Trapped like a rat----- That has always been a saying but now living with this disease-I feel that sense of entrapment... Now as Paul Harvey would say"for the rest of the story" I caught a mouse in a trap this morning,not a bad thing usually but this time he was caught by only one little leg.So he was not dead---he was very much alive and looking at me with those big scared eyes.... Now any other time I would have just put it out of it's misery but not today-as we stared at each other I thought how much I was like that mouse---caught in a trap(alzheimers) with no way out. yes I am alive but like the mouse I feel trapped .There is no happy way out and no happy ending . So I sat there crying for me and the mouse!!! Now how crazy is that???? As you can tell I am just a little down this weekend,but this too shall pass (I hope). Oh as for the mouse-I put on leather gloves and gently lifted the trap from his leg. He did not try to bite--so I took him out to one of the out building that the cat can not get in and turned him loose-yes he was limping a little but he was free. If we could only get out of this disease trap with just a limp-wouldn't we all take it????
Bak I am sorry you are down. Your topic caught my eye. I to feel trapped. We use to say, my DH and the kids when we were driving that we were trapped like a rat, when we couldn't change lanes, stuck by a slow car. Usually on the higwy for vacation. It did bring back good memories. This "trapped" not good memories.
You were very good to the mouse. Not sure what I would have done. My DH would have handled that before. I have had to handle spiders, lizards and frogs since his DX but not a mouse.
Yes, being with an AD Spouse is it's own kind of suffering. Trapped. No way out. No end in sight. But you set this mouse free! In a safe, cat free place! Munching on grain and such? And you are making people smile with your story. You are trapped, as we all are, but good things creep into our lives making it a bit better. Great story. Thank you. Hope you are feeling better...
I am sorry bak. It is an awful feeling. There is no good way out of this disease. After it, we are damaged. I often wonder if we can ever fully recover.
On the up side....being an animal lover and being unable to kill anything other than 2 creepy bugs, I applaud your kindness and compassion.
Betty I loved your story. "Our" Gracie just stole some cheese from my plate and I though you would enjoy hearing that. Sometimes it takes so little to bring happiness into our lives. Here is my watch word from Leonard Cohen-ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. Everything has a crack in it. That is how the light gets in.
bak that's a good synopsis for our plight. trapped like a rat. mouse. :) I too enjoyed your story and glad you set it free. for some years now I find myself unable to take a life even a bugs. something changes us -within ourselves about the values on life itself. life and death become opponents while we are caregivers. it helps to be able to offer life even if its a tiny critter. control over something which we have none of with our spouses. so yes, affording a tiny mouse life is a good thing. if its possible its one of the few things positive about living with this disease. I hope your day gets better. our emotions tend to run amuk at times but hold steady. divvi
Someone once said (I can't remember who) "I would never have on my list of friends, anyone who without reason, would snuff out the life of one of the least of Gods creatures." Now Betty, In spite of all the caregiving misery you are suffering, don't you think that what you did for that little mouse, brought a little happiness into your life?.......GeorgieBoy
GeorgieBoy-right at the time I thought it was the right thing to do--- then I found the mess "he" had made chewing a hole in the large bag of cat food and letting it spill out into the pantry....am hoping the little guy does not 'limp' his way back in!!
bak, such a moving story. Though he made a mess, I am still glad you saved the little critter. Lynn tried to rescue every critter he encountered. We had emergency tanks and crates set up and stocked at all times. It broke my heart when we would lose one of them and I asked Lynn how can you keep setting your heart up to break like this!? He always replied, they are helpless and need some compassion and tender care. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do everything I could for them"
And I guess, that is how I now feel about Lynn.............. he was an amazing mentor and teacher ♥
In reference to your limp comment, I have often said, "I am no longer crippled by the immense grief of it all, but I do still have a limp."