I take books I've read to Goodwill or a local hospital thrift shop. Sometimes I donate them to the Friends of our local library for their fund-raising book sale.
Judith Fox: I Still Do: Loving and Living with Alzheimer's ~ Here's a link to the website for this book, with a video/narrative of a little about the book. http://www.powerhousebooks.com/book/1095 My daughter who lives in NYC went to a gallery this afternoon where this author's work was show-cased...She sent me the link and info on the book.
I moved your comments to this existing book topic. Hopefully, some of our newbies will read about all the other books recommended. I'm thinking of making this topic a sticky. What do you think?
joang
From Zibby,
Based on the following I've copied from another thread, I purchased a used copy of Coping with Alzheimer's from Amazon. Thank you, Kitty.
* Kitty * CommentTimeFeb 9th 2010
Mary, I hope this helps. Of all the books I have read on Alzheimer's & dementia, the BEST one in my opinion, in terms of coping with emotions is Coping with Alzheimer's, A Caregiver's Emotional Survival Guide. I ordered it from Amazon through this site on Joan's main page. It is by Rose Oliver and Frances Bock. It helps tremendously in showing you exactly how to redirect your emotions. So many good tips. Well worth reading. (And rereading!)
Zibby: I haven't finished the book yet; but already it's giving me much fodder to ponder. I'd always thought "feelings just are, neither good nor bad; and there's nothing you can do about it." Well, I'm learning I can do something about them. The authors show how we can change our emotional and behavioral responses to dementias to positive and constructive ones. It isn't easy, and it doesn't happen over night, but with suggestions in this book, I believe I can survive and provide a decent level of care w/o screaming or crying every day. That's my goal, anyway.
That's great Zibby! Glad to hear. It is such a good book to turn to when you are feeling overwhelmed or "at the end of your rope" or in advance to prevent you from going back to that state. Feelings are created by our thoughts. The authors show exactly how to change the thought process to elicit more beneficial emotions that enable the caregiver to cope. Examples are given throughout the book making it an (almost) easy read. You are right Zibby, it doesn't happen overnight, that's why I said it's worth rereading. It takes practice to "get it." I hope many spouses benefit from reading the book. Even if you are only able to change one thing, it's worth the price of the book. (Remember, you support this site by ordering from Amazon on Joan's Homepage!)
Joan, thanks for putting my post with the "old" one. And, yes, I think it would be a good sticky. Then whenever/whoever finds a good source of help, it will be under our noses:) Reading some of them early on would be a big help--like finding this site early on.
I have been reading "Kitchen Table Wisdom" by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. She is a renowned doctor who gave up medicine proper to concentrate on "healing" instead. Most of the stories are about cancer patients (that was her field), none about dementia so far, but I find it compelling reading, inspiring and enjoyable.
The Time Travelers Wife is my most recent favorate book! His wife has a spouse (a time traveler) who frequently spends time in other times. And then comes back to her. She never knows which memories are in his head when she starts the conversation. Is she is going to be talking to him coming from the current time, or him just walking out of a past (or future) decade. Their first step is to get him orientated to the current day. And then try to make it all normal. Feels very familiar to me. It is not specifically for AD (at all) but is really helping me with some of the problems AD brings (continual chaos). Has anyone else read it? PS There are a few racey parts to it, so be warned if you don't like that sort of stuff.
I read it as an "assignment" with my monthly reading group. Then was unable to attend the gathering where it would be discussed, which was disappointing because I was interested in what the others thought. But, I didn't care for it. Didn't occur to me to try to relate it to living w/hb w/dementia, but having read your thoughts, I can see your "take" on it. However, I still don't care for it. It was more like fantasy to me, and I'm not a sci fi or fantasy fan.
My current read (unrelated to dementias) is Stones into Schools by Greg Mortenson who previously wrote Three Cups of Tea. Both are thought provoking and interesting I think. For fun I'm catching up on Sue Grafton mysteries. Until 2 months ago, I hadn't read any of hers because the titles sounded too contrived. I'm now "hooked." Good thing is I don't have to read one and wait 2 yrs for the next. However, I'll come up against that too soon, I fear.
