Hi all Well this morning DH woke up and informed me that he has no reason to get out of bed anymore. I smoothed that over and finally got him up. He dressed and the started to cry because his old friend who was also his ADP driver was bing buried today. DH was asked if he wanted to go but said no. And spent the hour in the chapel. Before that as he was crying he got up and passed around and around the kitchen, living room and dining room tell ing me that he has no purpose in life anymore. This went on for about twenty minutes. His ride came and he left looking like a lot puppy. I called his geriatric nurse as another care giver said this is to be reported as it could mean that he is suicidal. The nurse is coming to see him tomorrow at four. I also contracted the caseworker that is getting his into LTC home and asked if there is anyway they can move him up quicker. He was doing so well after he came home from respite and had decide to go there to live, but it is taking some time to get his bed and this is not doing him any good as he is impatient and anxious to go. There is so much for him to do there and he doesn't feel like he is under guard all the time, even though he is, he doesn't realize it. The ADP is set up for the Alzheimer's that are more advanced and so it is not very situating for him and not much socializing. I was really frightened. He slept for an hour at ADP and then cam e home and slept for another hour and some. Our kids have been calling him tonight and will be trying to call each one at a different night. He looks so sad and lost that it breaks your heart. I hope tomorrow is better. Jazzy
Jazzy - it does not surprise me that they would have times of awareness that there actually is really nothing for them to look forward to, so why get up? I think it would depend on the type of personality they were before whether they dwell on those thoughts or just let them pass by.
Praying he gets in sooner rather than later - in the meantime wisdom to handle this situation.
Today I had a similar experience . Early his a.m. spouse had PT appointment and was, according to his therapist, "having one of his better days!" However, as I was driving home I looked over to the passenger seat where he was seated and I observed a flat expressionless face. I ask him, "What are you thinking about?" His reply, "Why am I alive? ...I have no purpose."
Husband is now on the strongest dose anti-depression medicine (Zofolt 100 mg 2 x daily). I do fear for his safety. Several times in the past he has asked, "shoot me." I am concerned that he may try to harm himself. Tomorrow he has an apt. with his PCP. Possibly at UTI? ...don't know
Also, my husband sleeps more. I wake him at 6:00 a.m. for breakfast...at 7:30 a.m. he returns to bed and sleeps until 11:00 a.m. He takes no naps, and then turns in around 9:00 p.m. I have attributed more sleeping to the disease along with depression and boredom.
I concur with Charlotte "they have times of awareness that there actually is nothing for them to look forward to, so why get up?" However, in addition to a psychological problem, there a maybe a physical illness.... a UTI.
Jazzy I do hope that this will pass soon. If it continues please consult with his physician asap.
These things already described happened to my husband too. He kept journals and as I have found them over the last year I have read them (YES I have)- another poster said, not to me but in general that this is wrong but yes, I have read them. He wrote about giving up, and that there was nothing left.
As he progressed to sleeping more and more I did nothing to interfere. I would sometimes, okay, often look at his face and it did not seem to be deep and restful sleep. He would make a lot of expressions and for lack of being able to better explain it, it seemed like he was in a twilight. No change in meds to explain it. Sometimes when awake he made statements that were so far out of his experience or knowledge that I thought they must be a product of his dreams.
So, I just wished him well in his dreaming life, feeling that he was gradually transitioning.
Thanks so much all of you. Your comments really helped. I was not sure if this was just him but it must be part of the disease. As I said his nurse is coming today and he likes her and will listen to her. I sent out an email to your three of our kids who have not been calling as much as they could and last night DH received three fun calls he was overjoyed and they had his laughing at what they were telling him. The only problem was that one of them went to a movie and called about twenty minutes after dH had taken his Meds and he was getting groggy and didn't want to talk. I had asked him to call just after dinner but I guess his wife said call later so he did. Now I hope he gets the picture. I really do know what I am talking about. dH told me that he has so much taken away from him that he now has nothing to do. No project and no responsibility. I asked him to explain what he meant by not having a purpose in life anymore so he told me he needed some thing to do that were just his. I promptly told him I can fix that problem, from now on you are responsible to do all the dishes. I will not touch them anymore. Dishes are one of the things he can still do well so he feels good about doing them. He thought that was a good idea and told the kids what I had done and they all had a good laugh. So no more dishes for Jazzy. I hope this workers and that they can move him up on the LTC list. He need so much more structure and activities and socializing then I can get for him here and I think that will help. It sure scared me when he talked like that.
Abby--I see nothing wrong with reading your husband's journals. If Steve had left something like that behind (he didn't), I would have read them in a heartbeat, hoping they would give me insight into what he was experiencing. I am sure you read them out of love.
Abby, I agree with Marilyn...I see nothing wrong with reading your husband's journals. I too would hope they would provide insight into what he was experiencing. It would be the only way to begin to understand what was happening from his point of view. Hope you are well.
I also agree with Mariilyn and LFL....I see absolutely see noting wrong with reading your husband's journal. It's is legacy...his thoughts and a piece of "him" which you have and can cling to. I believe that if there was anything he wished you not to read your DW would have destroyed his journal sometime (before he progressed in his disease)