Today my DH and I celebrate 29 years of marriage. Well, I am celebrating it silently. It just upsets him if I remind him. Then later he will not remember anyway. We have not done anything for it for 9 years now.
My family was great, They knew there was nothing 'happy'. Instead of cheerful cards they would just call and chat. That way I knew that they knew and cared.
We all understand how you feel about not only your anniversary but birthdays and Christmas and all the other significant holidays that we try to put meaning in it for us and them...Last year my DH told me not to bother with the Christmas tree....but I did anyway and he helped and in the end he loved it...and now he is gone.....so I am so glad I did put it up and had something of a Christmas. I would say it is NOT a waste of time to find some little way to celebrate those meaningful dates and holidays with them in some way even if it is just going out to a meal...you will never know when it will be the last time and if you do this, no matter how badly it may make you feel at that time, later you will not regret the effort.
Thanks everyone. Mimi you are right. Just this year has been rough. I really am not in the mood to celebrate. My DH has never been thoughtful on special occasions, I have always set things up. I really do not have the energy today. Our daughter and son in law spent the weekend with us, so that made my day. They knew what today was. My youngest daughter said next year will be 30 years, we should do something special. But, who knows what it will be like next year. The decline is slow, but has moved faster this last year. I am just tired and need a trip all to myself. He is hopefully going with his sister for 4 days October 6th. That will revive me.
I am sorry that you're experiencing your anniversary day "silently". All the special days that were once a day of celebrating are now a past memory.
Damn, I hate this disease! It's such a merciless disease...so many hearts are broken, so many marriages are stolen, and so many lives are ruined by this brutal disease called Alzheimer's.
Jackie, Happy Anniversary. Like you, we are married 29 years (Aug. 25th). He no longer remembers and when I show him our wedding pictures he does not know it's a wedding...and sometimes doesn't recognize us. But I buy him a card (I used to buy one for me too) and although we no longer go out to dinner to celebrate, I order some of our favorite food from a local restaurant and we "celebrate" at home. To me the day is important so if I have to do it all and just make it a fun day, that's what I do. Otherwise it too would be silent. (((HUGS))) to you.
Thank you so much! It's funny just having others acknowledge it makes it better. It's also funny everyone in my family called today and told me and NO one in his. They probably never remembered it. I think they are in denial we ever married, just like they were at first about his diagnosis. But my family is very close.
Happy Anniversary from me too. My dh doesn't think of it any more either. Like Jackiem29, my family does remember, his remember his birthday, and Christmas. Bonnie