Ok, I've read all of the previous posts regarding this subject, and I have couple of other questions. What do you clean your DH up with? I've been using Cottonelle wet wipes (they work with our septic system), but I have to use so many! And even then I don't feel like he's very clean. And, how can I make the poop stink less?!? He's eating all of the same stuff as usual and yet I thought I was going to die today!
When he was still mobile and in Depends pull-ups, I'd get him to the bathroom and then use a lot of toilet paper to get the first layer then use the store brand wet wipes (not flushable).
I don't know of anything to make it smell better :-)
If he can take them, try probiotics. Also papaya pills might help since they help with gas.
You can also make your own wipes using paper towels. You can google make your own baby wipes but here is a site for one recipe: http://www.stacymakescents.com/homemade-baby-wipes My DIL used big baggies to store them in. Nice thing about making your own is you know what is in them. BUT - you can't flush them.
I use RediBath by medline to do the hard cleanups. they are a pack of 8 soap ready disposable washcloths that work really well for hard cleanups. you can also use them for a quick bedbath or hair washing. you can google and buy online. and I use non flushable wipes as well prior. yes it takes a lot to get the job done. try to use fragrance free ones if possible some of our folks have issues with all the chemicals or fragrance and it can cause irritations in private areas. and that's another issue too. investing in a few inexpensive packs of cotton washcloths that can be bleached is also a good idea. shaving crème works really well unless they have issues with the chemicals on privates.
Friends please DO NOT use shaving foam. When I went to the VA hospital years ago to visit my dad, the aides were using shaving foam on all the male patients, they were wailing from the burning. The aid told me that he always did it b/c of the smell. I told him in a very nice southern belle way to bend over drop his short and let me smear that _____ on his big _____ . He immediately left the room. I had a meeting with the hosp admin and told them how it hurt and burned the patients and showed them pics of the irration that my dad on his front, buttocks and legs. They immediately stopped using shaving cream and used baby lotion instead to clean off the stubborn stuff. Soap and water, not shaving chemicals please. IF you do not belive it burns, try it !!!!!!!
Ok, not a poop question but a related one...sort of. Recently DH has stopped cleaning his genitals (won't let anyone else touch him there, not even me now). I am concerned that he will be getting an infection or a UTI if he's not thoroughly clean. I'm starting to detect a slight "crotch" odor and want to get him clean. Any ideas? Today the aide told him if he doesn't clean himself well, his penis will fall off. Not sure if it worked.
sadly this would be a time I would medicate say with an Ativan and have a good bed bath with the aide. with urine feces and anything else it needs to be cleaned to avoid infections. you may can dose in between with a hygiene spray. the things we have to do!! never easy. hope you come up with something that works.
You can buy bundles of very cheap washcloths at walmarts or thereabouts. Also, when diapers were cloth, you cold hold them tightly in the stream of a flushing toilet to wash off a fair amount, then drop them in a diaper pail.
I use disposable wash cloths, put them in a plastic bag and throw in the trash. I have also used the cheap washcloths from Walmart. They work well and can be washed, bleached and reused. I'll have to admit, though, that I have thrown some of them away when they were really soiled.
Shellseeker, it sort of worked about it falling off. I told aide to say "If it's not clean the doctors will have to cut it off to prevent serious infection". I hate making him afraid but right now it's all I got.
Dear divvi, his morning meds include clonopin, Seroquel and Neurontin before he's bathed. He's a stubborn cuss.
I've used it too and didn't note any pain or discomfort. He already was irritated in the area so I didn't think the foam caused any skin problems. Curious.
As usual Mary75* Nailed it.. it's no different than caring for an infant. Finish coat of Zinc Oxide or Desitin after a good wash off wipe down does the trick
I always used baby wipes. He was in Depends so I would always have a Walmart bag (or a double Walmart bag) ready. I would put the wipes and the Depends in that, clean him up with the baby wipes and if necessary, put him in the tub for a final cleanup. Then when I was done, I would tie up the bag and take it out to the garbage. I can't imagine using shop towels on his hiney...seems the skin would come off with them. I may be wrong, but aren't they close to sandpaper??? Cleanliness??? I always took Lloyd in the shower with me. I smelled like men's Avon for a few years, but he always let me wash him all up. It got a little rough in the end because I actually had to pick him up and put him in the tub because he couldn't get over the side of the tub anymore...but he was always clean.
