After waiting an hour at SS we got the address changed and representative payee done so no one from there can badger him again cause he can't remember his address.

Then took the requested info down to DSHS and to find out why the lady on the phone said they were waiting for the disability information. What disability info I asked her and she would not tell me -weird. After waiting an hour there was called up and told that the state of Washington no longer does Medicaid - only medicaid disability due to the AFC. Was told I needed to go to the feds site. Told him the feds site sent me to the state site. What a nightmare this is turning out to be.

Trying to keep thinking on the positive - the representative payee is done, address changes in with SS, DMV, licensing - only one left is VA but I am not ready to switch him from the Portland VA yet. The blood draw for the genetic testing is the 5th, so won't until those results are found out.

Bonnie, glad you had a good day and that your dh seems in good spirits. I realize that my day yesterday was not as rough as other people's - there was nothing really big that happened, it was just a whole day of little events that got me down (in addition to the weather). We are headed to the city today to run errands - at least it will be a change of scenery.

Charlotte, that is a lot to have to deal with, and so frustrating when it seems like the government's right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing. I wish you well.

So happy to hear the good news,Charlotte! Sometimes, things do go right.

October hasn't been the great month for us at all. My 17 year old car bit the dust and due to waiting for our bankruptcy to be discharged, I can't get a new car yet. Waiting on the foreclosure of our home to finish and Then I got 30 days notice that my husband's wonderful day care is closing due to lack of funding. We were turned down by another day care....Bruce is too much work....but accepted by another one I wouldn't have even considered due to their name. Japanese American Service Commision. Find out that this organization started after World War II to help displaced Japanese settle in the Chicago area and has now grown to be a social service organization for all ethnicities and backgrounds.

I am so saddened by the closing of his day care. They were absolutely the best and for some people, the last place that would take them. Quite a few of the clients had been kicked out of other centers for things that this center doesn't even register as a problem. Such a shame that no other organization would come up with funding to keep this wonderful place open. They had been in business for close to 25 years.

Then, of all things, last week I had a UTI which really knocked me down. I'm tired, but Bruce is content and relaxed. Can't really ask for much more.

I finally had to go outside to get supplies after the milk became alive and stormed out of the house in a huff. I stared at the last box of KD sitting in my pantry with an expiry date of Oct 1978 and briefly contemplated using just water or maybe mixing it with that pesto garlic salsa mix my wife brought home for a party somewhere in the 90's. There was also one small can of tomato paste but I'm sure that my in-laws brought that over on the boat from Manchester somewhere before the great war. It was made by a purveyor appointed by the queen it said. I wasn't smearing that on the Kraft Dinner.

I also wasn't going on an expedition to the back of the fridge. There were pickled aliens in glass jars, khaki colored olives, something orange with lumps, and mason jar preserved forest where some things were so old they were fossilized right into the glass shelf.

Now I like to keep things dutch clean and spic and span in the house. I like to but I don't. Instead I hitch up the origatos once or twice a year and ride them through the dust bunnies big as bowling balls blasting them with the electric fan which only lasts a few seconds before the cord pops out. We had a couple of the big ones cornered beneath the kitchen table but the cats lost interest and I wasn't taking those things on alone.

So I went into the garage. There was a car in there I recognized. It was spider webbed to the wall but I gunned it out of there and broke free. I drove to the market and made myself a sandwich while I shopped backing the truck up in the canned section. They had tomato paste on for $1.89 but I already had some at home. The weird thing was there was a message sratched on the bottom of my list in absolutely terrible penmanship. It read K@TN1P.

D@mned cats. Think they own the place. Do something useful. Get a job! That's what I should have told them. Still muttering I lugged all the grocery bags into the house and suddenly remembered I meant to buy socks. I ran out of those in August. That's the suprising thing. I had no idea how many clothes I had. It turned out I own 78 shirts and sweaters which is a ridiculous number really. I was trying to stretch because there was only the mauve polo top and then the string of white dress shirts and then I'm down to sweaters.

I really should have listened when my wife explained how to do the laundry. Come to think of it I made sure she never did. I wondered if I could get on any of her tops. The phone rang. It was one of my normal friends. "How are you doing?" he asked. "Fine." I said.

Gee Wolf,sounds like my life.But every so often my Granddaughter cleans out the frig. and gets rid of the aliens.My Daughter says",Mom, what do you do all day? you no longer have Daddy home to care for, you haven't cleand or got rid of anything since he went to NH" What can I say? I don't feel like doing anything but visisting him and playing cards on this D--n computer.Got to get out of this rut.Maybe November will be better.

