I went with DH on Wednesday to have an evaluation of why he is getting stiff shoulders and knees. This was requested by his Mental health team.
Dr. Ignored my information and since DH only wanted to tell her about his one knee and an old problem with it, she totally ignored my request for her to check his shoulders for the stiffness and the other knee. They are watching for some Parkinson's as his family has a BiG history of it and it is in his generation. He has that mask and she found some mild signs last year. This Dr. Used to be so good but she is now divorced and has met a new man on the other side of the country with five kids and her mind is not on her patients anymore. Lots of us have moved to other .dr.'s. I' m going to get a new one when I move
What a pain in the butt!
So I will fix her! When he goes to respite I will ask them to check that and send the report to the MHT.
Jazzy, before a Doctor appointment it is a big help to the Doctor, if you type or write up a list of things you want him/her to address. My Doctor's commented on how much they appreciated me doing this. I also do it about my own concerns and he keeps it in my file. That way your spouse will feel "important" and the Doctor can make him feel like he in in charge of his complaints.
Now, if the Doctor is otherwise mind occupied, it may be time to shop for a new Doctor. My husband had Parkenism with both Alz and VD. Good Luck.
Jazzy, it is a pain in the butt! Your husband is more functioning than mine but they still direct questions to him. The Dr. recently told me they do that out of respect for the patient. I said ok, but you know he can't give you accurate info, don't you?
if you have durable power of attorney for healthcare or a proxy to that effect they must address your concerns and speak with you with regards to your needs. take them a copy and let the dr know you are the one who has this legal right to info and input.
I have that all on file at her office. I'm just so fed up with trying to take care of someone who doesn't 't want in the house anymore. He wants to be his own boss and makes a big stink when we go in the office to let them know they have to talk only to him and they listen to him.
My wife's doctor would direct questions to her at the beginning, and would then ask her if it was OK to ask me some questions. Fortunately, my wife has never objected.
I always fax my concerns to the doctor 2-3 days before our appointment. Then, the doctor DOES address those concerns to DH, when appropriate, but always glances at me if/when DH answers. I always sit behind DH in so he can't see my reaction to the doctor's questions. He asks DH other questions also, and I will nod yes or not at DH's answers. This has worked very well for us. But the doctor does needs to know your concerns before you get to his office.
Vickie, none of my husband's doctors have ever given me a fax number to fax info to them in advance. and when I have sent the info by snail mail several days in advance, it is clear they haven't read it. I guess I need to work on it.
Our doctor did not want e-mail but preferred fax. Once in awhile he doesn't get it before I arrive, but I always take a copy with me and give it to the nurse whom we see first and she gives it to him so he can read it before he comes in the room. Just call and ask the receptionist for their fax number. I always do it on a letterhead with my name, address, phone #, e-mail and Re: My DH's name, date and time appointment. Nothing fancy - and make it brief and to the point. No doctor is going to read a 3 page letter (Sorry Marsh). They just don't have the time.
I always fax a status report & concerns a day or two prior to an appointment. a brief list Invariably my fax is page #1 when his nurse takes her vitals and opens her chart, with his hand written notes in response to my questions ready to be addressed . She 'll try and query DW about how's she's feeling, but more a routine politer formality that an expectation of a response. Our PCP knows us both very well and long ago stopped trying to ask DW questions, it's an exercise in futility. On a good day her communications capabilities are limited to shaking her head yes or no. The only physical/verbal response that can be counted on is, if she hears mention of a scan to check on her cancer's progression, no matter what her state of dress, she'll leap from the table shaking her head no violently and run from the room making a loud noise that could be "no!!!!!"
I also do the summary/question sheet for the doctor and a separate sheet with all of the meds and dosage and how many refills are left. This makes it easy for the nurse to update the chart and call in refills after we have been seen.
I hand the receptionist a note which lists my concerns,when we are shown into the examination room, and ask her to give it to the PCP. After checking his vitals, the doctor then directs her questions and comments and examination to DH with the concerns I have raised in the note. When DH responds to her questions, she always looks at me for confirmation. And then she may ask him if its alright if she talks to me directly. He keeps his dignity, and I get satisfaction out of the visit because the doctor gets the true situation. OTOH, the doctor is very familiar with AD on a personal level, so maybe that guides her behavior.
Thanks for the education. My dh used to refuse to let me go with him, now I'm usually allowed, but, not supposed to say a word. I do the nodding as he tries to answer ?.'s. He nay go to the cardiologist, but will tell him about his knees, feet, and everything else. It has been quite a chore. Bonnie
DH was referred to a new doctor (specialist) - part of the Memory Disorder Clinic so you would think she would have a clue. She brought him into her office first and then called me in. During the visit she referred to his high blood pressure and I said "he doesn't have high blood pressure and never has". She looked at me with disbelief and said "Well he SAID he did!" and then we had to discuss the point for 5 minutes until I could convince her. I have never gone back to her. I just don't have the extra energy to deal with such nonsense.
It's time to find another doctor for your husband. You need someone who is on your team. When you do I suggest one day prior to appointment fax questions and concerns to the office.
When my husband is in the examining room the doctor will be respectful and ask him a question, but will look for me for confirmation that this is correct. If not, I will shake my head without verbally speaking. Then the doctor will briefly ask me a question. This allows my husband his dignity and I am allowed to provide the correct answer. Not only does my husband's Psychiatrist conduct his practice this way, but also the PCP and Neurologist.
Wishing you well as this must be terribly frustrating.