Jackie, not sure what you've done legally at this stage so I will just recap some topics you should discuss if you haven't already. Then I will add other topics once you have the basics covered. The general reason to consult an elder law attorney is to find legal ways to protect your assets should you have to put him in long term care (usually a NH) and have him qualify for Medicaid.
The very basics are: How do you protect your assets so you can live and still have him qualify for Medicaid.
Durable Power of Attorney for financial AND Healthcare decisions (this may be a problem if your spouse is no longer competent to sign). One key component in the DPOA I have is that I am able to waive any spousal benefits on pensions that require HIS signature. (for example, most defined benefit pension plans require the spouses signature to waive benefits to which they would be entitled after the pension holder dies and they are beneficiaries. This is important because if your spouse receives a spousal pension benefit from your permission after you die it could disqualify him from Medicaid).
A will where you leave all of your assets to someone other than your spouse should you die first which could also disqualify him for Medicaid. Your attorney should advise you how to set up trusts for his care and trusts so you can get money even though he is on or qualifies for Medicaid.
A living will so you can carry out his wishes for treatment, particularly end of life care (DNR, DNI, etc). He will need to sign this and again, maybe it's too late now.
Transfer of your home to your name only.
What legal vehicles are available so you can protect assets from Medicaid and Medicaid recovery should he go on Medicaid.
Investments (IRA's, 401ks, Pensions, stocks, bonds, mutual funds, even some savings accounts). Most financial institutions will NOT accept just a DPOA. They require that their forms be completed and be signed by both parties allowing you access to any accounts he may have soley in his name. Do what you have to do to get these forms signed so you have access and can distribute money for his care.
Those are just some of the important issues to cover. I'll look for previous discussions and will bring them to the top.
You should have copies of all tax returns for the past 3-5 years, lists of financial statements and investments and income, an accounting of all bills paid and a list of all medical bills and dementia related supplies/services for which you pay because they are probably deductible under medical expenses if they exceed the current legal amount.
Thanks. I do have POA and healthcare directives. My daughter is mine and backup to her dad. We do have wills. I have a LTC policy on my DH. But it has a life time limit. So it would last about 5 1/2 years. It pays very well for NH or in home care. But we know they can live a long time. I am 9 years you get than be is. I stayed home with the kids most of the time so I am depending on his 401k and pension when I reach retirement. It will be a good amount. But if Medicaid takes over at some point I know I will not have that. That's why I want to move stuff now. The 5 year period. He is at home now, but I don't know for how long. I also have step children to worry about. Thanks for your help