If you are into this sort of thing, for pure escapism, I just finished the entire Twilight Series. 4 books - Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. Definitely nothing to take seriously. They are each about 700 pages long, but easy reading.
Before you ask when I have the time to read - At night, when I go to bed, I can't fall asleep unless I get lost first in a good book.
Joan, That's exactly what I do, can't fall asleep without reading first. If you're interested in vampires, I think "Interview with the Vampire" is the best book I've read about it. I read it a long time ago, when it first came out, and was fascinated with it. I've since re-read it and it was just as good. I understand she wrote it after her young daughter died of leukemia, hence, a story with the major plot being the taking of blood.
I'm an avid reader, although not as much as I used to. Concentration is hard to come by these days, so I don't read as fast as before.
Speaking of fiction, has anyone here read "Wolf Hall?" I noticed it was advertised on Amazon.com on your home page, Joan. I read it about 3 weeks ago. It won the Booker Prize. If anyone has, I would really like your take on it.
Bev, I read Wolf Hall for my book club. Everyone liked it. I don't read much historical fiction, but this one was very well done indeed, although I thought it got a bit tedious in the middle (as the situation itself did for Cromwell, so that was realistic). An excellent piece of craftsmanship and research and a good enjoyable read, especially for those who are into history. Keeping the perspective firmly in Cromwell's mind made reading the book a special experience.
We are now going to read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society. A little out of our genre, because we usually read more serious stuff, but I'm prepared to enjoy it!
My doctor, just recommended a book on WidowHood. She said it blew her away. She read it so that she would have a better idea of what her patients (female - gyno) go through when they lose a spouse. She told me it was a must read. It is - "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion
I'm going to check with the library and see if they can get it for me.
Still recommending The Leisure Seekers which has a character with Alzheimers. Would love to hear feedback from those who read it.
Last month read The Help for my book discussion group. Excellent book - couldn't put it down. A novel written from the point of few of the African American maids in Jackson, Mississippi, during 1960s.
terry - I like 'the Leisure Seekers'. I like how she took control of the lives by deciding how they would live their final days. On the post here you see problems like they had on their trip (like trying to get up after falling). Being a full-time RV'er I have to be honest, much of the driving he did seems unrealistic. But then again, anything is possible so it is not outside of the possible. Too many times children and doctors want to take all possible medical attempts to save life not caring what quality life the ill person has.
Thank you for recommending The Help. It sounded wonderful, and I wanted to order it months ago, but the last time I went on Amazon's recommendation only, I got stuck with the worst book in history. I didn't even finish it. Since you both loved The Help, I am going to order it.
I will put links to these books you have mentioned up on the right side of my home page.
I tried The Help - but just couldn't get into it. I think because It was a little "heavy reading" for me the past months. You might pick it up at the Library and try it.
Zibby, I'm hooked on Sue Grafton also and now have to wait for two years between books :-) Someone told my daughter about them so she got A thru O on eBay. We got hooked and read them one after another!!
Terry, I also liked The Leisure Seekers. I've never been an RV'er but have had friends who made it a full-time life after retirement. I also like the way she took control of their lives. Quality of life is more important than quanity of life. It's very hard for some of our kids to understand as they don't want to lose a parent.
I also am an "in bed" reader. As a caregiver for many years, it was the only time I had to myself and now it's become a habit.
JeanetteB, I liked Wolf Hall but was kind of disappointed it wasn't better. I used to like historical fiction, admit that I haven't been reading much of it lately, maybe that's why I was drawn to it. I bought it but it took me a longer time than it usually does to finish it. I had so much trouble understanding who was talking. The author kept writing "he" but I didn't understand until a good way through the book that she almost always meant Cromwell! You didn't have any trouble with that?
I read "A Year of Magical Thinking" before I bought it for a friend whose husband died the same year the book came out. It's a terrific book, especially for someone who loses a loved one.
I'm a lover of Joyce Carol Oates and just finished "Little Bird of Heaven." One of the best books I read this past year.