Okay I looked it up and if the shaving cream has a lot of alcohol in it that would be painful on rashy skin. I have only used it occasionally so I didn't get that reaction and the skin wasn't irritated. For sure wet wipes would be better especially the big ones that you can buy at the dollar store. The discussion I read was talking about men with a lot of hair to get stuck in. I would trim that hair up a bit. I have trimmed my husbands hair with scissors in front for that reason. He didn't mind. He's much easier to clean up now.
shaving cream works to keep windows from foggy up - that I know. I know shaving cream is cheaper but think I would get the no wash stuff. That is what my sister used but she still wiped him off with a warm, damp washcloth. And remember, every ones skin reacts differently.
I've used shaving cream a couple of times and not had a problem. I did rinse well after using. I have found something better/safer, though. I use an empty bottle from some foaming hand soap (I use Bath & Body), rinse it out and fill 1/3 to 1/2 full of Johnson's baby soap and finish filling it with water. I turn it upside down and around to mix (shaking makes too many suds). This makes a very mild foaming soup that cleans really well. I use it for his whole bath.
Other than Vicks on your nose to help mask the poop smell, you can use just a tiny drop of the essential oil of your choice--I always have lavender oil in the house, and that's what I put on my nose. If you have alcohol or alcohol wipes, that works for your nose, too. My other must-haves for management of DH's poop are Goodnite bed pads--the ones that adhere to the sheet, and Depends RealFit…Looks and Feels Like Real Underwear. I've thrown out all his briefs, boxers, and pajama bottoms--he just poops too much. I keep plastic grocery bags near the bathroom and bedroom--put the soiled pads and/or underwear in there, clean the worst of it with toilet paper and flush it--then cleanse with baby wipes--the Lullabies brand from Aldi's--and throw them in the grocery bag…knot it up and take it out to the trash can in the garage. Wash my hands really well, of course. For dried on poop, soften it first with whatever hand lotion you use. I was in nursing for 42 years and never saw shaving cream used for incontinent care--my favorite products were when the family brought in nice baby care products for us to use on the patients. For smells in the room, I have a good odor-removing spray--there are several available--and open the windows wide no matter what the temperature is outside. (After he's been moved out of the area, of course…if it's cold.) Just for general use, I put a few drops of my lavender oil in a spray bottle of water and mist the linens when I make the beds--let it dry, of course, before pulling up the covers. It doesn't smell perfume-sweet…it just gives a nice cleanliness to the linens. I can see why people used it a lot in the old days. We have a hand-held shower, and it is easy enough to sluice down DH, but he often refuses. Sigh.
Good information, Elizabeth. Since your favorite products were the nice baby care products one family brought in, did they mix the baby wash to make a foaming soap like I did. Just noticed that I typed soup instead of soap in my last post. I've got to learn to proofread before posting.
Hello, Dazed. I just remember that products used for baby care seemed to work very well for eldercare, too. The Baby Magic stuff was nice. I don't recall making a foaming soap (but I'm going to try that hint as soon as my Bath & Body Works bottle of hand soap is empty). And of course, even though we may be using products marketed for infants or toddlers, we should avoid using the infantilizing words--just call it "liquid soap", or "body wash", or whatever….not "baby soap."
Poop is a very efficient delivery system. A little goes a long way and gets EVERYWHERE. His poop has such an odor that I can tell he has had a bm as soon as I walked in the door when he lived at home, could smell it down the hall of the very nice clean ALF he was in for a while and today as soon as I turned the corner to the hallway towards his unit in the nursing home, I could tell he just had one. Also clean, nice smelling place until he poops. None of the medical staff have been any help in the solution to the odor. He has been totally incontinent for three years. I guess it is a character builder.
I've read all the comments here, but have another aspect of the problem. My husband seems to have forgotten that he must sit down to defecate. This evening, for the umpteenth time, I could tell that he was going to have a bowel movement and followed him into the bathroom, but could not get him to sit. He stands there and just poops. This time I was able to catch it with toilet paper and paper towels (I keep disposable gloves and plastic grocery bags in there for clean-up) and fought him (as usual) to get him cleaned as much as possible before he could get his pants back up. In addition, it's 1:30 in the morning and for the third time today (early morning, a few hours after the poop incident, and just now....again) he peed on himself when trying to get to the bathroom. The first two times I "entered his world" and laughed and commiserated as I got him to change. Just now it became another physical struggle (sorry, folks....NOT going to let him back in bed in urine-soaked sweatpants.) I'm tired of the bruised arms and wrists I sustain as he grabs and hits at me while I'm getting his pants off. I KNOW it isn't his fault, and I go with the flow (pun intended) with this formerly fastidious man's refusal to change clothes, brush teeth, bathe, etc. I'm getting home care health starting this week for one evening a week to help with the bathing issue. No one can help me in the middle of the night....or at least I cannot afford the help that could. So, back to the original problem. How can I re-train him to sit on the toilet? I've tried and he just will not/cannot do it.
