We went to dinner and while nothing was different with the way Paul was doing-I got so upset I had to leave the room---now to explain- there was a couple about our age sitting just behind us,they were talking about an upcoming trip and how they were looking forward to spending ALONE time in a nice hotel with a hot tub etc. then they laughed and were smiling at each other like WE used to do. I though I had reconciled myself to the fact that- that part of PAUL and ME was gone !!!!! Just goes to show we never forget the real love of our lives and how hard it is to give them up -only to live with someone that looks and talks like them. Sorry just feeling really low this evening and needed to share with someone that understands.
Oh Betty! I think that is one of the most difficult things I have to go through. Seeing other couples our age talking, laughing, sharing their secrets. Even just seeing them shopping together in the grocery store. Sometimes it's just so painful! I went to a talent show my granddaughter was in at her elementary school. As I was sitting there looking around I saw other “grandparent couples” sitting there. I had to swallow the lump in my throat & will myself not to cry because I didn't want to upset my daughter & grandson. But believe me, after the show, as I was walking to my van the tears started before I got there. (((HUGS))) to you Dear Friend! Hope to see you sometime this fall.
Elaine I know this must be tougher on you-at least I still have Paul with me. But somedays it is just SOOOOO hard to keep these BIG girl panties pulled up!!!!!!!!!!I just want to pull them over my head and not come out. Hugs back at you!!!
I know exactly how heartbreaking that feels. I have found it hard to be with our couple friends for that very reason. It tears me apart to be faced with the reality of what we no longer have..went on vacation with our dearest friends and as I heard them discussing things at night , I cried myself to sleep over my loss.
Lorrie-As we have said many times here ___I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! We no longer go out with couples (only family) just too hard to sit there and remember that we had THAT special closeness too. I never thought it would be a disease steel my husband right before my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!
Betty, you will probably never be beyond those feelings of great loss. I felt them while I cared for my husband, and I still feel them now that he is gone. I see other couples and envy them. I try to tell myself that they have their own problems, but it doesn't help. For me, I tried very hard to enjoy the little things with him while he was still here, but the sadness and pain for being cheated out of our retirement together never left me. I wish you some small rays of sunshine to help you through your cloudy days.
Moon, I am so glad that you said that telling yourself that they have their own problems doesn't help because I have been told by others(people that don't have our situation to contend with) that I should "count my blessings and get over it" The next person that tells me that I am going to put them on the slap fest!!!
Betty you have been on my heart and mind lately, and I am sorry you are sad...and knowing too you will be ok. I know you...we have talked....and I love you so.
When I was driving home from the airport yesterday after being gone two weeks, I had a similar thing, though, Dado was not with me. I had an overwhelming sense of missing being hugged, being listened to, and cared for , by him of course, but just generally by the man in my life. I sobbed and sobbed without being really sad, if you know what I mean. Funny it hit me on the way home from my trip.
Please tell hello to Paul, and please accept warm caring loving wishes sent to you on the breeze.
...yes Charlotte, but he still tries to tell me how to drive when I take him out...even though it's "Go,go" when stopped at a red light! Yes I miss the closeness and intimacy that we shared..