I have most of the books mentioned on this thread on Alzheimer's and dementia, but I limit myself to only reading these occasionally. I feel so overwhelmed with my husband's disease that I don't allow myself to think about it any more then necessary. I need some escapism and the other books do it for me.
Me too. I read for escapism. I read the Alzheimer's related books during the day if I have time, but at night, it's pure escape.
I have 3 friends AND a friend's son (He's 36 years old) who LOVE the historical Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon - there are 7 books about a woman who time travels back and forth between the 20th and 18th centuries. I read the first one, and it was interesting enough for me to finish it, but that was enough for me. I wasn't interested in reading 6 more. But if you like historical fiction, give it a try.
I read the first couple of Outlander series books but after about the first 3 they got a bit boring to me. Right now I like to read books that don't require a lot of thought. I love the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich and the Flower Shop mysteries by Kate Colllins.
Has anyone ever read any of Christina Skye's Draycott Abbey books? They call them paranormal - set in currernt times in Scotland with the resident ghost from the 1600s playing a part. I really didn't think I'd like them, but got hooked after the first one.
I'm now on page 747 of Under the Dome by Stephen King. The only reason I decided to read this is because my grandson read it and loved it. He read this 1100 page book in 1-1/2 weeks! It's a pretty good read, if you like that sort of thing, especially for escapism.
My next book will be House Rules by Jodi Picoult. It's about a teenage boy with Asperger's syndrome. I'm very interested in this subject because I have a grandson with Asperger's. The next will be The Surrendered by Chang-Rae Lee. Some of you might like another book of his, "Aloft." I thought it was an absolutely beautiful book.
I read "Under the Dome" too. I enjoyed it. It was one of his better books. My favorite Stephen King book to this day is "The Stand" and "Under the Dome" kind of reminded me of it. It only took me one weekend to read it.
I liked "The Stand", too. I read "Salem's Lot" (Joan, another book about vampires you might like) a long time ago. But, I really liked his book, "Bag of Bones," an awful title but a very good book.
Bev, I really enjoyed it and my mother would call me over that weekend just to ask what page I was on. ☺ I'm a fast reader too, and if a book is very interesting to me I can read a book in a day. Since I read them so fast, I always get my books from the library. I don't have enough extra money to keep me in my habit.
Oh, how I wish I could read that fast. Of course, most of the time, if I especially like the writer, I love to linger over the words and re-read them, especially if it's a phrase or sentence that is meaningful to my life. But, some books, like Under the Dome, is one I wish I could read faster, even though I'm enjoying it and it's difficult to put it down, sometimes at 1 or 2 in the morning. I buy some of my books at the Half-Price bookstore where they sell used books that look so new you'd be surprised they're secondhand. Some of them so new they look as though they've never been read. I then either donate them to our library or take them back to the bookstore and get money for them so I can then buy new books there.
Bill Bryson's The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid was absolutely fabulous. Funny as heck. A memoir of his childhood growing up in the 1950s. Will bring back many memories. DH and I listened to it on unabridged CDs in the car during several short trips. I haven't laughed so much in a long time.
Terry, that might be something my DH would like. Everything that brings back memories is something he likes. He surrounds himself with his "memories," so I'll have to remember the Thunderbolt Kid.
I am reading Jody Picoult's "House Rules". It is about a teenager with Asperger's. Some of the symptoms seem much like Alzheimer's disease. Asperger's is defined as a higher level of autism. The teenager in the book is extremely bright, but very literal. Both diseases involve brain dysfunction.
My daughter gave me "House Rules" after she finished it and I'm about half way thru. This is the first of her books I've read, but am going to read the others.
Cathie and I both can see alot of Alzheimers symptoms also.
My 46 year old son exhibits several Asperger symptoms. Forty six years ago, Asperger or autism had never been heard of nor had learning disabilities. He was always considered just lazy or antisocial and never given any special treatment. It wasn't until Cathie specialized in special education learning disabilities, that we learned he has also has dysgraphia - he can't write. The thoughts are in his brain, but the electrical impulses won't travel down his arm to let him write. Similar to dyslexia in reading. His birth father was the same way. He is a whiz at numbers tho. By the grace of God, he has made it thru life and is doing okay.