Thought I'd add that he gets a small amount of stool softener daily that keeps him regular....constipation has actually sent us to the hospital emergency room twice in the earlier stages of the disease before we realized what was causing his distress.
JOY I will bring up the incontinence thread for you. its a duzzy and so many posts. its worth reading a lot of experience there. maybe he cant bend his knees anymore. this happened to my dh in late stage 5. try to ask home health to get a script for a standing toilet you can use. its higher or can be adjusted to just back up to it and not have to bend much. it will be a lifesave if you can get him on it. and while hes sitting you can pull pants down and clean him from underneath while hes sitting as they have donut holes for this purpose. a nice padded one I would recommend as it will be your best friend for sometime to come. this is a very bad time during caregiving and we need products that help in this department. best of luck. and yes getting them to lessen the 'death grip' on the pants and depends is notorious in the incontinence thread. its common. and very hard to maneuver. divvi
Thank you, DIVVI. I was at my wit's end last night after our 1:30 am battle and had no one to talk to...jumped on the Internet and googled Alzheimer Spouse....it led me to this wonderful web site. I didn't read any of the rules and requests (I did today) and just basically "cried out." I'll find that proper thread and try to add to the good advice you gave me.
Consider, too, that he may have a fear of what he sees as a "black hole". I found that I was sometimes able to maneuver him on to the toilet by standing in front of him with my back to his front, then walking backwards and partially sitting, forcing him to sit down. As divvi said he may have trouble bending his knees but mine soon proved to me that was not his case. After unsuccessfully trying to get him to sit on the toilet, five minutes later he dropped his pants and sat on a wooden end table with an inlaid glass top and pooped. You gotta love them! Sadly, I no longer need to worry about that. My DH has been bedridden for almost 3 years now.
Joy, that is how I found this wonderful site 5 years ago. It has been my lifeline ever since. You will find advice for absolutely anything and everything that you will encounter throughout this disease. Best of luck to you.
Quite awhile ago ,I read a suggestion here on this site about using a black toilet seat.I got one and it really helped. Now that he is in a NH the aides were having a problem getting him to sit and I asked the DON to get a black seat,they finally did and found it worked out . I had read somewhere that AZ patients have trouble seeing white items.Also,one of my friends bought a few yards of flannel.tore it into washcloth size pieces and used that for cleaning her husband,siad it was cheaper than adult throw away washcloths.If anyone has a method to loosen that"death grip" please let me know.Even at the NH Sonny gets a hold of my wrists and I have to holler for help.
yhouniey, I read somewhere (probably here!) that the AD sufferer doesn't know what we mean when we tell them to let go of something. But the words 'release' or 'open up' or something similar plus a visual (showing them a hand opening up) will help them understand what you want them to do. Of course, that's not going to help you when he has BOTH of your wrists. Hope something works for you.
before you attempt the changing try putting something in their hands. be it a rolled washed cloth, or a candy bar in each hand. tell them they will get the treat as soon as you are done. having the hands occupied with anything other than you will help. the aides here always comment on how strong the death grip is even with my very thin bedridden late stage 7E spouse! its just amazing how long they can retain strength.
divvi, thanks for the suggestion of putting something in his hands. My bedridden late stage 7 spouse also can get a "death grip" on my wrist or hand. I did discover googlie pets ( tiny plastic toys that have blinking lights when you slap them). They keep his hands out of the diaper. Guess they might work while changing.
Mary, are googlie pets dog toys? I was considering buying some for DH so we don't have a death grip but can only find them as dog toys and without blinking lights. He would definitely need to blinking lights to distract him. Where did you buy them?
I think they were called googlie (or googly ) critters and I think they were in the toy department at Wal Mart. My DD works there and she is the one who bought them. Our dog won't even look at them which is good because he would have them torn apart in a minute. They are the size to fit in the palm of your hand.