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    • CommentAuthordwgriff
    • CommentTimeDec 14th 2013 edited
     
    When we asked the RN at the nursing home, she said that my wife Miriam will most likely live through the night.
    But the end is very close, very close.
    It has been a long struggle, almost 15 years from the first diagnosis. The last year has shown severe changes, the last month even more.
    The family -- all 4 of our daughters and most of the spouses and grandchildren -- will gather Sunday next for a "Mom celebration." We all want to celebrate this wonderful mother and grandmother and the life she shared with us.
    Even though I have had long years to think about it, I still am not sure of my thoughts. My emotions are all over the place.


    dave
    • CommentAuthorAliM
    • CommentTimeDec 14th 2013
     
    dwgriff My heart is with you during this heartbreaking time. 15 years is a long time for you and your dear Miriam to endure this struggle. No amount of preparation can prepare us for the finalatiy of losing a loved one. Your "Mom celebration sounds like a wonderful idea. Hopefully you and your family will remember the happy times of your Miriams' life. So sorry and all of us at Joan's site will be here for you.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2013
     
    Sorry Dave prayers for peaceful passing.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAnchor20*
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2013
     
    Dave, know that I am thinking about you and your family and praying for you all to have the strength you will need to get though this difficult time.

    JimB
  1.  
    Dave, having just gone through this so recently, my heart goes out to you. Your "Mom celebration" is so caring and, hopefully, will help you all through this time of loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
    • CommentAuthordwgriff
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2013
     
    The mom celebration, as the name implies, was created by one of our daughters and nourished by the others.
    Losing Miriam is not easy, but I really lost her a while back and began losing her years ago. My memory overflows with good memories.
    Right now I feel lost and will for a while, I suppose.
    We had 55 good years and a couple that weren't so good.
    I am blessed.

    dave
  2.  
    dwgriff
    You are in what I call the twilight time. Caught between wanting this to be over and not ready to let go. All I can say it that I wish peace to all of you.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2013
     
    Dear Dave, you've been on this road a long time. I remember you from when I first joined. All of us have grown to love you and your family. God bless.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2013
     
    My thoughts are with you Dave. As Mary said that's a long time. I wish you strength.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2013
     
    wishing your dear Miriam a very peaceful passing Dave. you will be in our thoughts.
    divvi
  3.  
    I too wish for a peaceful passing and prayers to you and the family.
    • CommentAuthordwgriff
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2013
     
    Tonight may be the last night.
    If it is not the last, the last is very soon.
    Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers.
    We have 4 wonderful daughters who are also my strength!
    Today, I have received texts and emails from all daughters and a good number of our 11 grandkids.
    Though the love of my life is going, I am surrounded by love and i am so grateful.

    dave
  4.  
    dave, just feel the love that surrounds you - from your own family and from this family.
    • CommentAuthorLFL
    • CommentTimeDec 16th 2013
     
    Dave, I wish your dear wife a peaceful passing. You are blessed with 4 loving daughters and your grandchildren. My heart and prayers go out to each of you during this difficult time.
  5.  
    Dave all the years and thinking and preparing are don't come close to the reality of the the event. Be thankful you're surrounded by loving family and all the support, thoughts and prayers of those of use here. May your wife's passing be peaceful.
  6.  
    Oh Dave, lots of prayers for you and your family for a peaceful and quiet passing. It is wonderful to have so much love and support and I am sure that your wife is aware of all the love around her. Your Mom celebration sounds like a wonderful tribute to a wonderful woman. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  7.  
    dave I am sending out love and prayers your way too.
  8.  
    Thinking of you, Dave, at this very difficult and even confusing time. It is wonderful you have your daughters with you at this farewell. I like the idea of your celebration for Mom...May it bring you peace.
  9.  
    Dave I too am sending hugs and prayers.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJudithKB*
    • CommentTimeDec 16th 2013
     
    It seems that the Holiday season can bring such sorrow. Your celebration sounds so wonderful for your family. Know that many on this site know exactly what you are feeling.
    • CommentAuthordwgriff
    • CommentTimeDec 16th 2013 edited
     
    She made it through the night. This morning she had a fever but not a lot of pain. They gave her some Tylenol in a suppository.

    When I kissed her and told her I loved her she made a few little grunts that said "I love you too." We had a conversation on that level.

    She knows she is loved and she is not in pain, as far as we can tell. Though she is still with us, the end is still coming soon. She cannot swallow even water and they have to swab out her mouth from time to time. She is so thin and of course is losing weight daily.

    Today I began my period of official morning by having my hair cut very short. I also shaved off my mustache and beard. I have had a mustache most of my adult life. The Big Book talks about putting on Sack Cloth and Ashes. This is my little gesture.

    Thanks for your prayers.

    dave
    • CommentAuthorabby* 6/12
    • CommentTimeDec 16th 2013
     
    Although this happened before * with my husband, my best friend died in 2003 and I read about a practice of shaving off eyebrows. I did not do that but decided to no longer wear eye cosmetics, which in truth I had enjoyed.

    To this day sometimes I am asked why I do not enhance my "look" and I never really explain the reason. But I feel good inside that I remember in that way.

