I am going out of my mind. DH is on the toilet every two hours (including all night, which is why I'm a tiny tad exhausted right now) and can't poop. He's had his Miralax half-dose in his juice for three days or so, which usually works…but I'm going to run around the corner and prune juice--8oz. in a tumbler glass is my secret weapon. Any other good hints? The last time this happened, he had a seizure, fell, and we ended up in the ER (another nightmare in and of itself) where the staff was not thrilled to be giving him enemas.
Elizabeth a ducolax suppository is a fast way to get them going or a mineral based enema. yes nasty to deal with after math but they can get quite ansy if they cant go. be gentle on yourself. this takes a lot of patience to get to where you can deal. remember hes in trouble and needs help.
Elizabeth, after DH was hospitalized and didn't poop for 5 days, when in rehab at the nursing home they gave him a cup of hot coffee and 8 oz of WARM prune juice. It worked like a charm. And they gave him both each morning to keep him regular.
Recently we had another episode of constipation and NOTHING worked. So I gave him 2 ducolax pills by mouth (no way could we get near his butt for an enema or suppository). Got him going again within 6 hours and it wasn't any messier than a normal bowel movement, except the volume and number of times he had to poop that day (3).
Well, the constipation issue became a little moot when he had three falls--the first one, I got him up, the second one, my daughter and I together got him up, but the third one left him in pain and far more confused and "out of it" than usual. So I called the ambulance, and he is admitted to the hospital as a "social admission" while we figure out what to do. He can't stand or walk, and he is still very agitated and wanting to use the bathroom every five minutes. They did a good workup, and all testing was negative. It just looks like he's a demented, non-cooperative, bowel-conscious, typical Alzheimers patient. I have to get some sleep--good-night, all. Lord only knows what tomorrow will bring.
Elizabeth, prayers to you, hope you get some peaceful rest. It might be time for placement. Sounds like you are exhasted and at your wits end. There is a morning after.
He is pleasantly bonkers, and leading the hospital staff in a merry dance. He is always (like every five minutes) trying to get out of bed and setting off the bed alarm--doing a lot of pooping and urinating. It is good to see him so well-hydrated from the IV fluid--he just would not eat or drink much at home--was getting weaker and crazier, but would not do anything that would have helped himself. The plan is for them to try to sneak him into a nursing home for some "rehab" (really to give me a break) billed to his Medicare, and then back home with a hospital bed in our bedroom and some private pay aides to help me. I have an appointment with an elder law attorney on April 30--the soonest he could get me in--but I just don't see how Medicaid will be an option for us. I have managed to divest myself of a lot of our former middle-class prosperity, knowing that it was likely to be lost to Medicaid, but…I own the house my daughter, son-in-law, and three grandchildren live in. I doubt that Medicaid will allow me to own two homes--I'm sure they'll be slapping liens on my daughter's house, and maybe mine, too. I want to sign the house she is living in over to her for her family's protection, but that will likely bring on Medicaid penalties. The bottom line is that we just can't really do Medicaid without destroying my own financial future--and I'm only 64. I'll see what the lawyer has to say, but I ran a Medicaid caseload in NY for 20 years, and I'm familiar with it. I think I'm just nailed.
I forgot to say that the agency sending the aides also has assisted living and respite capacity. They are located literally at the end of my road and one block over--so very easy to access, and much cheaper than it would have been in NY. This place is recommended by my neighbor, an RN with many years of experience in this area. I guess my other thought, that I will share with this group but not admit to any outsiders, is that I shouldn't have become so involved with my daughter and her family, no matter how lonely and needy I was. I did not realize until I made the out-of-state move that my daughter wants to get divorced from my SIL who has turned out to be very irresponsible. DD sees me, I think, as the key to her being able to leave her husband and have housing and childcare, through my help. I thought I was hooking up with pleasant, successful, mature people and that we would all do better as a cooperative family unit. This was the way I was raised in a big extended family, and thought we were going to be re-creating that--and our elderly relatives were always cared for at home within the family. Well, my daughter has really thrown me a curve. Be careful how much you help others…no good deed goes unpunished, as they say. I was really, really naive; and would never have believed how manipulative and self-serving my daughter could be.
elizabeth, I did the initial application for Medicaid but decided not to - and I did private pay in NH for the last 11 days of his life. Best decision I ever made. Medicaid would have taken all my financial future.
So sorry for your family problems. We do what we think is best - at the time - and sometimes live to regret those decisions. But, be kind and gentle to yourself. You will survive this.