Here it is, the 1st of Oct..I am going to try to get into the swing of things a little bit...now we have not had a real get together for a party in some time...Labor Day kinda went weak. How about we start planning our Halloween Party? We not only need to come up with our location and the goodies, we need to figure out what costumes we will come up with for our party. What do you say? Anyone up for this?
I wondered when you were going to be along to welcome October! Kept waiting and waiting for you to come. I was all set to do it but am glad you stepped in. Coco, I'm glad you're back safely. Kept thinking of you in White Rock. I don't think you got the rain and winds that we did - and it's still raining. Sometimes I listen to the radio when I go to bed at night and during one of the worst storms, with the wind rattling the windows and the rain - oh, darn, I just remembered. One of the drains was plugged with pine needles when I went to UBC this morning and I meant to clean that out when I got home. That was four hours ago,and it's still raining. Better check the basement, too. Goodbye!
Mimi, I'm in for a party. I'll be a bird, a Baltimore Oriole.I already have a bird brain. Been perfect weather here in Lancaster,PA. Still lots of corn for the farmers to get in.Been a bumper crop this year.I think lawn mowing season is over,and hopefully weeding.Allergies are horrible this season,everyone I talk with agrees.
Big step today, setting up for an aide to come and help DH shower. Hospice is helping me so much. DH is also having problems with walking now. Getting harder and harder for him to do almost anything any more. I am trying my best to stay strong, but inside I am just falling apart.
Mimi* I would love to come to the party. Not sure what to dress as. I would like to bring some kind of stiff drink : ) and lots of it.......
Bonnie, our parties are virtual parties..we plan em here and pretend we actually get to some swanky place. And we always hope Phranque will come with his very special Phrank Phurters and buns with all the trimmings. Phranque is a lot of phun and an endless source of amusement.
Hay at our party are we gonna play games like bob for apples or something? You folks in the great state of WA could bring lots of apples!
Since it is a Halloween party, I'd like to bring the cookies I used to make when the kids were still at home. They look like severed fingers and are disgustingly realistic. They were always a hit at Halloween parties.
As for a costume I'd like to come as an angel or maybe a saint since that's what I need to be to handle DHs interesting behaviours and assorted "helpful opinions and advice" that I am at times exposed to.
Really it would be fun to just kick back and meet some of the people I have been talking to online. It would be very nice to hang out with people who understand our situations and actually "get it".
Yeah...October. We're in the downhill stretch here. Hospice has supplied one of those mattresses with the alternating air pockets, and he's getting little bits of oatmeal, applesauce, thickened juice, but not taking much. Never think you've processed it all, emotionally, no matter how long the journey's been...there's always more.
Oh Emily, I hurt for you. We're not there yet and I agree so much with your last sentence. In August when Steve had a bad fall, went to the ER, had seizures back at the ALF and didn't get out of bed for a few days (couldn't stand or walk) I thought it might be the end. After 8-plus years I thought I had done most of my grieving, but I was surprised to find out, I hadn't. Feel like he dodged the bullet then, but I know there's more to come, at any time.
Emily, my thoughts are with you and Jeff as you both go through this new phase of the journey. I agree, you think you've grieved and are prepared then BAM, another blow (even if you could see it coming) and you know you've not finished with the grieving. AD/dementia is just like torture....it stops hurting for some period of time and then it comes back twice as strong.
We're not where you are yet, so I can only imagine the pain. Rich has fallen 4 times since he broke his knee cap (still unrepaired) and each time I become a basket case..did he break something? Did he get a concussion? Is he okay? How many more times will this happen? How do I protect him? I can only imagine what I'll be like when he takes another big decline.
Oh emily, my heart hurts for you too. You're comment about “thinking you've processed it all” rang so true for me. I think I'm doing fine, then he declines a little more & I become a basket case for a while. You have been such a good caregiver & caregiver advocate. I admire your strength. Sending you (((HUGS))).
My DH is on Hospice but not as far downhill as Emily's guy. He has been falling a lot but so far has not hurt himself. Last night at bedtime when I tried to get him from his recliner to the wheelchair he didn't stand high enough to sit in the wheelchair. After he sat on the floor I tried for a half hour to get him up. I thought about calling the local first aid squad but I was afraid they would insist on taking him to the ER. Hospice had told me I could call about anything 24/7 so I did. A nurse arrived 30 minutes later and helped me get him up and then to get him changed and into bed. So far I am impressed with their services.
I keep thinking I will keep him at home but if he keeps falling I don't know how I will do it.
Claude fell several times. I pretty much got to know the EMT/Paramedics from our local station on a first name basis. They told me to call anytime - that's what they were there for. They also told me when I called 911 to say it was not an emergency just that my husband fell, wasn't hurt and I couldn't get him up by myself. The only time they did take him to the ER was when he lost his balance and pulled the TV down on himself. He did get hurt that time.
