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      CommentAuthorCrushed
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2014
     
    Ocean Dawn

    Footsteps in the sand
    Stretch back till time began
    And forward lies a path
    We cannot know

    But here and now we walk
    And love and laugh and talk
    And give each other life
    And love and hope

    The birds are singing near
    The touch of dawn is here
    The golden sun is climbing
    In the sky

    For all must walk this way
    Draw pleasure every day
    And leave the dark and cold
    behind your back

    My love and I have come
    From dark and cold to sun
    And now we feel the warmth
    upon our hands

    We have this day to live
    Our love and hope to give
    And we will gather treasure
    while we can

    While there is breath in man
    We make life what we can
    And take the sun and sand
    and sea and sky

    We take them for our own
    Our life our love our home
    And we will walk together
    You and I

    March 10 2011
  1.  
    Crushed--may I presume to offer:

    And when it's time to part,
    You'll remain within my heart,
    Until we are together
    Once again.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCrushed
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2014
     
    I am afraid that we have no belief whatever in any kind of afterlife or any kind of cosmic spirit. This life is whatever we make of it.
    I'm well aware that those beliefs are comforting to many
    I met DW over 40 years ago and she has filled my life with joy and love and children.
    We have both had meaningful work that is known around the world. She was the smartest girl I ever met.
    While her brilliant intellect has foundered like a ship on a reef, her warmth and love are still intact.
    I will hold on to them to the end. But when it's gone, its gone.

    I am with Dylan Thomas on this point

    Do not go gentle into that good night,
    Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  2.  
    Crushed, your journey is still young. For some of us, Alzheimer's brings us to our knees again and again trying to break us. Sometimes it succeeds.
    Dylan Thomas' words can be inspirational to those walking the normal path of life, or when applied to Alzheimer's, a script for horror.
    This never occurred to me until I embarked on (or was I hijacked?) this particular path.
    Many of us pray for the kindness of our loved ones going gently into that good night.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCrushed
    • CommentTimeJan 14th 2014
     
    Perhaps you misunderstand me. My mother died of vascular dementia.
    I know the pain of those who care for bodies whose minds are gone.
    Life is consciousness and will. When those are gone, they are gone.
    I was reacting to the suggestion that I could be consoled by the thought
    that we could be "together" some time in the future.
    • CommentAuthorAmber
    • CommentTimeJan 14th 2014
     
    Crushed - something to think about...if your wife goes the route my hubby has (he just went into LTC)...he doesn't realize there is anything wrong with him now, anosognosia. In the beginning he did realize he was forgetful but attributed it to old age...he's 78 and I'm 56...but as the disease progressed he isn't in denial he just isn't aware what is happening (he forgot). Which I think is a good thing. So your wife may just forget there is anything wrong with her. Right now I can't begin to imagine what your wife is feeling with being a high academic and then get hit with this disease. In my mind I'll still be "with it" till I'm dead and gone, but who knows, it all is the luck of the draw. Such a sad, life sucking disease. The Long Goodbye.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJan 14th 2014
     
    Thanks for your poetry. Had you said somewhere that you are a writer? If not, then you have majored in English? I was saddened to read of the death of Seamus Heaney.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCrushed
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2014 edited
     
    For Amber DW is a physician. She knows. She had 3 full neuro-cognitive evaluations over the last 4 years and she read the reports in detail. When we got the report that first used the term dementia as a diagnosis she spotted the word immediately. She knows her license expires this year and she cannot renew it because she can't pass CMEs She helped as my mother died with dementia.

    I don't know if sex is a taboo subject here (It doesn't seem to get mentioned) but she makes love with me with a frequency and an intensity that tells me it makes her feel young and healthy and full of promise.
  3.  
    Sex isn't taboo. I'm glad you and she are still able to give each other that gift.
  4.  
    Crushed, So glad that you and your wife still are able to be a loving couple. For us sex ended almost totally several years before DH dx. And his ability to know who I was ended soon after his dx. So my caregiving time was spent with a man who had no idea who I was, beyond being the nice lady.

    Enjoy this time together,
    • CommentAuthorAmber
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2014
     
    Crushed - I was referring to when she is much further along in this disease. I'm glad hubby doesn't realized how many skills he has now lost.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2014
     
    Crushed - there are threads where we discuss the sex issue so it is not taboo. That is the uniqueness of this site - we are spouses/partners of someone with dementia. Sex is part of it. For us my husband started having ED problems probably 20 years ago. Viagra did nothing for him. It has now been probably 10 years since he was able. he no longer even knows what it is about even though he is not that far along. For him it was one of the first memories to go I think.
    • CommentAuthorxox
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2014
     
    Yes, we talk about sex it. Usually either the sex drive disappears or goes into overtime. Many caregivers find that they don't enjoy the sex due to changes in the relationship, the loss of abilities of their spouse, depression, or that the sex now seems impersonal or uncaring. If you both are enjoying the sex then go for it. It becomes a problem when she is interested and you have lost interest. My wife is still interested, more so than me. But she has lost so much of her life so I am not going to deny her.