blah blah Welcome to a site that will be of great help to you. I do not have a spouse in a long term facility, but many here do.
Go to the message board and see topic with Sticky next to it and you will see CaregiverLife With Spouse in Facility. Click on , read and you can add a comment there. I am certain you will get some good responses from caring members.
blahblah@60, It will be 3 yrs for me in March and I too am still having difficulty in coping. I don't think the guilt I feel will ever go away. When I placed him I knew for a fact that I could no longer caregive 24/7. We just plod along and take it a day at time. Please remember that the ALZ monster is not our fault. You will find lots of caring and understanding about your feelings on Joans' website and everyone will be here for you without judgment. We can only do what we think is the best for us and our spouses but sometimes the heart overrules reality and for me that is why placement is still so difficult. Hang in there blahblah@60 and my heart is with you. (((Hugs)))
I placed my DN 9mo. ago. We had discussed the possibility of either of us entering a LTC facility if the other could no longer care for the other. I kept my DH at home untilh e could no longer walk. He knew it was time , I do not feel any guilt, I did all I could do.I do visit him almost every day.And as Nikki says ,I play the Mama Bear Role.Please do not let any guilt eat at you.We are not to blame for our spouses illness.
Welcome to my website. I am on my way out, and promise to give you a proper welcome when I return, but I wanted to acknowledge your post.
I placed my husband 5 months ago, and have written many blogs since then on the devastating effect it has had on me. Some are still on the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com- but the rest are archived in the previous blog section on the left side of the home page. Click on previous blogs, 2013, August, and then September.
Hi blah blah welcome My DH went into LTC on his own about 5 months ago and I had no say in it but it was the best thing for me and for him. I still feel a great loss and I am having trouble adjusting to his not living here with me. I am unable to go everyday as he has lots of activities that he attends and sometimes he feels that I will interfere with them. I try to go every couple of days but with the bad weather it is difficult. We talk every night on the computer so we see each other on line everyday. That seems to help him. I don't think I will ever get over this change in my life. I still cry quite a lot but try not to I front of him. I don't like my new life at all. I guess I am in deep mourning for him and what was. Will it get better? I just don't know. I sure hope so. I have no interest in joining clubs or taking courses right now. I just prefer to be alone.
As promised, I want to officially welcome you to my website. I started this website in 2007 because I couldn't find anyone who would talk about how I felt - I thought I was the only one feeling the way I did about what Alzheimer's Disease was doing to my marriage. I needed a place that dealt with my unique issues as a spouse of an Alzheimer patient. This site is now a place of comfort for spouses/partners who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife/partner. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse/partner with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse/partner.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience".
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
Look at the top of this page, and click on the discussion - Caregiver Life with Spouse in Residence - It is specific to those of us who have spouses in a long term care facility. We discuss every emotion related to this most difficult way to live.
This is to say "Thank You" to all who commented on my recent submission about my DH being in a NH. I appreciated all the kind words but changed my username . I could not get in to my other name on this site (blahblah60).