Dado continues to sort of "stay the same", though since taking him off the Aricept a month ago he is a little more verbal, not so zombie like, and that is nice. As he is confined to a wheelchair I have requested for some kind of physical therapy, and that is in the works.
I will go pick him up today, shuffle him in to the car, with help, and take him for a little ride. There is a day coming when this will be impossible, and as he will miss his "holo holo" (riding), I am going to squeeze in as many as I can.
Wolf posted a lovely link in the positive thoughts thread, read it if you want to smile and weep.
Beautiful sunny day, morning it was 8C and some of the leaves are just starting to turn. Got most of the fire wood stacked by the cabin ready for winter. Working on getting my produce canned and freezing done. Fall is coming and about 6 - 7 weeks till the first snow fall.
It is muggy here on the Central Coast...seems there is a tropical storm off the coast of Baja which could turn into a full typhoon today.. Other than that...it is 3 weeks..
Very muggy here in central PA.Opened our antique shop for a few hours today,quite busy,noticied people were buying smaller items than usual and paying with one dollar bills,which is very unusual.All my cats have headed to the woods for the shade,but they'll be back for sure at suppertime.Love them, they're what keeps me sane.Did get poison ivy from one of them.
Rain in a thunderstorm. No wind yet. My windows have been open for three weeks. My cats are going to miss that. I pushed a bureau up against the window in the guest bedroom and it took a little while for them to figure it out. The bureau is the exact height of the bottom of the window. They're sitting there beside each other now watching the birds fly by and listening to the world. Some males cats tour by regularly now (mine are both female) and the fuss they put up wanting to suddenly go outside makes me think of having teenagers in the house.
I used to love September and the fall. Now that I've actually spent the summer aware that it is summer and I can go out into it if I want to, I'm looking forward to the winter where I have an excuse to just cocoon in the house. I don't know whether you know this but it gets cold in the winter in Canada.
Let me explain to Floridians and those living in Hawaii what that means. White stuff falls out of the sky and it is frigging COLD. It builds up on the ground and can get several feet high and it's not just cold, it's heavy and it's slippery. The air gets so cold you can see your own breath like steam escaping and if you stick your tongue on the wrong thing it can instantly freeze to it. Hee hee hee.
Beautiful weather here in Maine, but rain predicted for tomorrow and Tuesday. My wife seems to be settling in well in the memory unit. Today as I got ready to leave she said "you're wonderful".
I'm still getting adjusted to my new living conditions - small one bedroom apartment, people I don't know yet, tourist traffic that takes up all parking spaces at supermarket, etc. My older daughter and husband are still here until October when they move to Palmetto, Florida. One change from my previous living arrangement I don't like - previous place at dinner we were seated with someone different each night so we got to know everyone quickly. Here we sit with same persons every night. I am sitting with a couple who also just moved in. They are very pleasant and we have good conversations, but I am not getting to know the others.
Unseasonably warm humid day today. The lake was even warm enough for a swim. The local fair is on this weekend, the kids are already back at school and despite the weather, fall is in the air. The hummingbirds have started to head south, the starlings are forming larger and larger flocks, and there were Canada geese on the lake this morning. Amber, I wish I was as well prepared for winter as you are with the wood all piled by the house. Our wood hasn't even been delivered yet!
Wolf, love your explanation of winter. I love winter, of course I don't have to go out to work or shopping,I am in the process now of stocking the freezer with enough food to feed an army. The dog and cats appreciate any and all leftovers.
Bonnie - that was one of the things I was making a list of what help I'll need for the winter. Firewood was one, I have about 3 to 4 years stacked up but after that ...we used to go just out back and cut up the trees that had fallen over and we also had the pine beetle kill happen here and have been cutting down the dead trees. I have the most interesting stair case made from the pine that the beetle had infested. Black mixed in with the brown. Another was getting my drive way plowed. I have to go looking for someone to do that. I was thinking of getting a blade put in my ATV but I don't want to have to get it winterized and then all the work....probably easier to pay someone. I'll have to think about that one. The other is my dogs when I go back to work....the lab has a good winter coat and I can put in a dog door in the work shop and have a heater on. It's that little Jack Russel that worries me....darn little ankle biter and no hair to keep him warm. If I can't come up with a plan I'll have to find a new home for him.
Funny story...Jack Russel has a wiry hair coat and he was running through the snow then came to the patio door and jumping up and down frantically to be let in. When I let him in he goes immediately to the wood stove and sit there with his belly facing the fire. I then realize that he has Icicles hanging on his willy. Poor little guy.
