It has been a rough year for me, and the last four months since Sid's placement have been particularly difficult. As you may have noticed, my blogs have either been about my difficulty adjusting to placement or they have been non-existent. It has been extremely hard for me to pull myself together to work or write or do anything. I invite you to log onto the home page and read my newest blog - Reflections. Please post comments here. Thank you.
With all you have had going on,I thank you for all your blogs. To the ones whom had already placed their LO, they gave the assurance that the despair was OK and that they did what was necessary. To us whom were going thru placement at the same time as you, we felt your pain and we too wondered if we could have held out longer.It was not an easy decision.And to those who will have to make a decision in the future, you offered encouragement that they will survive.And yes, 6 mo. after placement I still miss the closeness of my dear husband.These first Holidays without him will be very difficult.Joan, you are a gem to all of us.Thanks
Joan you've always been a positive thinker. Sid's still here! With all the heartache involved with his placement your life has been made much easier for you from a purely physical standpoint to cope with. You've got some things to be thankful for!! Making a single life, reviving old friendships, making new ones, I've come to learn the hard way, the pathway can be greatly facilitated with the help and good guidance well trained grief therapists and groups. The pain of sleeping alone won't ever disappear, nor will your love of Sid. The loss of my beloved wife of 53 years remains a great void in my life, I'm learning not to spend 24hrs a day peering into that void. I can assure you there is another life out there beyond the cloistered existence of caregiving.
Joan, I think you are a wonder woman for all you have accomplished. No apologies are necessary. Your blogs are always very informative and interesting. Take care of yourself, and thank you for this wonderful site.
I have read all of your blogs since joining in 2008 as well as the comments to them. Some applied to my situation at the time, others applied later. They all kept me going. As Moon* said, no apologies from you are necessary. Sid's physical problems were really what pushed you over the edge. Like Stu and I, you had a great marriage, a real love affair and, in some respects, I believe this makes the separation more difficult for us. You are stronger than you think you are and you will find your life again.
Joan, your blogs have been an inspiration and a great help. No need to apologize for anything. When you say "it isn't about me"--well, of course it is. And that's fine. It's about you, about me, about all of us. Hang in there, and keep the blogs coming when you are able. Just don't discontinue this website, whatever you do. It's just about the only thing that keeps me going at times. Blessings!
NEVER any need to apologize for anything, Joan. Your site has helped so many of us so often, and your recent blogs have continued to be very helpful to many. So no apologies, please! Just hang in there as best you can with your own situation, and please continue to provide the support we all now take for granted by visiting your site!
I am not posting too much anymore, but this is still the first place I come to when I am home from my trips to town, and when I am able to be home, the first place I visit with my cup of coffee in the a.m. Love to you Joan.
Dear Joan. I so agree with others that no apologies are necessary. It is most welcome to see your posts when you have the energy for them. When you do not, I understand completely and support you in that.
The rawness you shared of your experiences so echo mine and it was SO helpful to know someone else was waking this horrible path. You noted, "There are days when I take a step forward, and days when I take two steps backwards. I admire those of you who have adjusted so much better than I to placement. We are a diverse group, and thus slog our way through in whatever manner suits us."
My husband went into care one year and 10 months ago, and there are still days when I take one step forward, and many two steps back. Slogging our way through this for sure. We all do cope individually. It is so hard.
Again, let me thank each and every one of you for sharing on this amazing site. I truly do not know what would have happened to me had I not found this fabulous resource two years ago. Much love to all.
There's nothing I can add, except "what they said'! It's important to me to be able to read the raw, unedited & exposed feelings, "adventures" & experiences of others. It really does help! Yesterday (& the days before that), I was really feeling alone. I see things here that are expressed so beautifully, honestly, so what I need at the time - I am not alone. Thank you for this blog, Joan.