John Hopkins Hospital hold training classes on dementia caregiver. The cost is free is you don't want to be certified. They will be doing another in a couple of weeks. I am just starting week 4 of a 5 week course. I have studied alot about AD in the 2 1/2 years since my husband was diagnosed. There are 3,200 people around the world in this class. One person recommended these books written about the stages of AD from a spouse perspective. I wanted to share this with you.
There's also the Rush Manual for Caregiver's -- it's excellent, chock full of information, but possibly a little overwhelming until your stepmother has a chance to adjust (if she truly is in denial).
Lakegirl, I too am taking the JHU class and I'm enjoying it very much. Have learned some new approaches in dealing with DH. How did you find the peer assessments? I found them quite interesting.