Emily, my thoughts are with you and your family. At each change our hearts break and then we pick ourselves up and dive into it again. Please know that your DH would thank you for all you have done for him.
I always enjoyed the month of October because Oct.18 is my birthday. I'm gonna be 92 this year......I think I'll celebrate it by hobbling down to the local adult book store and watch some porno movies......... .......Don't tell anybody.......
My dh hasn't started falling, but a friend's dh has. One time 7 stitches to the head, one time broken hip. After rehab she took him home, this last time broken neck, he has to wear a collar, and doesn'tt want to leave it on, he is in rehab, she's thinking of taking him home again after rehab, he keeps asking her to take him home. I feel so bad for her. H e has had falls at rehab, he wants to stand and walk, doesn't remember he can't walk. These falls are so scarey, I am fearful of, and I know it's coming. I feel for you, we can only pray they don't get hurt.
I need to think what I will come to the party as, and what to bring. What fun. Bonnie
georgestreit - 18th is my birthday too. Maybe we should celebrate together. My mom's was the 17th so my whole childhood was always joint birthdays. After moving away the first few years were nice to be just my birthday but then I missed the joint birthdays.
as for today: Been a day from hell!
Was good at first: flushed the hot water tank; retaped the hose because the tape we used was coming off; made it to charter to get cable boxes so he can watch hockey; went to DMV to surrender his license for an ID card (I wanted to cry); found Grocery Outlet store; found Ferrellgas to sign up for a big propane tank which won't be delivered until the 17th; stopped at Jack in the Box for linner about 3; came home and hooked up the cable boxes. One would program - the other one would not.
The boxes are too large to fit on top of the TV in the bedroom so we had to put it on the shelf in the cupboard underneath. Art keep shutting the door and of course the remote will not work. He keeps forgetting. On top of that, not sure what he was trying to do, change channels I guess with the door closed so he grab the TV remote to try to change channels which just gave him channels with a fuzzy screen! It would not work and eventually he had a melt down and went for a walk.
I programmed all remotes - 2 cable, 2 universal - to work on the TV and cable boxes.
He came back when I was across the street looking at the curtains Paula had put up. He tried to use the front TV where the cable box would not program. Came and got me all upset - he forgot it wasn't working. Told him to go in the bedroom and watch the hockey game. He said he didn't think there was one on - I told him yes there is. He wants to watch hockey out in the livingroom - told him he can't until the guy comes on Saturday to fix it. Was not happy!
Then the water pressure dropped for some unknown reason so went out and turned it up a hair, came in to check, flushed toilet and the 'time to drain' smell came out. He said he could do it, but got out there and could not remember which one to pull. Went out and helped him drain, flush, put more water in it! Now he is back laying on the bed watching hockey.
While we were driving he was talking about the problems he was having with words, that he knew he was getting worse. I told him some people with AD are aware of their losses, others have no idea and call people liars when they are told. That I didn't know which would be worse. He said he is glad he is aware then he can let others know when he messes up.
Glad the day is over. I am tired. Neighbor lady says I look wiped out of which I am. Need a good cry but that won't happen. When he falls asleep won't feel like it.
Later:
The water is not ready totally for winter but the weather is not cold yet, so it can wait. Tomorrow will be going to Home Depot to get the parts to put the water filter back in line (was going to leave it off until I saw how dirty the old filter was) and then figure out how to keep it from freezing this winter - hopefully leaving the water on will do the job. No matter how wrapped pipes are I still leave the water running when it get below 30. Also time to start the engine and let it run a while. Next time the wind blows the right direction need to run the generator a while also.
He has still been confused about the TV that has the cable box working. Hopefully in time he will figure it out. If not, I will be joining the rest of you that has to straighten things out after he messes it up.
Its raining today, which is unfortunate because today is the opening day of our little village's Oktoberfest celebration. This is the third largest Oktoberfest celebration in all of Canada, and acknowledges the German immigrants who settled here almost 150 years ago. For the next 3 days, our hamlet of 75 people will be hosting about 7000 people, who will enjoy sausage and homemade sauerkraut, meatballs and homefries, live music, dancing, crafts, horse pulls, horseshoe tournaments, out house races, a parade, and of course, beer. Every home and cottage will be bursting to the rafters with revelers. The fields around the town hall and dance barn have already sprouted a crop of RV's and motor homes. I haven't counted them yet but in previous years there have been more than 300. The organization of this annual event is all volunteer (I used to be one of them before my dH was dx'd) and is a not for profit - money not needed for operating expenses is donated to local organizations such as the local hospital, nursing home, volunteer fire department, or benefits young adults who might otherwise not be able to attend post secondary education with bursarys or scholarships to support their continuing education. Its a fun event that we no longer attend as the crowds are too much for dH to handle, and anyone I could normally use to look after him when I go out is busy volunteering their time in order to make this year's Oktoberfest a success.