    Sending you prayers and best wishes.
    • CommentAuthorAliM
    • CommentTimeDec 16th 2013
     
    dave, It appears that you are soldiering through this sad time with dignity. Prayers continue to be with you and your family.
  10.  
    Dave perform whatever gesture it takes to thank and to show respect to the Lord for a providing a death with dignity,You and your wife have been blessed. Cherish the moments remaining. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours
  11.  
    Dave-you have been with us almost from the beginning. Finally now comes your time of peace. We stand with you.
    • CommentAuthordwgriff
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013 edited
     
    Last night we lost her.
    The end was quite swift and without any pain or anguish on her side.
    Being there put an end to that part of the experience. I have a lot of grieving to do yet, but I have time.
    Family planned a week or more ago to gather next sunday for a meal and a special 'Mom's Celebration.' All of the daughters and most of the grandkids will be here including my sister. We will celebrate a wonderful woman's life.
    Thanks to everyone for the support.

    dave
  12.  
    My sympathy to you and your family, Dave. You were a real warrior and deserve your * now. A peaceful ending is what we all want and I'm so glad hers was that. I know your 'Mom's Celerbration' will be wonderful. God bless.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013
     
    Dave, my thoughts and heart are with you and your family. That it was a swift passing without pain or anguish was a blessing. God bless.
    • CommentAuthorabby* 6/12
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013
     
    Dave,

    I am sorry for you loss. Thankfully it was quick and without pain. I hope your family gathering will be a comfort to all.
    • CommentAuthorJazzy
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013
     
    Have a great family celebration for your lovely Lady..

    Jazzy
  13.  
    Dave- What a blessing to be with your dear wife when she passed. Enjoy the wonderful memories that you shared together. May you soon find the peace that surpasses understanding.
  14.  
    Dave my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope that you have a wonderful celebration honoring your sweet wife. Hugs.
    • CommentAuthorElaineH
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013
     
    Dave, my heart hurts for you. It was a blessing that you were able to be with her when she passed. My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013
     
    Dave, I am sorry for your loss. May you and your family find peace.
  15.  
    I am so sorry, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
    • CommentAuthorAliM
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013
     
    Dave, Sorry for the loss of your dear Miriam. I wish a joyful celebration of her life for you and your family.
    • CommentAuthordwgriff
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013 edited
     
    We have a wonderful supporting family. 4 superb daughters, 3 sons in law, 7 grandsons and 4 granddaughters.

    Right now I am in Washington where Miriam has been. When the family all go home and I go back to Idaho really alone, that is when likely feel the pinch. I am an artist and don''t mind being alone, most of the time. In Idaho I live in the town where I was born, when to school up to High School, met and Married Miriam, most of that time a member of the same church.

    Even with all of this the finality of Miriam's passing will be a tough one.

    Today we called on the funeral home to make final arrangements. We will have a memorial service for her in our Idaho Church, but probably not until March. Every stop reminded me that this is not a rehearsal, this is the real thing.

    dave
    • CommentAuthorElaine K
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013
     
    It seems like heaven has been welcoming so many of our loved ones during these last few weeks. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I know it means the world to you that you were with her at the end. Perhaps that is the greatest blessing of all. Peace and strength to you and your family.
  16.  
    So sorry for your loss. Even when we do know what the outcome will be, and no matter how hard or long we grieved the gradual losses experienced by our LOs, when our LO is finally set free of their sufferings, ours begin anew with the realization of it all.
    Your celebration on Sunday sounds like a wonderful gathering of loved ones to celebrate your wife. It will be so rewarding to all.
    Blessings and Peace be yours.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013
     
    Dave, I'm sorry for your loss.
  17.  
    My sympathy to you and your family, Dave. A blessing that it was quick and without pain.
    • CommentAuthorBama*2/12
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2013
     
    Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family.
    • CommentAuthorLFL
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2013
     
    Dave, I too am sorry for your loss. What a wonderful tribute to your dear Miriam with the "Mom Celebration". Blessings to you and your daughters.
  18.  
    Dave, sorry for your loss. Glad you have supportive family.
  19.  
    So sorry for the loss of your loved one. So happy for her freedom from this disease. God's peace as you continue on until you will be reunited in a place where disease can't touch you ever again!
    • CommentAuthorAdmin
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2013
     
    Dave,

    I am so very sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

    joang
  20.  
    Dave, As difficult as this is, hold on to these facts: She is free; you were with her all the way; and your family supports you. The love endures. Peace be with all of you. HUGS.
  21.  
    So sorry, Dave.
    •  
      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2013
     
    Dave, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Miriam ((hugs))
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2013
     
    So sorry Dave for you loss. I am happy about the 'celebration' of her life. A dear Facebook friend that touched my heart and 'got it' so we had an instant connection passed the 14th. Her daughter is stressing about the memorial service. I told her to relax and not worry about it being perfect. It is to celebrate her life and the love she shared with all. The same with you - you are going to celebrate the love she share with you, the kids, grandkids and friends. I have gone to way too many funerals and memorials (comes with aging). The ones that I remember the most and touched me are the ones where people celebrate the person not spend the time crying over their loss. There will be time for tears after but I believe that boost of sharing the love that person added to your life is so precious to recovery.