I remember what this was like. I felt prepared in my head but not so much in my heart. My thoughts are with you and your children that Jeff remains as comfortable as possible and that his passing is peaceful. You have been a wonderful caregiver, with so much understanding, patience and determination.
Emily, I am so very sorry that you are now faced with this probability. I too wish Jeff a peaceful passing and hope you and your family have some serenity during this difficult time. You have been a dedicated and compassionate caregiver.
Wishing him and you peace. And thinking about how varied our paths are. Your husband and mine were in similar places for a while. And at this moment my husband is sitting in the kitchen looking at the newspaper, with at least some comprehension and memory for what he reads. He uses a walker almost all the time at home, but he still walks up and down the stairs for dinner--with railings on both sides he can still manage stairs.
Emily, I am sorry to hear this news as I know well the push pull of it, being told how much time he may have, wanting to have him out of pain and yet not wanting to let him go...Yes this is very difficult, the most difficult part of this journey. We are all here for you, to support you in anyway we can and offer our prayers for your DH and for comfort and peace for you and all your family. Arms Around..
Emily, I can think of no words of comfort. I ache for you and your family. I hope that you will find some solace and peace. Please know that you will be in my thoughts.
Emily--you and your family are in my thoughts. I've been under the weather (nothing serious) so I haven't checked in recently. Is Jeff still at the ALF? Does hospice have someone there?
you are in my heart and thoughts emily, you and Jeff and your girls. I hope you eye surgery went well, and asking for strength and health for you in these tough days ahead. Giant hug to you.
Yes, Jeff is still at his ALF. They will care for him until the end. The hospice nurse is in regularly to do some caregiving, as well as aides. He also has family and friends who are regular. My eye surgery (the first eye) WAS scheduled for this coming Monday. I was able to get the whole thing delayed for a week, which is a bit of a relief, although it means one more week of right eye double vision.
You have been here since the beginning, so although we have never met in person, I feel as if I know you and Jeff. I wish there was more I could do for you, but I hope it gives you comfort to know that I am thinking of you and giving you a warm hug from afar.
Currently waiting, with 8 family members. His breathing is labored and nails cyanotic, feet cold. My sister-in-law Helen just asked if we could get the family pack of morphine. I'm guessing I'll be called in the middle of the night. He doesn't let go easily.
My son Gabe, 21, just got home for Fall break. He has had a harder time coping with this than his older sisters. Didn't know if he'd want to come in, but he did, and said a very sweet, stoic, goodbye to his dad.
Emily, I remember this time very well, it is not easy for those of us watching and waiting. Hope that it is easy for your dear DH. Peace and strength to you and yours,
Emily, when you are at home, make sure your cell phone is nearby. I know only too well how hard this is. I was not expecting my DH to die. The hospital called me twice but my phone was on vibrate..so I didn't hear it, then they called on my cell phone. They told me he had a cardiac arrest and was not expected to survive..I was there in 10 minutes but it was then too late. I know this waiting and wanting peace for him yet not wanting him to go is such a push pull thing. Nothing is worse I don't think. Try to get some rest. The next several days are going to exhaust you. I am so glad your family is there to support you.
A roomful of family and friends last night. Daughter Rachel played guitar and read poetry. We talked, laughed, told him things in his good ear. The 2 older girls spent the night camped out on the floor in his room, joined later by his brother Wade and dog Lily.
I went back at 6:30 this morning, as the girls left. I include this part because it's important to me, although I know not everyone would find themselves in this situation: My new friend/partner came in to sit and talk with me for a while this morning. Among other things, he said he wanted to be able to tell Jeff that he would take care of us. (meaning me, the kids.) I like to think Jeff took that in in some way. He said goodbye to Jeff.
25 minutes later, with just me in the room, Jeff took his last breaths.
My thoughts are with you and your family, Emily. Jeff is at peace at last. And how thoughtful of your friend to let Jeff know that you would be taken care of. I am sure you are in good hands!
Oh Emily, I am so saddened and sobbing about Jeff's passing...you and he have touched me very deeply over these last 5 years. It was wonderful your friend told Jeff he would take care of you and the girls...one less thing Jeff had to worry about. It seems inadequate to say you and your family are in my prayers and you have my deepest sympathy, but I don't know what else to say. May the days ahead be kind to you and all you love.
Emily, My deepest sympathies to you and your family at Jeff's passing. You have shared your journey with such honesty, compassion and dignity. I do believe that the dying hear us and that your husband was comforted by your partner's comments. May you find comfort in family and peace that you did your absolute best for your husband.
Emily, I have been thinking of you all day and am so sorry to hear of your dear Jeff's passing. I am glad you were able to have family and friends around the last few days. Sending much love and many hugs.
Emily, I came on here this morning to see your post. I shed tears in sadness, of Jeff's passing. Jeff is at peace, may you find peace in the days ahead My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
You couldn't have helped Jeff any better in his passing, that was beautiful, I'm sure he was comforted by your partners reassurance that you and the girls would be safe and well cared for. Love Bonnie
Em, I am so very sorry. What a blessing your daughters have been and how brave Gabe was.... I hope you all find some comfort and peace in the trying days ahead. ((hugs))
Emily - you have my deepest sympathy and I'm glad you and your children have your partner to lean on over the coming days. What a kind and thoughtful thing for him to do.
Emily, glad you are surrounded by love at this time of losing Jeff. Your partner's actions speak volumes about the kind of man he is and I know his presence will help you get through the days to come.
Emily, I admire you so much and I am so happy you have a wonderful person in your life to be there for all of you.
I am so very sorry for you loss, I meant to log in last night but I could not stop crying. Crying for you, for Jeff, for your girls, and for all of us. God bless you Emily.