My DH is home and I care for him alone. He's beginning to forget how to walk, even with my help and my telling him to lift each foot. When he can no longer walk at all and is bedridden, what do I need to buy that will help lift him so I can keep him clean with his bowel and urine movements? I'm not strong enough to lift him by myself.
Check with Hospice. We had a speaker form a hospice group at our AZ support group and she said most people wait far too long to call them. See if you are eligible. My DH is totally confined to bed and is in a hospital bed. If hospice can't provide one, you can rent one from a "Durable Medical Equipment" company. I couldn't care for him without it. I do have Hospice and have learned from their aides how to roll him, diaper him, and bathe him. Changing all the sheets and waterproof pads is a little trickier but can be done. He has not been out of the hospital bed since he got in it on October 15th.
A doctor would write a prescription that says, "Evaluate for Hospice Care" With that in hand, you call Hospice providers. They will want a copy of the order from the doctor.. and I did give them Xerox copies. I needed it for the second evaluation.
In my case, the first one turned him down, and four days later, a second one admitted him.. and he lived six more weeks. I couldn't help myself, I called the first provider afterward, and suggested they retrain the nurse that makes those decisions. She was really not interested in checking him, she just wanted to "see my house", if you can believe it. I learned how she once had a nice home, but her husband died and she couldn't keep up the payments, dah dah dah..... very unprofessional.
Just be prepared to call more than one if the first one turns you down. They don't do EVERYTHING, but they will come and bathe, shave and dress him. Usually, she'd be at my house about an hour. Every few weeks, a nurse came to check on him.. and a doctor came one time.
Others have different services. Just depends on how much help you need. If Hospice is on board, the meds will come from them, and you will not be using his regular doctor anymore.
if he does not qualify for hospice, you might look into in-home help a couple days a week and let them show you how to turn him to bath, clean, and change the bed
DH was turned down twice by Hospice even though he could not get out of bed, could not walk, could barely speak. I did get home health and it helped some. He was finally approved by Hospice for 3 days in an in-house unit - but just for me for respite. But after two days in that unit they found a nursing home for him - and followed him there - and he was gone within 11 days. Every hospice is different - but just keep trying.
Make sure if you do call Hospice. That you let your husband be himself. Don't get him ready or coach him on any thing that is going on. Let them see the real DH. They were awesome help for me. We were on for 10 mons and I could not have done it without them. Our nurse came once a week, and I had someone I could call 24/7. Later an aide came to do the shaving and bathing. Our PCP was the one who ordered it for us. His neurologist never thought he was that bad off. Thought he would live much longer.
Totally agree with all the comments about hospice. Plus, as a practical matter, my husband quit walking, but could still be transferred with TWO people in and out of a wheelchair and we also bought him a shower chair---it is like a wheelchair but goes in shower. Actually, hospice bought it! So he is not totally bedridden yet----just wanted to point out that not walking may not mean bedridden yet, but in my DH's case, I can see we are not far off.
I am so grateful for all the comments and suggestions. It's hard to figure out what's needed and when it's needed. My DH's doctor has the reputation of thinking older people have lived a long life already and have no quality of life left. That seems to be our experience with the doctor also. The most important thing I've found is for me to stay very involved! Sad though, because I'm not medical and don't know what's available to make life easier and the doctor doesn't suggest anything. I ask the doctor a direct question of "What is available?" His answer? "Well, if you're real poor, a lot". He said he hadn't kept up with services in the area. Then, our few minutes with the dr. was over. Have thought of changing doctors, but after 19 years, it would take a new doctor a long time to know details of DH's medical and don't know if DH has that much time left. Decided it might be best to just stay very, very involved.
Carolyn, you will find much more information here than at any doctor's office. I've been here almost 6 years now and have learned so much that I've been able to help others who can't come here because they don't do computers.
Carolyn, I am firmly convinced that a large majority of doctors are clueless about AL care so they try to convince us that we and our loved ones are not important because we are old. We know there is no cure but he should have been compassionate and competent enough to provide you with resource information to get answers to your questions. Sorry to rant but IMHO caregivers live in the real world and most doctors live in the business(money) world. A Senior Center might help answer your questions if there is one in your area. Also a call to Adult Social Services may get you some info. Calling a Home Health agency might also help. Good luck Carolyn, if not for this website I would feel so alone in this journey but everyone here understands.
Carolyn, do you have the same doctor as your DH. If not he may help. Also you can just call the hospice place and sometimes they will evaluate and them get in touch with doctor. I haven't had hospice for my DH but I was a home health nurse during my career nd it works about the same. They will provide a hoyer lift, if they deem it necessary.
Carolyn, you need to know that a lot of what is provided by Medicare is LARGE. Space is often a problem. One of my close friends had to move almost everything out of her husband's bedroom to accomodate his bed and chair. A hoyer lift really takes a lot of space, if and when they are needed. (When they cannot get out of bed with your help).
Re: doctors and long-time history. Most new doctors can catch up really fast on a person's health situation. Sometime, it is better if the doctor is new., he'll look a lot closer at the patient. I moved two years ago, and I love my doctor who is new., but extremely thorough and I think he has been able to help me more than my former doctor who knew me for years. If you are not happy with his doctor, there is nothing wrong with going to a new one.
Finally, I don't think many doctors know what Hospice actually does, what is available through Medicare and Medicaid.. that's not their business. You should contact the Council on Ageing for your area, or even visit with a Hospice Center, whether you are enlisting their aid right now or not. They do this every day and they can help you immensely.
Bless you. You'll make it., .. just like the rest of us have!! We are strong women!