Not signed in (Sign In)

Vanilla 1.1.2 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

    • CommentAuthorJoAnne
    • CommentTimeSep 23rd 2013 edited
     
    After caring for my husband since 2008,
    He is now in a Dementia unit.
    My family are all a plane trip away and friends have drifted away.
    I am 77 and have limitations. The loneliness cuts like a knife.
    Each day I spend a couple of hours with my husband and help to feed him.
    That is the high light of my day.
    Then nothing, everyone in my family is
    busy and they call once in a while.
    How do other older spouses deal with situations like
    this?
    Thank you. JoAnne.
  1.  
    Hello and welcome to our group. It must be very difficult to be alone. I am not in that situation but sometimes feel
    Lonely in the midst of others. I often feel lonely with my DH.

    I am sure others who are older and alone I'll have more to stay. Hang with us and you will have company.
  2.  
    JoAnne

    ....Welcome to our group. I'm not good at giving advise, but I can
    tell you how I survived loneliness. When I had my Dear Helen at
    home, I was too busy to be lonely, and of course she was still there
    for me, But when I had to place her in a nursing home I felt the
    loneliness you are talking about, even though I was fortunate enough
    to have family and friends around me.
    ....Family and friends can only help so much. I still had to go to
    bed each night alone, and wake up alone every morning. I'm sure you
    know what that is like.
    ....The thing that rescued me was finding something that I enjoyed
    doing that would keep me busy and give me something to think about.
    If you click on my name you will see that I'm older than dirt, and I
    don't get out of the house much, But there are so many interesting
    things in this world and with a computer to help me, and with some
    initial determination, I found myself too busy to be lonely.
    ....I can't say enough about what a great help this website was for
    me. I lurked around on it a long time before I gathered the courage
    to post something because I never considered myself a writer and
    could barely type. But when I did get involved, it opened up a new
    world for me. I'm sure it will do the same for you JoAnne. Tell us
    more about yourself. Pour your heart out. We have been there. We
    understand. ....One of your new friends.......GeorgieBoy
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeSep 23rd 2013
     
    Welcome JoAnne - that is my younger sister's middle name except no 'e' on hers.

    It looks like you can use a computer, so GeorgieBoy has given you good advice. My husband is still home, in moderate stage, but it is still lonely. Not the absolute loneliness that you have, but lonely. If not for the computer I would be sitting in front of the TV all day. At least with the computer and all the online friends I have made, I have some type of life.
    • CommentAuthoryhouniey
    • CommentTimeSep 24th 2013
     
    JoAnne,I'm 79,placed my DH last Spring.I visit him almost every day and feed him lunch. Isigned up to volunteer at the NH which I enjoy immensely,I've met other volunteers and family members, and formed friendships with many of them. We do find other topics of conversation besides our loved ones(people seem to think that is all we know to talk about).I let my paperwork go to do in the evening so I have something to keep me busy,and then there is the dog always waiting to greet me.Guess I don't have too much free time to get lonely.
  3.  
    I'm 73, my dh is in stage 4 and 5. He can still stay home alone for awhile. I belong to stitching groups, and play cards one day a week. Otherwise I'm taking dh to Dr. appointments and his exercise. When I need to stay home with him, I plan to quilt, cross stitch, crochet, etc. I have to stay busy. Reach out at church, a senior center, etc, you will find your nitch. Good luck and stay with us.
    Bonnie
    •  
      CommentAuthorJoAnne N
    • CommentTimeSep 26th 2013
     
    Thank you for your responses to my note.
    I appreciate your suggestions and kind words.

    Once I get used to navigating the site,
    and getting my courage up,I hope to share
    more about my situation.
    I can certainly relate to many of the
    things that you have all said.
    JoAnne