I didn't remember! Peace to you and family.
What a mixture of emotions we have when our loved one leaves. We are sad and hurting, but a part of us is glad they are no longer in ALZ' clutches. Peace be with you Marilyn.
Marilyn, Steve got a real gem when he married you. You are so caring to think about starting an "index" of subjects on here in the midst of all you are going through now - but it is a wonderful idea. You have offered much wisdom to all of us on this journey. Peace and care.