I think for the Halloween party I will go dressed as Superwoman. Actually we should all go as either Superwoman or Superman, because that's what we need to be to be caregivers for our LO's! I'll think about what I can bring - caramel popcorn balls used to be a favorite Halloween treat of mine when I was little
Yes, we are all Superwomen. I'm still in awe after reading Charlotte's ability to cope with TV, water supply and propane tanks. bqd, loved your description of Oktoberfest.
Thanks Mary. I know where the largest Oktoberfest in Canada is - its in Wolf's neck of the woods. Any idea of where the second largest is?
Charlotte's abilities are an example of some of the things we all learn to do and take for granted when we are care givers. We either do them ourselves, or find a way to get them done with outside help, but is all part of the coping with additional responsibilities on top of the care giving. Hence my thoughts for the Superwoman/Superman costumes.
Today was better. Got the filter put back in the water line - I will figure a way to keep the water in it from freezing this winter as time goes by. Maybe we will have a mild winter and not have to worry too much about it. I saw one of our members post on Facebook of the snow she has already.
TV was OK today only because he stayed away from it. Either we were at the store, he was out walking in the sun talking to people, or sitting outside in the sun until I turned it on late this afternoon. Then he proceeded to keep asking about the cable box in the front that is not working. When he went to bed I turned on the TV, he assured me he could use the remote to change channels. Didn't even make it into bed and he had turned both the cable box and TV off. How I don't know especially the TV since that means having to push another button before he could. Oh well, at least he didn't get upset over it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the 3 of you. Charlotte, you should be tired with all you have gotten done. I went thru the tv bit with my dh. I tried updating and went to at & t u verse. He would mess the tv's up almost as fast as I could fix one. I could set it on his channel, just what he wanted to watch, and leave the room, he would holler. The guy that set us up, pointed to a button on the box in the living room, said do not touch. YEP, first thing he did. After 13 long days, I switched back, he's happy.
The Octoberfest sounds great, I would love it.
It's cold here, down in the 50's, I changed from air to heat. I'm thinking of Tony the Tiger. How does homemade fudge sound. Love, Bonnie
HD fell twice last night, and has been out of sorts today. The last few days have been hard. I feel like he may have had a ministroke Friday night. He was out of it all day Sat and more like himself by Monday, but still not like he was Friday. He is so confused now. Will not eat much now. The hospice nurse just left and his O2 level was down for the first time. His BP has been dropping the last month also. Beautiful day today, wish I could get out and enjoy it. Hugs to all.......
It does sound like something is going on. It's kind of wait and see. It's a beautiful day here in AR too. We were out for 2 Dr. Appointments. Hope he is back to his old self soon.will be thinking and praying for both of you. Love, Bonnie
It is two months today...has it hit me? I don't know....seem to be functioning I suppose in spite of myself...sun is out, it was two months ago too. It is chilly though. Fall colors all around and the liquid amber trees are a gorgeous red...rather like maples.
We have more leaves on the ground than on the trees, although those that remain are beautiful - I noticed last night as I was going to pick up dH from the respite center how they glowed red in the sunset. The weather has been warmer than normal, but cooler weather is to come later next week.
It got chilly enough that this morning I had to put the heat on to take out the chill. It was 64 in the house. And there was fog for most of the morning but later the sun came out. Nevertheless it stayed on the cooler side of things today and tonight on the tele I hear it is going to be in the 80s tomorrow on the central coast...we are all going to get colds if this keeps up...However, all that said, the sun coming through the red leaves is really a pretty sight...there is nothing quite like spring and fall colors.
We already have had our first snow. Granddaughter and I got into the hot tub and let the snow fall around us. Didn't stay on the ground thank goodness. It will come soon enough. The leaves are a brilliant yellow/orange and falling every where. I like going out walking through them. Where my daughter lives about 100 km as the crow flies there isn't any trees just desert....it is the only true desert in Canada so I've been told....it is all brown not very fall like to me.
We had our Thanksgiving dinner a little early this year on Saturday instead of Monday. Add on several birthdays...grand kids and mine and lots to celebrate and be thankful for!!!!
Thanks, Divi, from one of your Canuck fans. It's a beautiful day in Vancouver, like Indian summer. The leaves are just beginning to fall, but we still have to cut the grass and weed.
