The home that evicted us (after another LTC eviction & 18 day stay in a geri-psych that failed) hasn't given me an answer as to whether they will accept him back and visiting him at his second stay at geri-phych stay #2, this one for 14 days has me reeling from the sharp decline. Tonight he couldn't feed himself due to closing his eyes almost throughout the visit. I can't tell if this is sudden decline from the disease, the antiphsycotic drugs and depekote they insisted on to make his mood stable, or all the trauma of all the sudden moves. The hospital is an hour away. They are releasing him Tuesday and I don't know yet which of two place we are going. SInce he doesn't even know we were evicted from the LTC he was in for three years, I don't even know what to tell him - we are going home, but not to a home he knows or people he knows. Maybe that's what jinxed the last move to the new facility were he lasted 72 hours before hitting a nurse and a resident. They have him almost comatose now, so perhaps I can stop worrying that the whole thing will happen again and then we won't find placement anywhere. I've been having panic attacks the since Aug. where I wake up with my heart feeling like its pounding out of my chest. Dr. finally gave me some Ativan, but it starts up again. Tonight, his condition and decline in this last geri-psych stay saddened me so much, all I can do is cry. Somehow, tomorrow, I need to be able, once I know if the the nursing home will take us, to move his stuff to a different unit (though as comatose as he's acting, I can't imagine why they think he needs a behavior unit, instead of the AD unit). And if they reject us, I will need to move his stuff to another nursing home that's accepted us. It has a lousy rating, but after weeks of searching and being rejected by others, these are my options. Then I have to decide if I drive up and help him prepare for the ambulance ride there and meet him to help him adjust to new place on Tues. Should I tell him we are going to a new place, that we lost our other place? He has no idea about any of this, just that he's been in the hospital and "sick" and can leave when he's well. Tonight just made me sick - he can't draw like he's been doing all along, couldn't even look at his books or focus on the TV. Couldn't get out more that 4 words with the increased aphasia. Steep decline. And the nurse kept telling me she likes him better on these new drugs, and doesn't notice any of it. He had the eye closing & decline the other two times Depekote was forced on us, which stopped when it was withdrawn. I wanted them to try Neurontin instead, but she is head of Pysch there, and said if he behavior wasn't controlled no one would take him. And she has a reputation of not zombifying folks, unlike another hospital a lot closer. Both nursing home options will keep her as his doctor.The losses are stunning and I am very sad.
mariposa, I am so sorry you're going through this. As I said before, your experience almost mirrors ours 5 years ago. It's too bad the the dr won't try Neurontin, because it actually has worked very well for my husband. In fact, when they increased the Neurontin to help stabilize his behaviors, they cut back on the Seroquel which is a good thing.
I wish there was more I could say to console you...other than talking to an omnbudsman, I'm out of ideas. (((HUGS))))
I am also sorry you and your husband are continuing to go through such high stress and uncertainty.
You said: "I don't even know what to tell him - we are going home, but not to a home he knows or people he knows. Maybe that's what jinxed the last move to the new facility were he lasted 72 hours before hitting a nurse and a resident." Perhaps not telling him much of anything might be helpful. The fear of the unknown may contribute to his anxiety and he shows it by violent actions. In my husband's case, when he was transferred from rehab to ALF it really did not register with him that he was in a different place even though they were very different. Yes, he continued to be argumentative but did not act out.
He did not do well on Depakote and it had been discontinued by then. He never had Neurontin. Ativan was his go to. And, he was taking Respiradol by that time.
Yes, as you are experiencing for yourself, Ativan is quick acting but of short duration. You might want to ask your doc about BuSpar (buspirone) for you. It is a different drug family and IIRC its dosage is at least daily.
Thank you. The home he lasted in 3 days before re-hospitialization took him back - finally told me today. He comes back tomorrow. Glad, as they are well rated and 5 miles away. Just hoping he can make it through the adjustment period without anything going wrong. After the last three months, I just need him to settle in and be able to work myself. Trying to take one day at a time. Hopefully this psychiatrist will try some further adjustments later.
As I read your sad story......... I think most of us are much too concerned about our spouse's medication. There's really not much we can do about it anyway. The doctors who specialize in these cases have lots of experience in this. When my dear Helen was very aggressive at one stage, hitting, biting, and kicking, they kept changing her meds until they calmed her down, but I don't know what they were giving her.
Just go visit him when you can, and hold his hand if he will let you. That's all you can really do. Please don't worry so much about things that you can't control. The bad times do not last forever. I wish I could do more for you.................GeorgieBoy