Well, October has been eventful for us. My DH has lived in an ALF since May of this year. Early this month we took him off Aricept because he seemed so shut down. It did perk him up and he was more verbal and remembered names (and his boat) but his agitation increased and after about 10 days he hauled off and popped another resident, who he was feeling threatened by. That necessitated a trip to a geri-psych hospital, both because of the escalated behaviors and (mostly) because his ALF did not address the behaviors at all, just let them play out and escalate. The hospital stay was non-traumatic for him (and me) and while he was there I made arrangements to move him to another ALF, the one I'd initially wanted, but wasn't unavailable. They did have an opening and we moved him from the hospital to this new ALF on the 18th of this month. Things were going along nicely until Sunday, when he started spiking a fever, having problems voiding his bladder and becoming increasingly restless and uncomfortable. We all thought it was a UTI and because he could not void himself, he was catheterized both Monday to get a urine sample for testing and Tuesday nights because he could not pee (although tried about every 6 minutes or so). The 'collection' both times was a lot and very dark. Hoping that we'd be able to get him on antibiotics today but just learned that it's not a UTI after all. We are now trying to figure out what would cause a fever, dark urine and pain, if not a UTI. The poor guy. I feel so helpless and, while he is somewhat comforted with me by his side, it only helps the restless a little and does not help his pain and discomfort at all.

Yhouniey, I feel just as you do. I don't feel like doing anything but visiting him and, in my case, watching TV ... only at night of course ... and with a glass (or two) of wine. I'm calling this an extended timeout from life. If I'm still at it in December, then it's a rut!

This journey is never easy but I would not have a clue what to do without having this website for information and support. Sending Hugs out to all.

I hope November is a better month for you Vickie. And here's hoping he sleeps tonight.

I actually do laundry in case anyone didn't understand I was having some fun.

OH Vickie I am so sorry for your trauma. I hope so much you get some rest tonight. I am going to light a candle right now, like Cassie*, for you.

Bonnie, they are doing X-rays of chest and stomach today. I'll call and ask if the stomach X-ray can detect kidney stones. Thanks for the info.

I got there at 4:30p today and was told he still has a low grade fever but no kidney stones However, he does have backup 'matter' in the colon, so in addition to the catheter that's in full time now cause he cannot pee, they gave him a suppository this evening to induce ... well, you know!
Then, at about 7pm, after I spent over an hour following him around the ALF trying to have him keep his pants on & not yank the catheter out (youza), they told me that the NP had put a hold on his Gabepentin because he was "so sleepy this morning and not too steady on his feet". Absolutely nothing ordered for anxiety/agitation. She thought he'd be just fine because he was sleepy. What the Hell! I told the nurse on duty to immediately call the Dr. and get the Gabepentin reinstated - or I'd call them myself. He got increasingly confused, agitated & kept yanking, trying to strip and i kept trying to keep him in line. By 8p I was so upset I started yelling at him, I finally told him I "had to go back to work" walked down the hall, told the nurse I wasn't sure what he was doing but I was leaving and came home for a triple shot of Johnnie Walker! I've discovered it's better than wine at quickly reducing my stress.
Ive got a call in to the Dr. of this physician practice tomorrow. I'm not too impressed with their NPs; one missed an opportunity to quell his behaviors at the 1st ALF, necessitating a trip to the geri-psych unit and this one made this bone-headed decision today - and didn't even talk to me about it first. Came home so late I had no trick or treaters but i heard some kids walk by so went out with a bag of Snickers and happily surprised a bunch of middle school age boys. October ended on a (somewhat) happy note. But then, it could just be the Johnnie Walker still working. :)

Fiona68, I absolutely loved the fact that you just walked out and went home to a Johnny Walker. Sounded like the best possible plan to me! Lord, I hope I make it through this journey. I believe I just saw a comment somewhere, perhaps above where Abby talked about the past "12" years! I know for sure I will never ever be able to last 12 years. My husband fell in the bedroom a week this past Tuesday and fractured his hip. My dh had surgery that went well and rehab that is not going so well. It has however taken the decision to place my dh out of my hands. After the acute rehab where we are now, we go to subacute rehab and an evaluation for either ALF or skilled nursing. It is a decision I put off too long because I'm sure I was in denial. So another phase begins. I hope I'm ready.