My youngest daughter is getting married tomorrow. I have made arrangements for a friend to pick dh up just as if he was going to " work " ( his day care) early in the morning I usually drop him off at 7:15 so I can get to work by 8. My friend and her husband will then keep him till it is time to attend the wedding, they will bring him, and after we walk her down the isle together they will help me watch him through the event. I am ever so grateful to them of course, but I feel guilty sending him away in the morning . I just need to get over it right? There is nothing useful he could do... And so much commotion going on. Thanks for listening, just feeling a bit overwhelmed, it is so bittersweet.
This is brilliant - and you are right to feel blessed to have friends willing to help like this. This day is your daughter's and she deserves your attention.
I follow your blog about some of the crushing challenges that life has handed you and your amazing faith. You should not feel guilty about anything. This is a day of celebration that the Lord has made and you are wisely, and with forethought, managing damage control. You are thinking of everyone else here in planning a celebration with appropriate care and involvement for DH. Congratulations to you and the newlyweds.
With all of the sadness we all share on this site, celebrating a wedding with you is a gift - reminding us that life goes on and can be good. Thank you.
Our daughter was married on May 11th this year. It was out of state. I had an army of family and friends to keep DH occupied all day and help him get ready for the wedding. They all helped during the reception. He did the father daughter dance. Then through out the evening we would see him just dance across the floor. He had a great time. I had a great time spending the day getting ready with our daughter and her bridesmaids. You should not feel guilty. If he were fine you would spend that time doing things without him on that day. This is a special day enjoy it and he will too. We did have a few ups and downs that's week, but I wouldn't have changed anything. Good luck and congratulations!
I think this is a very good plan I would be very concerned that he would get tired out if he came any earlier to the wedding. It is very nice of your friends to help so you can enjoy the wedding.
Sherizee, enjoy your daughter and the precious time you will share before she transitions to "mrs". Your plan is well thought out and considerate of your husband. No reason to feel guilty. Just enjoy the special day!
Sherizee ... as others have already said, there is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty. As with so much we do as caregivers, you are simply doing what needs to be done so both you and your husband can enjoy your daughter's wedding. It is what it is, right? So ... go and enjoy!
Have a wonderful time and please understand that you have also made the best possible arrangements so that Bob can be comfortable in his surroundings. The sun shines on the bride and her proud parents. Here's to a beautiful day!
Your plan sounds great...DH will have a lot of attention given him. I think you can look forward to a wonderful wedding and with positive vibes, I think you are all going to have a wonderful time..Congratulations to the bride and groom..
DH was in a care facility when our son married. We hired one of his caregivers from the facility to get him all ready and bring him to the wedding which was not nearby. Too far for family or friends to do it. The cg asked if he could bring his 7 y.o. daughter, we said 'yes' she was all dressed pretty in pink, her first wedding and very well behaved, she had a wonderful time. The CG kept close tabs on DH when necessary, DH & I walked son down the aisle, he sat quietly during the ceremony, behaved very well and enjoyed himself immensely. Afterwards when everyone left, the CG took him back to the facility.
I had spoken to son & his fiancee about it and we decided that if DH acted up, we would just stop the proceedings, deal with it and then go on with things, all in attendance knew the situation and it was our current life, we didn't plan to hide it, it was what it was. But he was fine and the rest of us were comfortable knowing he was there, in the photos, participating and we had professional help whom he knew if need be.
Feel sad and a little bad if need be, but 'guilt?' -- no way.
I found your telling of your son's wedding and how you prepared for it and how it turned out so beautiful. No stigma there and it must have been so wonderful for you to have him beside you. You and your family sound so caring and loving. It fills my heart!!
Thank you so much for asking, and all the support. The plan worked out perfectly.I am so blessed to have friends willing to take on such a task. I waited till they pulled up in the drive way before for telling him he was going with them, used the excuse that there were to many items to take with me and people to Fit in the car, and that I would meet him there.He wasnt very happy about it, but just kind of led him out the door, and my friends husband to help with his tie. Of course he was confused at the wedding, but he was able to do the father daughter dance which was so important to my daughter. My friends watched over him through out the event so could do the running around. There were small oops here and. There but certainly a very successful , beautiful, and love filled day. :) Thank you all again so much .
Sherizee, I am so very happy all was well and you and your husband got to enjoy your daughter's special day. You're so blessed to have such good and caring friends.