Hubby still thinks he is fine to drive, well he drove off in his truck and I lost him for 5 hours.....I was out looking around where he usually drives thinking he probably found someone he knows to BS with. I couldn't find his truck any where. After 3 hours I was getting really concerned because there are lots of logging road out into the woods he could of gone and who know where he could of been.
One of the time when I check back at the cabin I also went in and check the phone for messages. There was one and it was from a women working at a business in a town 250 km away. She said he had been in and was very disorientated and could only remember our phone number and my name. They had pointed him the right direction home and he went on his way. Off I go and didn't meet him till 110 km away on the hwy....thank goodness he could of gone so many different routes. He didn't stop but kept on going for another 70 km where he suddenly pulled over and walked back to my car and said where did you come from. He hadn't realize I was following him until just then even though I was flashing my lights and did a u turn to get behind him. I followed him home and watching him on the road if a cop had followed him he would of pulled him over to check for drunk driving, all over his lane. Again thank goodness it's a country road with very little traffic.
When we got him, I wasn't mad...it's the disease.... but he tried to say he had gone to our small town that is closer and was looking around. He isn't suppose to go any where but right within 1.5 km to country store and back. I said no that I had gotten a phone call from a women at the other town and what happened. He said he didn't remember and he didn't remember the whole day, it was a black out and there was nothing until he stopped on the hwy and came and talked to me.
I said you know your driving days are over and he agreed. I could see he was really disturbed by what happened and I think finally it hit him what this disease is doing to him.
Well it's morning and lets see if he still agrees he shouldn't be driving any more. I plan to take him to the doctor to get him checked just in case it's something else.
Amber how very scary. I cannot say Dado had blackouts, though in a way...as he would not remember from one moment to next. The last time he drove he totally pulled right in front of another car and it was a close call. In those days I was in total denial about his condition.
I hope that this will turn in to a blessing in disguise, sorry I know it is awful but maybe your guy will stop driving without a fuss now. If he remembers , poor dear.
No black outs here, but lots of 'lost time'. Doesn't remember from one minute to the next. Typical dementia. Hope the driving issue is forgotten by him!
Amber, call it what you will - black outs or lost time. ABSOLUTELY NO DRIVING and YOU"RE the responsible adult. My husband went out for some ice cream at the grocery store at 2:00 pm. Bright, sunny day; the store's about 8 miles away. I was upstairs in bed sleeping because I felt I was coming down with something, so I didn't know he had left. I woke at 5:00 pm and looked for him in the house...nowhere to be found. Searched for him until 10:00 pm when I called the police to file a missing persons report. At 4:30 am the next day I got a call from the state police over 80 miles away that they caught him trying to go through a toll the wrong way and had him in custody. He was confused and disoriented. I took him home, hid the keys and gave his car away that day. He's lucky he didn't kill an innocent person or god forbid a family.
Only after I got the ezpass statement and my debit card statement did I put together that he had travelled over 250 miles from central NJ to Maryland and back not knowing where he was. I believe he slept by the road with a blanket I had in the car, he filled up his car a minimum of 3 times ($50.00 each time). The only way I know when he left was there was a box of melted ice cream in the back seat with the grocery receipt time stamped 2:00 pm when he bought the ice cream.
He had no idea where he had gone, how far he had travelled or why I was picking him up.
Amber I am so sorry you had to go searching for him. I know how scary that is. Mine will not remember whole blocks of days or events. I don't know if that is blackouts or loss of time. When he has been lost and I found him, now 4 times. Once in the truck (no longer driving), once walking off (ended up 5 miles away), oh 2 times on bicycle. No longer riding a bike. He remembers nothing of the event. That's what's bad, because he thinks he should still do these things. But he will always say "I thought I was doing better". It's that not realizing they have the disease. Hope he still agrees with not driving.
Amber, this is a big part of the disease and it will grow. One of us, a few years ago, lost her husband overnight because he drove out of town!! We were all worried sick!!
