I'm posting a link to an excellent article in the Kansas City Star which came to my attention through the Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration. I don't think the wife in this article is part of our little (or maybe not so little) family here, but I sure wish there was a way to let her know we are here for her. This article is a bit depressing to read before the holidays, but then when is dementia not depressing? Here it is:
"Randy stands in the kitchen and stares off." (The first photo)
For me, it is not enough to say "intense". I felt my heart meet my stomach that's how strong this trigger was. I looked away from the screen and out the window and things kind of turned over.
Probably the last photos taken of my husband would have been in about 2008. Certainly none after 2010. I recently came across one of the later ones. Although it did not compare to Randy's, or to the looks I would later get that were like that, it was, nevertheless, different. I looked at it for quite some time and still can't pinpoint it. The closest I can come is that his eyes looked off, maybe off-focus.
So far, I have only looked at the first series of 34 photos. What courage the family has to share their story! I know that past, present and future I would never have that kind of courage.
My son and daughter-in-law live in Olathe, KS. They read the article and said it was like talking to me the last several years. Although my DH didn't suffer from FTD, Alz dementia produced the same effects. I waited until DH couldn't be left alone for almost two years and that was too long. We were much older than the couple in the article. Looking back, I can see how exhausted I was, dealing with incontinence, sleepless nights, delusions and paranoia. Placement was the most difficult thing I had ever done. I never thought I would live through it. All I could do was pray for wisdom and courage to see me through. DH adjusted quite well to his new home; lives in the moment...no past, no future. I wonder what he thinks about. He seems to be content in his new home with new family.