We used to have a Jack Russell - short coat, short legs, so he would definitely get a chilly willy! :). But he loved the snow. I have a neighbor custom cut my wood, because my wood stove is very small (but efficient) and won't take anything over 16" long. So he cuts the wood for me to be "the size of a loaf of bread". Another neighbor snowplows for me - he has never asked for a cent. He knows that I keep an eye on his place when he isn't there and will walk the dog when asked. Occasionally I will give him a 40 pounder of his favorite beverage as a way of saying thankyou.
What a riot. A 26er and a 40 pounder. Twenty six ounce and forty ounce bottles. I haven't bought one of those since getting pie eyed was required at social gatherings nobody drove home from. I miss those days. Feeling like you were going to live forever.
I'm glad the kids don't listen when the old people tell them otherwise.
I like what you did for your cats. My little pomeranian loves to go for a ride, but with Dear Helen gone, there is no lap for him to sit on so I had to build a platform for him so he could see out the window and bark at everything that needs to be barked at, Now anyone else has to ride in the rear, because the front seat is reserved for Ozzy.
Another comment you made, brought back to me a memory of the time I was on a troop ship, in the winter time off the coast of Alaska when a German shepherd dog decided to lick the railing on the deck. It was pure pandemonium with the howling and everyone running around bringing hot water to pour on the railing. but it wasn't until someone came with an acetylene torch that the poor dog was set free and the howling stopped.
Just thought you needed to know about this, Wolf...........GeorgieBoy
Typical FL day summer weather low 90's until 3 PM when the clouds rolled in; winds in the 40-50 mph range torrential rain for 30 min and now beautiful and in the 80's. All set for a barbecue this PM by the pool with neighbors
Canada geese live here year round. Sept.just means college football and something to watch on tv. I will be mowing grass for another month and maybe more. Leaves don't turn until mid October but then it is a beautiful sight - not like New England exactly but pretty none the less. No snow plows in sight here sometimes no measurable snow and that's ok by me. Sometimes icey though and that's the pits.
Sept came in with temps still in the 90s. By this weekend we are finally suppose to be down near 80. I am tired of hearing the a/c run - will be nice to leave the windows and door open during the day.
Got DIL and kids moved last Thursday. Art did well helping her dad haul in the heavy stuff and put it together while I got a workout hauling boxes up her stairs. I am really out of shape and thought I would be real sore the next day but the only sore spot was my biceps!
Friday was a frustrating day - long story but I got frustrated with him forgetting to do things and then he had a melt down. I think we both were reacting from the exhaustion the day before. It was a 2.5 hour drive up to where she moved and then back that night. Kind of pay back cause he is finding out how boring it is to be a passenger - something I endured for years!
Next exhaustion comes Sunday when we drive to Portland (5 hour drive) for his doctor appointments on Monday. He has his sleep clinic at 11:30, neurologist at 12:30 and primary at 3:30. Then I can look into changing him to the Spokane VA.
Ow. I decided to try jogging as my needed aerobic exercise and ended up giving myself Achilles Tendinitis. I wasn't even working THAT hard. Bummer. Now healing from that, but will stick to fast walking and the elliptical in the future.
Meanwhile, turns out I'm having my cataracts fixed in both eyes in October. Yes, not quite 52 and have operable cataracts. Life is weird, ya' know?
Still hot and humid here...not impossibly so but for the central coast it is unusual. The tropical storm off Baja I guess must be stalled..It smelled a bit like rain for awhile yesterday. Sun is out and it helps not to have gloomy days right now..
I was reading post about the trauma their husband has gone through giving up their license. Reminded me it is September already and hb's license expires. I know it has to go and he seems to be fine but I feel so bad for him. ;-( Oh well.
Some of you may remember my story about our lifelong friends who ran away screaming almost immediately and my journey to stop sticking needles into little puppets and forgive and forget (the jury is still out - no active hating but forgiving not so much).
Well Beelzebub phoned me after two years. One of the wives has a rare form of cancer and is starting to undergo treatment.
We don't know what twists and turns the road holds and while I wish her well, I can also see this is the end of that sorry chapter's hold on me.
I can see and hear my wife reacting to this news and feeling a ton of empathy for her friend. It didn't happen that way and she has been spared this saddness and also the death of another close friend some months ago. Cold comfort but better than nothing.
Wolf, I have an interesting encounter coming up soon. A man who tried to professionally destroy my husband thirty years ago has come forward and apologized (after I sent a donation to a charity when his wife died). His actions created an "Atonement" of sorts and the stress and anxiety in my husband, I believe, contributed to AD. Evidently he has been remorseful all this time, but didn't apologize until my husband was deep in the throes of AD. So I asked him if we might talk. I would like to know what happened and why he did what he did. The question this raises is: does an apology count if it is offered when the recipient has AD.?
