Yikes! I interviewed for an article about marriage and Alzheimer's Disease back in July. I was expecting it to be a small article on the Everyday Health website. Well, it came out today, and it's streaming on AOL. I honestly don't think the reporter even knew it was going to get that kind of exposure.
Joan, on here and in the article you mentioned that medicaid would take most of Sid's SS leaving you with little. I know at one time you mentioned you might have to move. Is that still possible or did it get worked out so you have enough funds to stay where you are? Sure hope so.
After the Hell Medicaid put me through for almost a year, the situation worked out. All of their threats and admonitions that it was my "choice" to be homeless (i.e. Too bad if I couldn't live on so little money, etc.), the spousal diversion program allowed me enough to stay where I am. As for living in a senior community - and I do mean senior - most of my neighbors are 80+ and over- it's not worth it for me to move. I have everything I need here - I don't cook; they deliver a dinner meal; I don't clean; they clean once a week; PT is in the Assisted Living building next door; all of my utilities, inside maintenance and outside maintenance are included in the rent. Because I am so short and my back is in such bad condition, I can't reach light bulbs or smoke detectors, and it's too dangerous for me to get on a step ladder - they do all of that for me. If the A/C breaks, they send out a repairman; if the roof leaks, they send out a repairman; they just painted all the shutters and outside doors; my dishwasher broke - they replaced it - all included in the monthly rent; the pool is 30 steps from my front door; So it's a trade off - no, I don't have "seniors" my own age (65) with whom to socialize, but I have everything else, so I look for socialization elsewhere. And this villa is a 2 bedroom, 2 bath, 1 car garage, little house with a screened in patio, so I have privacy.
Joan--this is interesting and it just shows how one must have someone close to them affected by AD in order for the reality of it to sink in. Yesterday, my new partner told me he read your story on AOL. He was only at the beginning reading about how your and Sid's lives were changing and he realized that Sid must have AD. He was quite surprised that I "know" you and it's your website that I participate in. Prior to knowing me, he would have read the story--however, it wouldn't have resonated like it did. Shows the importance of all of us telling our stories when we get the opportunity--good job!
I like the sound of your Villa, wouldn't mind living there myself. One thing for sure, eventually the residences will be your age. Haven't read your article yet. Good luck with it, it may lead to more. .Bonnie
Your article was very interesting. Some of the comments were something else! The little "discussion" about the role of mold...
I can't believe that Medicaid threatened you with homelessness. For me, the threat of Medicaid was one of the most emotionally exhausting aspects of all this. I had material from two different lawyers who disagreed with one another about what I should do and just could not believe it. There seemed to be no real alternatives anyway; that it was all hardship and interference no matter what way I looked at it. It sounds like it has resolved well for you.
I agree with Bonnie- where you are located sounds wonderful, and I would stay put too. I imagine it is relaxing and quiet.
About the article, I just wanted to mention this, in case it happens for anyone else, that I could not get to it through AOL so I googled your name and "everydayhealth" and found it that way.
I really enjoyed the article and found it put a real face on this disease, not something funny, not like the commercials on tv, and showing that it is a real disease, not just forgetting. The spouse issue is so very different, only us, and other spouses know. This is not to downplay the pain of a mother or father or aunt etc. , just to say how the pain is so very different. You really showed that Joan. Having watched my sister die and loving her so much, I honestly have to say that watching my mate disappear from dementia is so much harder.