Bev, not only does she talk about it, but she is totally aware of her decline each and every day and it bothers her terribly as she realizes that her inability to remember how to operate the phone, the computer, etc. is worse each week than the week before. Funny you should ask this question because someone raised the same question at my support group meeting yesterday. Of the 12 people in my group, 4 said their spouses do not feel anything is wrong with them! So, Bev, you are not the only one dealing with this situation. As for getting angry with me, that happens all too often, unfortunately. She complains constantly about 'my tone' when I say/suggest something she doesn't want to hear.
acvann: "I don't like your tone!" I hear that one all the time. So, I have to watch my tone, in addition to watching what I say. Not always easy..... Sure wish he would read that book you recommended. But, you know, I think it might be more difficult for you, with your spouse knowing about her decline. More difficult fo her also. I think, in a way, I'm glad he thinks he's fine.
I think it IS worse when one is aware of the decline and recognizes how much is slipping away. Because she is aware of the decline, she is also absolutely adament about people not knowing she has AD due to the 'stigma' she perceives is attached to Alzheimer's ... as if anyone who knows her doesn't already know something is wrong. People who know her well would be foolish not to have already surmised she has AD. Makes things very uncomfortable for me when friends ask me how she's doing ... and, respecting my wife's wishes, I must either lie, ignore, or divert their questions.
Finished The Leisure Seeker by Michael Zadoorian yesterday after reading it's recommendation here. Made a list of books ya'll have recommended. Thanks. I need to reread Creating Moments of Joy; heard the author speak a couple years ago, and think I need a "booster shot."
I am reading Gail Sheehy's "Passages in Caregiving'. She touches on AD, but mostly is is about her life as a caregiver for her husband's long journey with cancer. There are things that apply to all caregivers in the book. Her life, as a writer, is nothing like mine. She had resources many of us can't imagine.
On my home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com, under the Breaking News section, there is an article and video about him. I put Amazon links to both of his books up on the right side of the home page.
The article is very interesting - shows the progression of the disease over the course of 10 years.
For those of you with stars: I have just read The Widow's Tale by Mick Jackson. I thought that the grief of loss and the difficulty of recovery was well described here (although of course I am not yet a widow). No easy solutions, it all sounds so authentic. English country setting and NOT a case of dementia, and not a particularly successful marriage to look back on -- yet the loss is very real. Extraordinary that it was written by a man.
Having just finished "Jans Story" by Barry Peterson an also just having had my loving wife admitted to an assisted living home I can say it hit home hard,anyone reading this be forewarned keep the tissues handy
For all you dog lovers..something lighter than those above. Nora Roberts new one..The Search..I'm listening to it and love the rescue work and dog talk.
Right now, I'm reading a book entitled "When Your World Falls Apart . . . Seeing Past The Pain Of The Present", by David Jeremiah. It is written from a Christian perspective and is a pretty good read, if you're looking for how someone else has handled a life set on its ear, so to speak.
I cannot recommend highly enough- Bill Warrington's Last Chance by James King. This book was rejected by FIFTY FOUR agents before the author won the Amazon Breathrough Novel Award, and then a publisher took notice and published it. It is more complex than just the story of a man who is descending into Alzheimer's Disease. It is a family story of loss, pain, misunderstandings, estrangement, and coming together.
Copy and paste this link to read the story behind the story - about James King and how he finally fulfilled his writing dream. http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/08/06/after-54-book-agents-said-no-thanks-james-kings-first-novel/
Copy and paste this link if you would like to purchase it - http://astore.amazon.com/wwwthealzheim-20/detail/067002161X
I bought the Kindle version and read it in less than 24 hours.
A member of my weekly spouse caregiver support group brought in a book to share with us a few weeks ago written by Susan G. Miller ... Unplanned Journey: Understanding the Itinerary. Apparently published in 2000 as one book of a planned planned trilogy (found the 2nd one she wrote but can't find the 3rd), this book is a very quick read. The entire book is a series of 128 'reflections' as the author cared for her husband, who was diagnosed at 55. Each page is a free verse poem that captures emotions that only we can understand ... you name the emotions you and I have been feeling and the author 'gives voice' to those feelings. Within a few weeks everyone in our group will have read it and then we plan to discuss which 1, 2, or 3 poems we related to the most and talk about them. I highly recommend this book. After reading Still Alice and 2 books by Lisa Snyder, I swore I wouldn't read another book dealing with AD; but I'm glad I read this one. I only skimmed the reflections that I cannot yet relate to because, fortunately, we are 'not there' yet. But those reflections that describe where we've been ... or where we are now ... wow. They are VERY powerful!
This book has absolutely nothing to do with Alzheimer's Disease - It is pure entertainment. Well, a lot of history too. First, let me say that it is a book I would NEVER have thought to read. The subject matter is nothing that interests me. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. It is set in 12th century England, and the summary says it is about monks, the church, and building a cathedral. Yuck. I was not going to read that. But I kept reading the reviews, and they were stellar, so I gave it a try. I could not put it down. It is really a family saga. Wonderful story. Fantastic characters that stay with you long after you have finished reading.
