Well my sweet hubs who is just 49 and has been dealing with this dreaded disease for 3 years now.....finally wet the bed the other night. I knew it would happen at some point, but it just seemed so sudden. And he has two other times this week. He is devastated about it and doesn't really understand why this is happening to him. I am bummed, but realize it's just another step in this cruel disease. Just wondering if anyone has some tips for night time incontinence. I did buy 4 waterproof pads and layered the bed, pad, Mattress pad, pad, fitted sheet, pad, pad, fitted sheet. I really don't want him to wear depends yet, he would be so humiliated, but I know at some point we will. Until then I will have to keep washing sheets and pads and re-doing the bed. We can also sleep in my son's queen size bed while he is at college if the bed is too wet.
Samismom22 I really feel for you. My DH started to wear pullups in August and although he is older, when he has wet the bed he is also humiliated. I don't have any practical advice to give you, just some hugs going your way.
Samismom22 My dh is much older(82). Doesn't mind the pull ups, calls them diapers. He is partially incontinent, but wears pull ups all the time. I have checked into rubber sheets, ( they are something besides rubber) I plan to get one to protect the mattress. He just started this in July. The first time it happened at night, he didn't mention it until later in the day. He said, I know why I weighed heavy this morning, this thing I wear was full of water, don't know how that happened. He does now realize, he doesn't make it in time. You might explain to your lo that the part of the brain that sends the signal that he has to go is broken, so he shouldn't blame himself. The pull-ups look just like Jockie shorts, and you can't tell someone is wearing them. He would feel more confident with them on. My dh wears boxers over them. I read about the signal to the brain in reading about vascular dementia, my dh has alz as well. I'm so sorry you are traveling this road at such a young age. Bless you, and good luck with this.
I am sorry that you are dealing with this problem, but from my experience, the only solution is to get him into Depends ASAP. You know your husband better than anyone, so you know what works best in getting him to do what he resists.
I would think that the humiliation of soaked sheets every morning is far worse than wearing Depends that no one but you and he will see or know about. I realize that his reasoning button is broken, but use whatever strategy will work to make him wear the Depends. If his concern for you is high, you could tell him that changing and washing all of the bedding every day is exhausting you. You could tell him that being wet every day will give him a rash that will be painful and hard to treat (true).
In our case, I was lucky. The wet bed upset my husband so much that he asked for the Depends, and decided on his own to wear them in the day as well as night.
Samismom- My DH is 65 and he began to wet the bed a couple of years ago-we immediately bought the depends and he started wearing them but he wet through them ,so we doubled up on them at bedtime--still bed was soaked 2-3 times a night.We tried extra padding and plastic outer pants and still soaked through everything.Finally out of desperation and exhaustion from being up changing the bed at night and doing so much laundry,I talked to the Dr. about the Texas Catheter,which is an external cath for men. The Dr. said it was worth a try-so that has now been about 2 years ago and we have had only an occasional wet bed since then This has been a blessing to me because I was ready to make him sleep naked in the bathtub!!! Wish I could be of more help but will keep you and him in our prayers and hope you get something to help out this situation.
samismom, the layering of protective mattress covers and pads is a good start but it really won't help with the incontinence and your husband getting himself wet (which as we know is uncomfortable).
There is an alternative to the pull-ups (Depends, etc). They look and feel like jockey shorts (briefs) and are washable and reusable, but they are expensive. It might be worth ordering one or two and see how that goes. He could wear them only at night if that's the only time he has a problem. You can find them on Amazon.com Wearever Incontinence briefs. Or go to weareverincontinence.com.
My husband is 63 and just started wearing pull-ups all the time because he is becoming occasionally bowel incontinent and we never know when/where it might happen. So to be safe, it's pull-ups. He hates them and tears them off frequently. I have the wearever underpants but they're made more for urinary incontinence.
Even with Depends my wife was wetting the bed at night. Then I found Tranquility Overnight briefs at "The Alzheimer Store". These, plus a booster pad, will hold 44 ounces of urine. Since using this only rarely has she exceeded capacity and wet the bed. They look just like Depends.
This is a good thread and it would be helpful if it popped up when "incontinence" is typed into a search. Because the title doesn't have anything in it that indicates the topic, the search engine doesn't recognize it. Do any of you computer savvy people out there have ideas on this (could a subtitle be added??) - or am I not searching correctly?
I persuaded my husband to use a condom (texas) catheter when we are going out during the day by pointing out that politicians use them for filibusters. He likes the Depends Real Fit pullups, which are more like underwear. He adds some pads (guards) to those--several at night and one during the day so he can change it easily instead of changing the whole brief.