Remember that the reason button is broken. Don't ask him if he remembers not to drive. Hide his truck somewhere and keep your keys on you and say "I don't know where your truck is....where do you want me to drive you?" THEN, later, you will have to put him in the back seat, because he might grab the steering wheel and try to wreck the car and the child locks are on the back doors...
Make certain he has his cell phone on him in case he walks away. You can track him by its GPS. My greatest fear was losing him.
I second what Mary said. DO NOT LET HIM HAVE THE KEYS OR VEHICLE. He or some innocent person could end up dead. You couldn't live with that. You are also liable in an accident if a Doctor exam shows he has dementia. You could lose everything. It is hard but you can do it. Do not give him a choice. Tell him the Doctor said No more driving. I cannot empathize enough about this. I have two friends here at home still letting their husbands drive "a usual route and they are still doing ok". I shutter every time they say that. I might be in his way sometime when he makes a bad turn at a stop light, or one of my kids may be. One of their daughters told me she followed him on the road one day and "He should NOT be on the road driving" but the mother just sat there. Something bad will happen anytime - our Neuro told my dh "I am not worried about your driving, I am worried about the other driver who may turn in front of you and you have a reaction delay". He didn't say anything more to her about how good his driving was.
Amber-I am the one who's husband was missing for over 24hrs. The day I got him home I sold both of our cars. I carried the key to my new one with me at all times and hid the other.
Amber, My suggestion would be to lose the keys and also take off battery connection, you will have to fib to him when he tries to go with it, if he finds the keys it won't start, it's broken down and you will get it fixed later, much later. When my hb drove someone off the road and it was reported, he had to take a driver test and he couldn't pass it. I then suggested that we trade his truck and my car in and got a van. He didn't have any idea how to drive the van or even how the key worked as it was not like a key but a device to put in the ignition. It is not safe for him or anyone on the road, or even near the road. As much as it is alien to our nature we have to be devious and try to out think them. That's hard when we have no idea what will come up next. LOL. Dorie
The last time my dh drove I was afraid for us and others on the road. I made an appointment with our primary care doctor and asked him to tell dh that he couldn't drive. What the doctor did say was "I think it would be better if someone else drive." Dh accepted that and never asked to drive again although he did carry keys - they didn't fit anything - but it satisfied him. Good luck to you it is hard to realize that our dear ones are slipping away from us. My heart goes out to you.
Amber, I hope the one thing that your hubby can remember is that he shouldn't be driving - how frightening for you! We live in similar territory - lots of logging roads and narrow tracks, some with flooded beaver dams on them. So its very easy to get stranded in the middle of nowhere, and be lost for a very long time. My DH has been pretty complacent with the driving issue, since his license was pulled a year ago, but I realize now that for the last year he was driving he was probably blacking out or losing time whenever he went farther than to the corner store and back. Now when he loses time its usually in the house, and I can deal with that.
its possible it could be a TIA *transient aschemic attack or a type of blackout where they can function on the level but do not remember it or have any idea they had one. the brain is affected in many areas and we just never know what part will cause havoc. its your duty as his 'agent in fact' once diagnosed, to make sure hes safe and others who are as well. divvi
Up here the law is different....we, the doctor, the geri psychiatrist have written letters into the motor vehicle branch. I've called and talked to them and the insurance company and the response we get is as long as he passes the drivers test...which he did this spring..... he can drive. Diagnosis doesn't matter....my hair has gotten a lot grayer with this. He is too big and strong for me to fight with but this time I told him if he ever tries to drive again I'm calling the cops.
Keys are all gone. When he saw that he's been flipping me the single finger salute all day. Next is to get his license out of his wallet. Gonna make a doctor's appointment and make him give it to him. He hasn't fought with me driving him to the store so that's good.
One day I just called the insurance company and told them to take him off the insurance. He was standing next to the phone and understood. I guess I got away easy with the driving issue. He never challenged that decision. My neighbor on the other hand had to get the police involved. Every case is different