Whether it is or was the mercury in vaccines or something else, I am so glad these things are coming to the forefront and hopefully research will find a solution.
A woman at our support group brought in her book collection to loan to others in the group. Based on things I'd said about being afraid of the future and how grim it looks, she handed me "Creating Moments of Joy" for the person with Alzheimer's or Dementia by Jolene Brackey. It has given me some new ways to look at things. One of my favorite lines so far: From this point on, you are always wrong and the person with dementia is always right", then there is nothing to fight about, you are less stressed and there is more success. It's got lots of very short chapters so it's easy to read a few pages at a time. In general, I have been staying away from Alz. books, I'm living it instead.
Just borrowed a new book from our local library called "Making Rounds with Oscar" by Dr. David Dosa who is a geriatrician. The subtitle is "The Extraordinary Gift of an Ordinary Cat". A very interesting read about a not very social cat who somehow instinctively knows when a dementia patient is about to die. The cat drops his aloof manner and hops up on the dying person's bed and cuddles up to them just for their last hours of life. While it is the tale of a cat, the author intersperses practical information about the realities of living with alzheimer's into the story. Published this year. I think this book would be a good one to share with people who might not normally read something about alzheimer's.
If anyone is looking for a simply lovely story to escape into, I recommend The Summer Hideaway by Susan Wiggs. It is about falling in love, the strength of family, and dying on one's own terms. If there could be an uplifting story about dying, this is it. With a good romance and happy ending.
Just finished 'Still Alice" if you want an insiders look at alz disease, this is as close as it gets. Just bought creating moments of joy, but I haven't started it yet. I heard great things about it. For fun, however, I have been reading the books of Steve Berry, they delve into historical mysteries but in the present day. I really like them. Start with "The Amber room"
I just finished The Summer Hideaway by Susan Wiggs. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was the sixth book in a stand-alone series called The Lakeshore Chronicles. I enjoyed it so much I reserved the other five books from the local library.
"The Surrendered" by Chang-Rae Lee is a book I highly recommend. JeanetteB: This might be a good one for your book club. The characters are so richly depicted I can't get them out of my head.
A terrific new book just came out ... Living Your Best With Early-Stage Alzheimer's. I just got mine at www.amazon.com. The author is Lisa Snyder, a social worker who runs the Quality of Life Programs at the UC-SD ADRC. I had read her first book wherein she told the 'story' of those with AD in their own words, and that was good, and I also subscribe to the quarterly newsletter she puts our from her ADRC. This new book is terrific, especially for those recently diagnosed with AD and, just as important for those who read/post at this site, for spouses of those with early stage and/or early onset AD. It's almost as if she were listening to conversations I've had recently with my wife ... discussions about about how to get her engaged in new activities (since she won't engage in those she used to enjoy), about techniques to help her be better organized, about reliance on special friends, etc. I wish I had received a copy of this book 3 years ago, though. More importantly, I wish doctors would suggest this book to their newly diagnosed patients, and their spouses. I thought I wouldn't read another book since Still Alice hit so close to home. But this book is really an excellent resource. I just gave it to my wife to read ... whether she will read it or not is debatable; she says she wants to read it, but she says she wants to do a lot of things that she ends up not doing ... but I'm really hoping she does go through the book so we can discuss some of the author's many practical suggestions!
acvann, I'd like to ask you a question. Does your wife talk to you about her dementia? Does she get angry when you do? I would really like to get my husband to read a book like the one you suggested, but he simply does not believe there is anything wrong with him. If I suggested to him that he read a book about Alzheimer's, he wouldn't talk to me the rest of the day. Of course, by the next day he would have forgotten about it! But I really wish I could get him to read a book such as the one you suggested.
Has anyone read the book 'Before I Forget' by Leonard Pitts? There was a review in the current issue of Senior and Boomer News. It is the story of a faded soul star of the 70s who learns he has EOAD and takes stock of his life. The review says they are Jamie Foxx and Don Cheadle have show interest into making a movie of it.