LFL, those wearever underpants are great! I use them although he is not yet incontinent but I think getting close. I also swap them out for Tenas sometimes just to get him used to those.
pamsc, I just thought those long winded legislators had amazing bladder strength...who knew???? Actually, I think that's cheating...they should have to stay as long as they "can hold it" and not a minute longer. So now we know how the men can stand there so long, what do the women use?
Vickie, good idea. I am considering dying his black because his toileting issues leave "streaks" (if you know what I mean) which cannot be bleached out on regular underwear and I don't think the wearever briefs can be bleached with the gel for incontinence.
FYI, Some people do bleach the Wearever briefs - it probably shortens the life of the fabric and elastic, but everything comes at a cost. Also, they do have a nasty odor at the end of the day so soaking or washing is necessary. They are used a lot for urological/prostate dribbling; not sure they would work for major incontinence but they are a good product for beginning incontinence. kind of like minipads for the light days. :)
Wow everyone this is SO helpful!! Thanks. love that wearever website. They may be what we need. The weird thing is he really didn't even seem to notice he was soaked. He just asked what the smell was? He hasn't wet every night, so I may hold out a bit longer to ease into the depends/incontinence briefs.
Thanks bluedaze for visiting our family website, we have had a lot of people helping and supporting our family in our community, it is my way of keeping them updated!
I have yet to find anything that will keep my husband's bed dry all night. The best I have found for him is the Abena Abriform M4. They hold about 32 ounces of liquid but since he is a side sleeper he still leaks sometimes. From my research I have found that there is little you can do to stop leakage from a man who sleeps on his side. We can't used the condom style catheter because he won't keep it on. On his bed he has a plastic mattress cover and then his sheet. On top of that I place a washable pad with wings that go under the sides of the bed so he doesn't pull it out and then another waterproof pad which is the size of a twin size mattress. Most mornings I just need to replace the top pad with a new one. He doesn't seem to be bothered with being wet at all so I try to be diligent about keeping him clean and dry. He doesn't speak so I have to check him periodically throughout the day.
During the day he wears Tena for men briefs. These work wonderfully for him and he rarely leaks. I get them at Walgreens.
samsimom my heart breaks, and rejoices too looking at your website. You are so blessed to have such strong faith.
The first time Dado had an accident, we were sitting at the neighbors and when we got up and walked home, I saw that his shorts were soaked, and he did not even know. My heart just twisted and crushed for him. I was lucky, he did not fight wearing the briefs. Now, he is wheelchair bound and no amount of diapers can contain the pee. As we live in a warm climate, after it happens, they change him and clean him and switch him to another wheelchair. They take the other one out and hose it down.
Anyway, I just think you and your family are amazing.
I am the only one (besides the person who started the thread) who can edit or change it. As you can see, I took your suggestion and added " incontinence" to the title. Good idea.
Samismom,
My husband never knew when he was wet either. Still doesn't. It MAY be because the briefs are made to absorb liquid and keep the skin dry. It may also be that because of the brain damage, they are oblivious. My guess is that it's a combination of the two.
Also, if you do a search for "incontinence" at the top of this page, you will get a lot more information.
We had years of incontinence to deal with and you guys are lucky! Now there are ads for incontinence supplies for men on TV, with the motto "Protect Your Manhood" and touting "shields". Your guys are going to need more than that, of course, but it seems like every season there are a few more new products available to help. My husband got used to the ones sold at Walmart pretty early on. My impression is that guys may be more matter-of-fact about it than women are.
Also - and you'll see us discussing this in the older threads - transition them to sweat pants or running pants or, when you can find them, drawstring pants. That unzipping and pulling things out takes WAY too much time for them.
I believe there is no longer embarrassment or shame associated with wearing some kind of incontinence supplies. I know professional men of sound mind, who have had prostate surgery or ongoing problems with their prostate wear them, without shame, because it is just what it is! They will wear them the rest of their lives. Many women over the age of 70 wear some kind of protection for leakage, (not just a few, either) -it is often the aftereffects of pregnancy, weight gain etc.
So, Samismom, please don't be so hesitatant to introduce these into his wardrobe. There should be no shame whatsoever for either of you. If nothing else, try having him wear them only at night. It's certainly better than ruining good mattresses and washing sheets every day.
Samismom, they have gray Depends which may make the transition easier for him. It did for my husband. I always reassured him that the "progression" was just part of the disease and that we would have to just deal with it. I would tell him it was no big deal whether it was or not. And I would tell him that I would help him with everything and be with him always.