If you want to forget your daily Alzheimer grind, and become absorbed in another world of fascinating characters, I highly recommend this book. It is very long - almost 1000 pages, so I read it on my Kindle.
I have read quite a few books written by Ken Follet and have enjoyed every one. I am not into the romance type novels and like books where I don't know the ending!
Joan...I am on my 10th reading of Pillars of the Earth...It ranks as one of my favorite books of all time...great characters..harsh story, but highly entertaining... Another great series is the Sword of Truth by Terry Goodkind....there are 11 books in all, and involve fantasy/magic, but the characters are probably the most fascinating and well developed fictional people you will meet.// Once you understand the main characters, you will be amazed at the fullness of the story, and its entertainment value...each book is very long, but you will enjoy it tremendously.... Look for Wizard's First RUle, by Terry Goodkind....it was also a tv series called the Legend of the Seeker/.//
I've had this book for about a year now and have put off reading it because of its length and because it is so heavy! I like to read in bed at night and even though it's a softcover, it's still heavy. But, now, with the reviews here, I'm going to make it the next book I read, after A Mercy by Toni Morrison, which is the next book in line on my nightstand. Right now I'm reading a wonderful book of short stories, including The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, a story I have read many times, about a young wife who is trapped in the life she has because of the times she lives in. The book also includes a novel called Herland, which is quite interesting, a story about three young men who have discovered a race of women living without men.
Phranque - My 16-year-old grandson loves the books by Terry Goodkind and I believe he's read all of them. He is quite a reader, a gift I'm proud to say is because of me.
I began reading "The Pillars of the Earth" on your recommendations and really enjoying it. I only wish I could spend more time reading; there just aren't enough hours in the day for doing the things we like, are there? Of course, getting ready for Christmas doesn't help...
I also want to say that I gave in and bought a Kindle! All of a sudden it seemed to be calling me..., so I told my husband it was his Christmas present to me! It will never take the place of my books, I LOVE books, but I just had to get it this year.
Bev, I'm sure you'll love the Kindle. For me it has certainly not replaced books (whole piles to read, I love them) but is so useful for beauty parlor, travel (local and international) to avoid having to carry books. I also read the Kindle every Tuesday at our favorite riverside restaurant while dh is watching the boats go by. Here they are still fairly uncommen and people ask me what it is. I love to show them!
Just finished reading Hornby's "Juliet, Naked" on the Kindle. I always keep a couple free classics (Tolstoy,etc.) on there in case I run out of contemporary reading material (fat chance but I like to be safe). Real books: I have finished Franzen's "Freedom" for a book club discussion on Wednesday and am now reading David Mitchell's "The Thousand Autums of Jacob de Zoet"
Here is another book I highly recommend. Rainwater by Sandra Brown. This is NOT your usual Sandra Brown. It is a total departure from the current books she writes. It is a story of a woman in 1930's depression era dust bowl Texas, who is supporting herself and her autistic 9 year old son by running a boarding house. A dying man comes to live out his last months in her boarding house. It is a wonderful, sweet, tender story of how life is to be lived to the fullest, even at the end; it is the story of how he changes the lives of Ella and her son. Yes, it's sad, but it is also uplifting and positive. I just loved it. I put the link up on the home page on the right.
"The Spare Room" by Helen Garner is a gem of a book. Listed in our Public Library catalogue as fiction bio (is this a new genre, anyone?), it is written by an Australian. it is moving, sad, and funny, especially if the reader has been a caretaker. One of the best books I've read in a couple of years. Here's a review, copied and pasted from the Vancouver Public Library. Oh, darn, they say it's copyright, so look it up on your library site.
Jeanette - I read "The Corrections" and didn't care for it very much. Did you enjoy "Freedom? " I have so many books waiting to be read I don't want to waste my time, or money, on something I won't like. I value your opinion.
Bev, I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed by Freedom. I did enjoy reading it, but it has not made a tremendous lasting impression. For a book that THICK and with so much critical aclaim, I would have expected more. This opinion was pretty general in my book club. I'd be pleased to hear from anyone else who's read it.
Yes, a kindle is something you download books on. I have one, and I love it. I primarily use it when I go somewhere. It's light, and I can carry it in my purse. You can read about it on Amazon.
Joan posted an article about using art with dementia patients. There is a book about a specific project called "I Remember Better when I Paint". I haven't read the book, but I did see a video about the project that was absolutely wonderful. It shows people with dementia painting and well as people with dementia on trips to museums and discussing the pictures they see there. Both the book and the video are available on Amazon. I haven't look elsewhere. I really recommend seeing the video if you can!
Amazon sells it. Here is the link for the Kindle. http://astore.amazon.com/wwwthealzheim-20/detail/B002FQJT3Q If you are interested in buying a Kindle or anything from Amazon, if you use the links on my site, I get a small commission from Amazon, which helps keep this website going.
