I have, over the past year called 3 ladies I have been acquaintances of for many years. I had heard they were dealing with spouses with dementia and Parkinson. I was interested in exchanging ideas and solutions to similar problems we were both having since my husband has Parkenism and Dementia. My thoughts were we might meet occasionally or.. talk by phone about our situations. They all said their husbands had Dementia but that was the end of it. None of them called me back I am thinking now they may be in denial of accepting their husbands illnesses or are trying to keep it as secret as possible. None of them use computers so I know they are not using computer site support. Any thoughts on this.
In a previous decade, anything mental was to be ashamed of. Be it bi=polar, retardation, Down's Syndrome, cerebral palsy, Parkinson's, AD, etc. Why? I don't know. People kept handicapped children hidden away for years so they wouldn't embarrass the family. How sad for everyone.
These people are to be pitied. Our LOs have so much to offer. They see things in a different perspective. It's hard work--and hard to accept, but I would have never denied my son or now my DH.
Ignorance is NOT bliss. Information and knowledge may not be bliss but it sure is a lot better than being in the dark.
Best of luck to you. Stay on this site and you will learn so much and your life will be easier--not easy--just easier.
I wish you lived near me, I would love to have someone to exchange ideas. I think they are losing out on valuable information. I do understand denial though, my father-in-law was in the mind set that if you don't address the problem, then it doesn't exist. He finally accepted my mother-in-laws condition, however, it was too late for any medication to help.
There is a local group in my community that has decided to make me one of their projects. Every time one of them calls, or comes to visit for a chat I thank them for whatever they want to do. I got one of those phone calls today. It turns out I'm not the only dementia caregiver living here. He knows at least one more couple. He asked about arranging for some kind of socializing with that other couple (or couples).
I remembered that Joan said that worked. People had a good time. I told him I was willing.
They are also trying to figure out a way to get my husband out for lunch or some kind of outing (Home Depot, Cabellas) so I will have some respite. They are truly amazing.
Starling, what a good start! in notime you will have face to face with some new friends. isnt it nice some folks are just too wonderful and truly are a blessing. you did right by accepting. divvi
And isn't it sad for those who don't want to admit they have a situation to deal with (denial). Look how fortnuate you are. I have people calling a couple of times a week offering rides to the store, to play cards, to church. I am just amazed. What wonderful people are out there.
How does it feel to be a project? It feels wonderful. Someone out there cares. I'm not as alone as I was. So far I've had a couple of visits and a couple of phone calls, and even if that is all that comes out of this, and I don't think it will be, that is a lot more than I had before it started.
Starling--That's good! I hope I didn't offend you. I didn't mean to. I'm reallyhappy that someone is doing something for you, rather than you doing all the doing for someone else.
Mawzy you didn't offend. It was a great question and one I needed to think about. I'm overjoyed to be someone's project. I think that at least one of the couples that started this group needed help and couldn't find any when she first moved here. Because they are gathering a lot of people, no one will be overburdened and all kinds of good connections will be built up in the community. It is a win-win-win situation for everyone.
And all I had to do was say yes when I was asked if it was OK to contact the organizer in my behalf.