Phew! Tonight Herb asked me where I had been for that 10 year absence?? Huh? What 10 year absence? He had imagined that I had left him for a 10-year period and in that period he had taken up with another woman and somehow I showed up at the front door one day and we got back together. He was just remembering it and wondered where I had been
LOL, have you figured out where you were for 10 years? I'm sure getting plenty of rest. At least sometime they say something to make us laugh, and let us know they love us. Bonnie
mothert, I'm not sure if this signals a delusional behavior stage but when my husband has delusions all I ever say to him is "it's ok honey, we're ok, I'm here". It seems to calm him down that I am taking care of him. Hope that helps. As far as knowing what to expect, I only know that I have NO IDEA what is going on in his head or what he is trying to tell me most of the time, but I hold his hand, get him to sing with me (sort of keeping him in the present) and when he goes to another place in his head, I assure him I'm with him and he's ok. Gabepentin helps also!!
Fiona68 Was the gabapentin for you or him? LOL, I take it and I really get sleepy, sleep good every night. It's for my fybromyalga, what do you use it for? Bonnie
Fiona68 Thank you so much for your compassionate advice. I must confess that I'm totally clueless as to what to do when he has these delusions (they seem to be more frequent these days). Funny, before AD, he absolutely never uttered the "Divorce" word; now it seems to be his default whenever he gets ticked off at me. We've been married 30+ years. We were sitting in the Financial Advisors' office the other day discussing POA's and dh up and asked the advisor what would happen if tomorrow he (dh) wanted to divorce me. I'm sure the advisor was wondering just what I was trying to pull off. Now I'm wondering if I need to send him a little explanation about AD and delusional/suspicious behaviors. I just let him talk it out and then we went on with the rest of the discussion. A bit embarrassing. Think I'll leave him home next time. Oh wait, I can't leave him alone that long anymore.
Bonnie: we put my DH on Gabepentin to help him to be more cooperative with the caregivers at his ALF. He wouldn't change his clothes, wash up, shower, shave, etc. He didn't want anyone to touch him. He'd sleep fully dressed for a week at a time until I could coax him into changing his outfit. Sometimes he'd have 4-5 shirts on and several layers of underwear, sleep pants and jeans. Sheesh. The Gabepentin really worked and am I ever glad those days are over!
Mothert: we have only been together 22 years, 14 of them married. If he was still at home with me, he'd be very angry as I was always the one telling him what to do. Now that he is in the ALF, he needs me and is always happy to see me. I remember when he was angry with me and it cut to the heart every time he'd look at me with that scowl on his face. That is when I really had to practice the emotional divorce and not take anything that he did or said personally. SO MUCH MORE EASILY SAID THAN DONE!!
mothert - maybe you were abducted by aliens, which could explain why you don't remember that you were gone for 10 years? :-) On a serious note, delusions are difficult to deal with, whatever the subject. I have chosen to ignore them, or pretend I didn't hear. So far that has worked.
mothert, I hope I did not sound to silly in what I posted earlier. I know this has to be upsetting. I find it best to just go along with the delusions if possible and change the subject if needed.
You can do like I did. When Helen used to ask me silly questions, I always tried to think of an answer that would make her happy, because seeing her happy made me happy also. You can do the same with Herb....GeorgieBoy
Hey, Blue, you didn't hurt my feelings - I have a much thicker hide than that. :-)) Johnny Cash .... I'd like to meet him, too.
Georgestreit - hmmmm, I don't think of clever things very well when on the spot; I'll probably start getting lots of practice now, though. I do kind of like the being abducted by aliens explanation, however :-)lol