What I LOVE about the Kindle is the feature that allows you to increase the font. I'm getting to the point that I can't read the print on some of the paperbacks. It's tiny. With the Kindle, I make the print as big or small as I need. The other best feature is the dictionary. While I am reading, if I come across a word I don't know, I put the cursor next to it, and the definition shows up on the bottom of the page. Most of the old classics are free to download. It holds thousands of books, and allows you to categorize them, so it's like your own hand held library. And it is vacation friendly. You take the Kindle, not a bag full of heavy books.
Thanks for your advice on "Freedom," Jeanette. I don't think I'll be reading it. I have so many books waiting for me, I feel I should get myself a T-shirt I've seen in some catalogues that has the picture of a woman reading a book with a huge stack of books next to her and the words "So many books, so little time." As for the Kindle, I'm really enjoying it. I'm reading "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" on it right now and the dictionary is quite helpful; I've learned a few new words while reading it. It will never take the place of my books, but for doctors' waiting rooms it's great to just put it in my purse and not worry about how heavy my book is. I like the free classics I can get, too. Joan - I wish I had remembered to order my Kindle on your website.
Everyone is different, of course. Everyone has different likes and dislikes when it comes to books, BUT in my case, I have learned the hard way, that if Amazon highly recommends it and praises it to the hilt, it's not for me. The reviews on The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo were outstanding - over the top. I can't remember a book I hated more than that one. I never finished it. I thought it was horrendous. Everytime Amazon praises and promotes a book, I have found that I don't like it. I am not talking about the reviews by readers; I am talking about the promotion and reviews by Amazon.
My sister just recommended a book for dog lovers, but it comes with a warning - it's a tear jerker. She loved it though. I'm still pondering whether or not to read it. A Dog's Purpose by Bruce Cameron - http://astore.amazon.com/wwwthealzheim-20/detail/0765326264
Joan, after getting half-way through "The Girl With The Dragon Tatoo" on my Kindle, I ordered the other two!!! I LOVED the series and was so impressed with the fact that the heroine could come out on top and sane after everything that had been done to her mother and her all her life. I will admit that some scenes were hard to read, but they explained her actions and were important to the story. There is a reason that the first book has been on the best seller list for over three years.
My reason was: IT MADE MY PROBLEMS SEEM SMALL! <grin>
I am personally staying away from tear jerkers - I have enough to cry about if I want to cry - and I don't.
We all have different tastes and different appetites. It is what makes the world go around!
I'm relishing "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo!" I will undoubtedly buy the others. Joan - I found "Rainwater" unexpectedly and remembered that it sounded familiar and checked with your comments here. I bought it and it will my next read. I like books that are a little challenging. I did enjoy "The Pillars of the Earth." It was a nice bit of escapism into a long-ago era.
I'm so glad we have this topic here. This, also, is a nice bit of escapism and it's nice to see what others are reading. I agree that each of us likes different books, but it is nice to find how many here like to read, as I do.
I just read a book I really enjoyed called "Room" by Emma Donoghue. It's told from the point of view of a 5 year old boy whose whole life has been in an 11 by 11 foot room with his mother where they are being held captive.
I read the trilogy of the girl with the dragon tatoo. I loved the first two but read the third almost as a duty issue. It is possible that a 4th will be issued if family and partner can agree to it. I doubt that I will read it.
Isn't that true Nora = sometimes writers don't know when to stop. I read the Winslow series -story starting when the Winslows and other joined in England for the trip to the states. Once they got into the 1900s the stories lost its appeal - to me anyway. It was still following the Winslow's but too modern for me I guess. I love Christian historical fiction.
I have a Nook, which is a kindle with interior lights, so you can read in a darkened room. It's from Barnes & Noble and you must get your books for it from B&N. I just finished "world without End" which is the long awaited sequal of "Pillars of the Gods" which I had read years ago, and loved it. "World without End" is also wonderful especially if you enjoy histoical fiction. The "girl with the Dragon tatoo" trilogy is certainly a page turner. If you read the second book, please have the 3rd ready and waiting. they feed right into each other. My new favorite author is Steven Berry who writes mysteries, but always about something from the past.... the Templers, the alexandrea library, alexander the great, charlmagne, great stuff, and you do care about he main characters. I tried reading "the reliable wife" and stopped in the middle, just didn't like the main characters enough to spend time with them.
Dog lovers listen up! I just finished the best book I have ever read about dogs. It is written from the point of view of the dog - A Dog's Purpose by Bruce Cameron. It is heartwarming, funny, and yes, sad. But sooo good. It is about a dog who lives many lives. He keeps being "reborn" to live a different type of life, all in the quest to find his purpose, which is finally revealed to him and us in the end. Yes, I sobbed while reading it. But I also laughed out loud and felt warm and fuzzy. It runs the gamut of emotions. Wonderful book. My sister sent it to me on my Kindle, but it's also available in hardcover.
Chris - The other day I downloaded the second book in the trilogy to my Kindle. I will make sure I download the last one. As you say, they are page turners and you really shouldn't read the books before you go to sleep or you might not sleep from being so wound up from the story. I have a lot of books to read but I think I will enjoy reading World Without End as well.