Well he was so angry that he screamed and yelled at me. I found him taking his pills out of the bluster pkg. and putting them back in the dosetts. We need the in blisters for the LTC. He said tough I will do what I want. I told him if you do this I will take them from you. He did it. I took them and hid them, I know I shouldn't have warned him but I forgot!!. I was in bed talking to my Daughter and he came in just screaming and then told e if I didn't give them back would do major damage. My DH heard him and called it a threat. She tried to get him to all to her but he just screamed at her. I gave him the pills but it didn't stop him from being abusive. I contacted my social worker today and she told me to all the Police next time that that will often back them off for awhile. This behaviour went on until 01:30 and then I was afraid to sleep because he kept coming into my room to see what I was doing. I'm told that he is losing control and is fighting to hang on, but I am not to put myself in danger. Just call for help. This is just to much to watch happen to him and to be verbally abused. He as his pills back and if he removes them from the blisters, well it will cost a retry penny to replace them as insurance will not pay twice. He is really upset because I am taking a two day course this Sunday and next Sunday. I guess he is unhappy with me starting to do things on my own. I'm really excited to go!! WOW! My son just called and DH goes with them from tomorrow at 13:00 to Sunday at 18:30. What a treat!!!
Jazzy, keep yourself safe. Can your son take him tonight??? Do you have Ativan or Klonopin to give him to settle down? Can you call his doctor for some advice or meds? Please do not put yourself in danger! Can you leave and one of your sons come and stay with him? This is serious and you need to be safe. Call the police if you must but you have to be safe. (((HUGS)))
DH went to ADP to day and came home in a better place. He is going to our sons from noon tomorrow until Sunday evening. The it is ADP Mon,Wed, and Friday. Other son comes on Sunday and on that Monday he goes for 9days respite.
He is so afraid of loosing control of his life, that it is so painful to watch. He is fighting so hard and I am in the way. I will not be handling anything for him now and soon it will be that he can't. I'm alright and I do have places to hide and get away. I wear my wallet, keys and cell in my pants all the time. He was much worse then this last year. This is mild, believe me.
He was awake a few minutes ago and as I walked by his room it was a pleasant..Hello.. Then he lay back down but I am not sure if he is sleeping. He was angry with me for calling my support team for advise. He said I just on the phone and tell everyone how bad and mean he was. I just said well I need to find out what to do to help you past this stage. He seemed to be alright with that answer. Fib, Fib! I was scared and needed a voice tell me what to do. I needed someone for me! To hell with him at that point. I told his caseworker yesterday that if he decides not to go to longterm care that I am out of here and he can get someone else to look after him. I think they were shocked and maybe a little concerned by my attitude.
Jazzy - I'll share what the doctor and nurse told me. When he gets like that call 911 and tell them his condition and the police will take him to a psych ward to do evaluation and they won't bring him back and don't you take him back. Tell them up front you refuse to have him back in your home. That you are unwilling to put yourself in danger anymore. He'll go from there to placement.
To get them moving my argument to them was if I was being abused by my spouse and he was well I would have all kinds of support and help to get me out of this situation but because he's sick.....I can't leave and if I did I would be charged with elder abuse or neglect. Like what gives!!!
You, me, all of us should not be in this situation.
Amber I had a big letter writing war with the Provincial Minister of Health and Welfare last year. I understand that they did need to change things so there is no abuse, but the rights they gave to Dementia patients took away totally the rights of the caregiver. Dr.'s only ave to talk to them, cares workers must get their permission to talk to s, and on and on. There needs to be something in place to protect our health and our finances. I just et so fed up. He just demands that something not be done and ping it's gone. He refuses to do something or take Meds , ping gone. Done. It's just not good for us. All we an do is rant on the web and cry.
Jazzy - Do you have a Representation Agreement - Section 9 ? Ask the Alzheimer Society about it. They're the one that told me about it. I got hubby to sign his by having the lawyer make one up for me too and signing it so he is my rep....then I revoked it. Once it is in place ...the geri psychiatrist said it is and that's it..... I have the control over his meds, restraints, everything to do with his care, I make all the decisions. It's new but what an agreement to have.
One part reads -
I authorized my Representative to do anything that the Representative considers necessary in relation to my personal care and health care including:
a) give consent on my behalf to any type of health care and even if I refuse at that time to give my consent to the type of health care described;
f) physically restrain, move or manage me, or have me physically restrained, moved or managed, when necessary and despite my objections at that time.
The doctors and nurses are sure happy I have this document.
Yes checked 1000 Island area. You're going to come out west to Edmonton and maybe we can tackle that mall there. Plus we have a mountain to climb in Jasper. Kamloops is the biggest city near me.
I don't know what they use in the states or if they have anything like that.
I know how that is. I slept with my handbag under my bed; my keys and cell under my pillow and the house alarm system on chime. This was after his car was disabled and there were double locks on exit doors. My car was set on alarm as well.
Talking on the phone was always a challenge. He could not stand the sound of a ringing phone and so I set the landline to flash only. Heck, every moment of every day was a challenge.
DH spent Saturday night and Sunday with our son and they said he was very quiet. My son told his partner that he can't figure out how I do it. She ask what he meant and he said I have to keep him busy every minute. No down time. They noticed a complete change in him the minute I walked in the door. Then he comp,aimed to our son that it was because I didn't go and say hello to him. I came out side where everyone was sitting and said hi everyone, I'm back!! He couldn't figure out how to answer my cell phone so I took it and he said I grabbed it out of my hand. He can find all kinds of bad things I do to him. I am glad that they saw the change and that they can see how tiring it is for me on a daily basis. After we got home he was so distant and I asked why he told me it is because I am so mean to him and that I couldn't even come over to him and say hello. It is just a great big battle for him and he is demanding my full attention and special acknowledgement just for him. This is new. He used to always come and give me a big hug when I arrived. I never had to go and find him. Sad changes and sometimes very hurtful. They are also very hard to know what is the right thing to do at any given time. It could go any way.