I just ran into this. I was getting ready to move my wife to a dementia care facioity and after the 2 nurses came by to assess her, they said she was too anxious to admit her in her state and would probably be combative. She neede to go a place where they could modify her behavior (take showers and change clothes). She may have to stay there for up to 6 weeks to get "stabilized" I thought that's what she going to get at the care facility.. you ever hear of this, and if so, what did you do?
My husband was sent to a rehab facility before going to an ALF. The reasons were to "refine" his meds, getting him used to a wheelchair and also transitioning him from a liquid diet to what they called a "mechanical" diet.
He was there for three weeks, to the day, because this was what insurance covered. In fact, insurance would not have paid for him to stay in the hospital any longer. In tandem, the ALF (which was private pay) would not accept him until he had that time at rehab.
I really didn't (and don't) think that there was much choice involved.
I am sort of going thru the same thing in that my DH was sent from the NH to the geri-psych hospital for med adjustments. He became combative when NH aides tried to give him showers and change him. The first stay at the hospital was for 3 weeks, returned to NH for 5 days, and sent back to hospital (it has been a week today for this stay). When the hospital contacted the NH about his return, the NH said they were considering not taking him back. Now when he is released, he will be going to an ALF memory care unit.
I didn't have any choice in DH being sent away for med adjustments. The facilities have to consider the safety of their residents and staff.
Watchful7, I would advise you to work with your wife's doctor to prescribe meds that will calm her down and help her be more compliant with the ADL's. No ALF or NH is going to admit a new resident with anxiety/anger/agitation issues. The admission process is difficult enough for new residents. They will want her to have the best chance of a successful transition, and they are not equipped to handle out of control residents.
My insurance wouldn't approve an immediate Geri-psych admission, I had to first work with my husbands doctor via telephone consultation to find meds that would help regulate his behaviors. If that hadn't worked, we could then try a Geri-psych stay. Best of luck to you. This was one of the most difficult aspects of this disease for me to manage.
Anyone who cares for someone with Alzheimer's should be required by law to have the disease for a week....said no one ever. Until you walk a mile in their shoes you just don't know! If I had my life slipping away on a daily basis and lost basic skills I needed to function, I would be angry, anxious, and agitated, too! There needs to be a facility that just deals with it. Medication just compounded the frustration for my husband.
Watchful, yes many of us had (and still do) deal with placement issues due to agitation, aggression and combativeness. You need to speak to or see your wife's doctor and get some meds to help with the compliance with ADL's. Very few facilities want to deal with a difficult, non compliant resident due to safety issues for the person, other residents and staff. My husband had 2 geriatric psych hospital stays due to aggression (ALF wouldn't take him back) so I finally hired a ft in-home aide and he has been living at home. It does take time to get the right med combo to help with the agitation and our experience is that over time the meds need to be changed. Good luck, this is a very difficult situation...I felt helpless going through it 5 years ago.
A geripsych unit stay can be a success story--it was for my husband. He had 2 stays in 2011, and the second was for 5 weeks. During that time, he was put on a "cocktail" of different meds that calmed him down, but he was still alert. When released, I moved him directly to the ALF where he resides today. He has had no behavioral problems and is still on the identical meds over 2 years later.
So sorry you have to go through this nightmare at the beginning of placement. Although most of these ALF'S and NH'S are for profits and they market their facility as being capable of caring for Alz and dementia patients I do not not believe that is true. The ALF my DH was in said he needed to go for med adjustment because of protesting when being changed or given a bath. This is a common problem with dementia patients! Why could they not deal with it! I ask the DON what meds the geripsych doc could give that the geriatric specialist could not? She agreed to change meds and everything worked out fine without DH being sent out of facility. Unfortunately when we reach the heartwrenching decision to place we have to play the the medical field game. Hopefully it will work out for you to get her stabilized before placement. Some facilities require you pay out of pocket to hold the ALF bed while your loved one is in the hospital. Hang in there and I wish the best for you nad hope it all works out.