Beautiful and serene my arse. It's frigging cold! Climb into your freezer and stay there for six months and you get Canadian winters. People in Maine, Minnesota, Michigan and the northern mid west get that too. And while we freely share our arctic air with you - you're equally generous in sending your storms up here.
We still have a lot of green trees here although some are turning. All the leaves will be down within three weeks. When the kids go trick or treating there are never any leaves on the trees. It's mid October and still t-shirt weather around here. We're having our Indian Summer. Don't know how many of us know that phrase.
I was invited to join friends for thanksgiving dinner this weekend. I was there last year and abruptly left the table when they began their tradition of each saying what they were thankful for. This year I didn't go. I'm painting again after a long absence and I'd rather do that. I did ask one to speak for me at the table and let everyone know that this year I do have things to be thankful for and know what they are. It's a symmetry I hope will touch their hearts just as being included touches mine.
I had a minor tantrum recently where I argued that pretending my wife had disappeared because she has a brain disease while comparing notes on who is supporting our cancer spouse friend wasn't particularly consistent. One of them came around afterwards and admitted that was wrong. He's a great friend and had serious mental issues some years ago. I called him last week because I suddenly realized when he went through his serious problems none of us were there for him at all either. I told him I was sorry I had let him down so badly and didn't realize I was doing the same thing to him that I had just been complaining about. He cried so hard. No one had ever said that to him. And my resentments have suddenly disappeared. It's a strange world. Happy thanksgiving, eh.
As I was falling asleep last night I realized that our anniversary is this week, the 24th. Made me so sad, hope I can get through this week. It will be 33 years.
The older I get, the less I like our Canadian winters. The countryside can be beautiful to look at but the reality of brown slush, difficult driving and walking conditions and the friggin cold....well a little goes a long way.
Wolf I'm happy for you that you had this awareness and were able to speak your friend about it. It's so nice any time we can get some healing and let go of any extra resentments or negative emotions.
Just got back from a trip to Rhode Island for the 80th birthday of a good friend. Stayed with our daughter in Mass. It was fun to see old friends I haven't seen in several years. I was able to go without worrying about DW since she is in a memory unit. She seemed happy to see me when I got back. Tomorrow I leave for Washington, DC for a reunion with highschool friends.
I'm glad you're being able to get out and about, Marsh!
We're expecting a bit of a welcome cool down in these parts later this week, and just got a bit of a fall garden planted a few days ago -- already seeing sugar snaps, mustard, and other cold hardy stuff sprouting.
My turn to rant - must be the day. Oct 1st I filled out the application for Medicaid for me. Got a letter today stating that they need more information before I can be approved. One is Art's SS address on file is our mail forwarding service in Oregon. They won't approve me for Washington if he is listed in Oregon - weird since I am not applying for him.
Then they ask how much we owe on our Prius, Escort, MH, travel trailer - on the application I put we do not owe on the Prius or MH. Guess they can't read! The Escort and TT we sold years ago and personally went to DMV to change registration to new owners so have no idea where they came from.
Went online to change his address with SS and it won't let me. Guess part was one question was: records show you purchased Veterinarian Insurance 2 years ago which of the following was the vet - the last being none of above. We have never, ever had pet insurance.
Phoned them - waited 10 minutes then filled out to have them call me. They would not talk to me until Art proved who he was. He answered the six questions correctly but the lady was not convinced he was who he was. She kept badgering him to the point he was almost in tears and shaking. When her manager phoned back I told him how she treated him, she knew he had Alzheimer's and could not remember but she kept asking about where he lived or something. He said if he had answered the questions correctly there would be no problem. I told him, in a loud voice, that he had answered them all correctly. He would not tell what answer did not match theirs - said he did not know cause he did not take them from Art.
The manager said I could fill out the form to have someone call again but I told him if your information is wrong, it won't do any good. He kept telling me if it is that important then go into the SS office tomorrow - of which I will. Also, will check into being representative payee even though in Vancouver office they told me I don't need to be.
Art has finally stopped shaking but I am still fuming.
I was out trying to put all the flower pots to bed this morning, when all of a sudden the sky opened up and ice pellets came down from the heavens. I guess winter is just around the corner. Haven't got the winter tires on the car yet, and won't for a week or so as the local mechanic is out hunting.
I had difficulty being patient today. It just wasn't a good day. This morning DH thought it was Sunday and wondered why I wasn't going to watch NASCAR. He got up from his nap in the afternoon and asked what I was making - I was finishing off the bread he had started to make, and forgot. And he left the kitchen in a mess. Then he decided he needed to do some copying on the printer, 10 minutes before dinner was on the table. Of course, I had to drop everything and give him a hand as the technology is beyond him now. I'm tired, and cranky and its days like this that I wonder how much longer I can do this. Thanks for letting me vent.