I hope I don't regret asking for the meeting, but then, I have few expectations of anything these days.
marche, you are DH's 'other self' now. If this will give you some peace of mind, do it. If he agrees to talk to you, perhaps the apology is real and yes, I think it will count.
I agree with Vickie. Let the man apologize and get the facts...you may choose to forgive him or not that is up to you. Keep in mind, though, that some how some way there is a lesson to be learned....the whys for you and maybe clarity for him too...sometimes we don't know what motives are and can judge wrongly. Other times we are on target but there is no harm in letting this fellow apologize to you. It is not always easy for the wronger to ask forgiveness from one he has hurt intentionally or not.
Just now putting DH down for a nap. And right before he got into bed. He turned around and gave me a hug and a kiss. That was the first one in months. He mumbled something. But I think it was, I was good to him. He melted my heart.
Time keeps going no matter what happens or how I feel. Even when I feel like time has stopped. I don't know if I want time to stop or keep going but it looks like I don't have a choice anyway. This evening as I was walking back home from Target I could feel fall in the air already. I am not ready for the cold weather because that is usually when my H changes a lot. Mentally and physically. It is going to happen though so here I go!
Just had a talk with my financial advisor. When I told him what my monthly expenses would be now that my wife is in Assisted Living there was a period of silence. Then he said he guessed he had some work to do to figure out how I can afford it. I told him I thought we would be OK if neither of us lives too long, but since we are both from long-lived families that may be a problem
Sending out prayer, pixie dust, good vibes, and hope for you guys Marsh. You can have a big portion of all the "good luck" I have received this week...
Hb has is yearly check-ups yesterday. Sleep clinic adjusted his CPAP - upped the pressure cause he was having more episodes of stop breathing than they liked. Neuro said he is doing good. I know he did worse on the MMSE - he had not been practicing so it really showed. I do not know what the score was but did not know a lot of answers. In fact the only ones I remember is he: got one of the three words, could spell world backwards, did OK on copying the octagon drawing (she does not do the clock), could follow directions to take the paper in right hand, fold in half and put on floor, knew the pen, could write a sentence (same one every time - I love Charlotte), but did not know the month, date, year, season, what city he was in (always knew the doctor was in Portland before), county it is in (has been consistent saying Pierce even though we have never lived in that county). She doesn't ask where we live due to us moving around. Last year he improved from 18-22 cause he practiced but this should be easily in the teens.
He is physically healthy - just his brain is sick. Many of us have that frustration where they are physically healthy, just not their brain.
She said come back in a year. So she made the appointment and if I make the decision to change to Spokane we can just cancel. I was telling her about the phone conversation last spring with his sister - of them talking in circles and I had to laugh. We had talked family history before but it never seem to interest her, but this time it did. Wanted to know if he had relatives from Iowa which I don't know. Before when I asked about genetic testing she said the aPoe 4 was the only one to test for. Now she said it is more or less useless but to test for presenilin which the VA now covers. She ordered the test so now I wait to hear from the nurse as to the cost/copay I would have and if it can be done at The Dalles VA which is only 2 1/2 hours vs 4 1/2 hours to Portland. And decide if I want to do it. We have no bio children so it would be for my own knowledge and his nieces.
He did ask coming home if I wanted him to drive. I told him he can't anymore and if he did, would he know how to get home cause I would not tell him. He got in the passenger seat!
Charlotte, did you tell the doctor that your DH had "practiced" for the test. I wonder if that's a problem. They are trying to check some short term memory challenges and if he knew what the question was going to be.. mmm. I don't know why they use the very same questions. If ever I am tested, I will score 30 without a doubt., because I have all the answers, too. Just like your DH. If they change the math (Backward from 100 by 7's), I'll be stuck, but I'm a whiz on the 7's.
Maybe it's best if he doesn't practice for the exam next time ... in order to get a true reading of his skill and ability. She needs to change the word (World) and Newspaper, Apple, Table. The clock is a tell-all, I couldn't believe it the first time my DH put all 12 numbers between 1:00 and 5:00. I had NO idea he couldn't do that. I blamed it on all the digital clocks in our house.
Hang in there Charlotte. I am so pleased to watch you getting stronger and stronger... from the days when you were parked at your SIL's house.
She knew he had practiced last year and I pointed out it had not this time. He thought it funny and laughed along with him. She does not do the clock nor counting backwards. And she always changes the three words, sometimes four words. He practices by trying to remember where he lives, county, city, the date, day, year - those things. But, last year he made a big point of telling her he had been practicing. She really does not put a lot in that test - I think she combines the results with what I say and she observes. I really like her which is part of the reason it is hard to think of leaving her: do I want to tolerate the rain of the west side of the mountains to stay with her or the sunshine of the east side?
