I invite you to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read today's blog. Forgetting affects every aspect of our lives and the lives or our spouses.
the world news is so sad and full of unhappy things these days, is it no wonder we were all glued to hearing of the new royal babys birth? something joyous to celebrate. and bring everyone together no matter what nationality or languages spoke. those occasions are far and few in between lately. and yes babies are the essence of innocence. somehow it also reminds me of the tiny birds who are in a pot outside my door, blind and helpless that depend on the mother bird to bring them food and shelter them. my DH opens his mouth when I come near just like those little defenseless birds. like our AD spouses in some ways. totally dependent on us near the end of this journey. just like the new baby will be dependent on the guidance and love of his parents. its a good reflection on why they stare into space as you say, no memories, no past no future.
I too find the royal birth happy and exciting. Little baby George.
My heart breaks for Sid on reading your blog Joan, as lately my heart is breaking so for Dado. He just looks so sad all the time. And Divvi, oh, the little bird analogy, with your DH opening his mouth, oh how ....I don't know what to say....except for deeply sad. Dado now does the squirrely thing in his cheeks when we feed him, leaving food in there, and it makes me wonder what is next.
I know how you feel. I have gone through the same experiences with my DW. A few weeks back she was admiring a ring I bought her for our 10th wedding anniversary. We made a big deal about it because at year 7, she made it pretty clear what she wanted, so when it came time to give her the gift, I had an elaborate hoax to throw her off track. Anyway I asked her "That is a nice ring. Where id you get it?" She said "yes it is nice, but I don't know where it came from" A week or two later, she said " I know we are married, but I don't remember how" Even though I expected this disease to progress, it still did not ease the sting from those realizations that her long-term memory is fading. I wished you didn't have to go through this too, Love and Hugs
Joan, good to hear when these losses appear you are not getting knocked on your back side. Sad we become more 'comfortable' (for lack of better word) with the losses, but better for us that it is not such a shock.
Little Prince George and his lovely and wonderful mama and papa was a shot of joy we all need. Like Joan..DH doesn't recall a lot of things and at first it was a blow to the solar plexus. Now, maybe thanks to Sertraline, I don't react so strongly now to each sad change.
During the "before" years dreams were important to my husband. He kept a dream journal, not always, but from time to time. Especially in the later years he would say something that was not true, not something he could have known. I often wondered if he was still dreaming. It was not possible to discuss it with him but I fervently hoped he still had a dreaming life. I hope your Sid has one too.
Joan I feel the loss of sharing our memories . But sometimes, I also just do not feel..kind of numb. Our anniversary is coming. I mentioned it casually to my DH. He tried to guess the month(clearly he had no idea ). Thank goodness he isn't upset that he forgets and I make light of it. Thought it must be around 25 yrs, "right" he said. "Yup" I replied. Actually, it's 13 but we always talked about making it to 25. My first marriage ended at 23 yrs. His wife passed after 27 yrs of marriage. I always could tease him about getting us mixed up. But today he thinks we are married 25 yrs and says we are married longer than his first marriage. So, the long term memory is going now, too. Not a good sign.
And, yes it does feel like I have a child to take care of because he is dependent on me. However, what's MISSING IS THE JOY that parenthood brings as we watch our little one grow in mind and spirit. Instead, we must watch and feel the losses each day will bring.
Our 47th anniversary was this month. When I whispered in his good ear (!) ,wishing him a happy 47th, he chuckled a little, gave me a little hug & that was pretty much it. As someone said earlier, I'm kind of numb to it, it just seems to roll off of me like water off a duck's back. Unless, of course, I'm having a bad day! I guess sometimes I feel very uncaring & cold, which was just not me. Other times I feel so sad for him.
Ann, I agree with you. Every babe should be so wanted and fussed over and cared about by the community. For all the lip service of "all men are created equal" - I think this birth speaks volumes.
I agree that every baby born deserves to be fussed over and cared about. But we are talking about a British royal birth, a future king and ruler of the British Commonwealth. Britain, as long as it maintains the monarchy, will always be a society of different social classes, not one where "all men are created equal". I do not mean this as a political comment, only one of historical fact. To my DH, who is a monarchist, this was a time of great joy - he was willing to sit for hours in front of the television waiting for the doors of the hospital to open for the great reveal. And it brought to mind for him a time, when he was a boy, of standing and waiting for a view of Princess Elizabeth, when she visited his home town here in Canada, and of her coronation when her father King George died. So I left the television tuned to the hospital door, because it made him happy. And it was nice to see him happy for a change. My reaction to the royal birth was one of ambivalence at best, and a wish that the tabloids will leave Kate and William alone so they do not suffer the same fate as Charles and Diana.
bqd, I believe you are from Canada, and I concede that the monarchy is an important part of the social and political fabric of Britain. You are so correct about its historical significance, and how nice it was that your DH could experience this momentous event with joy and anticipation. I spoke as an American, where our royalty are football players and rappers. Now that I think about it, I think I like your young couple better!
thanks marche, and yes I am from Canada. I had thought about commenting on the significance of celebrities in North American society (the new royalty) in my post, but decided against it for fear of offending, so I am glad you did it for me :-)
Celebrities in the US seem to be more about how bad they can be. There are very few of those you are always hearing about that are worth hearing about.
So this little guy is exciting. Hope he grows up to be for the people like his parents, not rip off the people.