dh is back to having bowel incontinence and he has a habit of not telling me when this has happened. I find dirty, wet, destroyed undies hidden in the garage. He's had big accidents twice now when the housekeeper/caregiver has been here (PTL, she isn't squeamish about cleaning him up and he's ok with her cleaning him up). So, my question is, given that this problem is now happening more and more often, how have those of you who have had the same experiences with your lo's handle being in public with them. You can't keep them at home all the time, what about when you go to Adult Day Program or to friend's houses, etc , what do you do?
mother, we're starting this journey now too. I try to keep him on a schedule for both urine (not incontinent yet) and bowel. So, first thing in am he sits on the toilet. If he's not had a bowel movement within 20 mins, we get him showered, dressed, eating, etc. Then about 2 hours later we try again. If we're going to be home we try every 2-3 hours. I can usually tell when he has to go because he is very fidgety and thinks he has to pee instead of having a bowel movement.
I know that doesn't help you much but it's been working so far. I know with his schedule if he hasn't had a bowel movement that day, he's unlikely to have one and we go out. Now if I've given him something to stimulate it then we stay home just in case. Senna S takes 24 to 48 hours to work on my guy...organic apple cider works within a few hours. It's a guessing game and yes, we plan our days around it.
I was wondering this too. We have had our first 2 bowel accidents, one at Day Center and one last week at Walmart. EEK. Do you go into the rest with them? The mens or the womens? He went in to the rest room and I knew something was wrong when he didn't come out, LOL. I stood out side the bathroom calling is name. he eventually came out, but I knew all was not right. When I got him home I got confirmation of that. :(
Sherizeee, Boy, were you lucky with the Walmart incident. The first time my dh had a problem in public was at a movie theatre. He told me he had to go to the bathroom and by the time he got there I could see that he had a real problem. When he didn't come out within about 10 minutes I asked the girl at the counter for towels and went in to help him - yes the men's bathroom. We were in there for about 45 minutes and what a ghastly mess it was. Poop everywhere - we all know how awful a "blowout" is with a grown man! I had to clean him up, throw away his undies and socks, wash out his pants and t-shirt and shoes and have him put them back on. All the while he is apologizing to me for the mess and wanting to help (NO!). Then I had to clean the bathroom. I had this scenario happen at least 3 more times and I started giving him Immodium 2/day (as directed by his doctor) and a year and a half later he had a huge blockage and his kidneys were beginning to get stressed (this turned out to be another problem altogether). After being completely off all AD drugs like Namenda and Aricept for 6 months, his bowels came back under control - until now (about 1 1/2 year reprieve) as the disease has caught up with him.
LFL - I haven't been as observant about his bathroom habits as I should be because he won't tell me when he has to go and is resistant to being regulated. I will work on that because it is such a reasonable plan. Thank you
These stories about women in the men's rest room bring to my mind a little incident. My Helen was well into dementia but was still continent and while shopping at Costco she told me she needed to go to the bathroom, so I took her to the ladies rest room. After she came out I noticed she did not have her purse, so I sent her back in to get it. After about ten minutes she came out and said she couldn't find it. I didn't quite no what to do, but as we stood there talking about it a nice lady came out of the rest room and seemed to sense Helen's condition and asked if she could help us. I explained our problem to her and she went back into the rest room and returned promptly with the purse. Soon after this little incident. I had to quit taking her shopping with me. She was always trying to get away from me in the store and she was getting pretty good at it. ........................................GeorgieBoy
I know that all stores don't have them, but the newer stores have family rest rooms. I know the Walmart I go to has one in the back by the lay-a-way department. That's where I would take my DH & it was a lifesaver!
I'm with Elaine. Loved the WalMart family restrooms. It is unbelievable the places that don't have family restrooms like rest areas and some airports. I would just make impromptu plans for immediately after a BM until you can figure out his routine.