Charlotte - you have quite a dilemma. Personally, I would go for the sunshine of the east side - I never could consider living in Vancouver BC because I need sun to keep me happy. And at some point you are going to have to think of yourself. But finding a good doctor is difficult. Is your DH far enough along that it would be obvious to most doctors what stage he is in?
bqd, I have to disagree, I lived in Vancouver BC and got a good bit of sunshine, especially during the summer. Yes, there was a large number of foggy and drizzly days, but we exaggerate that to keep too many people from moving in. Living that far north, compared to everywhere else I have lived, was great in terms of very long days in the summer. Of course I had to deal with short days in the winter.
As to practicing for the MMSE, yeah, you aren't supposed to practise for it. You aren't supposed to take it too frequently to avoid memorizing the answers. But the fact that your husband practiced last year and bragged about it, and didn't practice this year, is more significant than the test itself.
Paul, I have been to Vancouver in the summer months, as well as the winter months, and it is true that there is sunshine in the summertime. But I need sunshine most in the winter months, when Vancouver can be damp, cold rainy, and miserable. I'll stay where I am - yes, our winters are colder, but we get a lot of sunshine with that cold, even though the days are short, and that keeps a smile on my face. :-)
Been a wonderful two weeks of Sept: Yesterday DW awoke with severe belly pain (history of bowel cancer) Saw our primary who convinced her to have a scan done. Promised her no surgery, no chemo, he just wants to see what's going on that's causing her pain. Scan date offered was Friday 13th, no thanks, going on Monday, Md does not want them to sedate her with any IV meds in order to get her to lay still, I'm to give her 1.5 mg of Lorazepam before the procedure. Lot's of luck! Today another new experience: Her first time experiencing urinary incontinence. Shouldn't have thrown out the Depends Coupons from the Sunday paper
bqd, the best part of Vancouver in winter when it snows. It is supposed to be rare but happened every winter I was there. It is so funny because the natives can't deal with snow, I saw people abandoning their cars as soon as the flake hit the road. Now Thunder Bay, they know how to deal with snow. I remember going tout to dinner in a snow storm, and by the time dinner was finished there was a few feet of snow on the ground but all of the roads had been cleared.
Paulc and bqd -I grew up south of Portland, lived in the Seattle area over 20 years. Seattle is worse than Portland/Vancouver area as the clouds get 'stuck' in the Puget Sound area, so there are days on end of gloom. Never thought I would love desert until 2008 when we worked the summer in Pahrump,NV. Then the winter of 2010 we played 'snowbirds' and loved it. Summers of 20011/12 I worked in Eastern Washington and of course last winter outside of Reno - all desert areas. Yes, at times I miss the greenery of the west side, but I definitely notice a change in hb's mood when we have an overcast or rainy day. I notice it in me too.
Marty hope all goes well on Tuesday. Glad a doctor you know well will be there too.
Lived all my life but the last 10 years in the valley by Vancouver. What a lot of changes in the last 10 years...really growing. I left because of the rain...I got so sick and tired of always being damp and cold. And yes you're right when it snows it is so damp and slick that you have an awful time driving. Not like up in the Cariboo...Cold dry powder snow easy to drive in and lots of sunny days all year round.
Forgot to add still getting the single finger salute and called some very interesting combinations of name by hubby after taking the keys to the vehicles away. It actually is getting funny in a warped AD spouse thinking way.
Amber, I can appreciate the humor in the single finger salute you are getting from your DH. He is trying to show you that he is still in control! My DH showed his own independence yesterday. I was having a group of ladies in for a Women's Institute meeting. My DD drove up from the city so that she could take her father out of the house while the ladies were here. I had told her to take him to town, take him out to lunch, and then do some shopping and window shopping. Well, they had barely left the driveway when apparently he told her that he wanted to go to "R", which is a much bigger town about 45 minutes away!, and "daddy's little girl" took him. He was letting us both know that whenever possible he is still calling the shots! :-)
they are putting my Dad on palliative care, after a long hard road of pain and suffering, many years, for both him and my Mom. I was just up in Canada last month, and Mom and I agreed I did not need to come if he passed. But that has changed, so soon, I will be going up for a brief week, the first week to be with her. There are other family members but she wants me for that time.
OkROSE if you read this....there was a bluebird at my Dad's hospital window, pecking and trying to get in. My Mom went over and tapped on the glass to try to get it to fly off. Well it did not, and it sat there for a long time just looking in. The bluebird of happiness maybe? Whatever it meant , if comforted my Mom.
It is reallllllyyyy hard to leave Dado again, and that is why this has to be such a quick trip.