I am at a crisis point now. My DH is going through serious moods and anger. He had an incident taking he car keys and trying to drive that I think made him realize he can't ever drive. Besides this, he is isolating , sulking , nasty and even elbows me when I come near him.
It has been a very rough three yrs. (2 before diagnosis). The past year has totally worn me out mentally and physically. I try every way to please him and nothing helps. He is on Zoloft n starting seroqeel
Hey Lorrie for whatever it is worth it sounds like u may be in physical danger. I am not in your situation but if I were I would call and make an appointment with your doctor to get his meds adjusted. Where i live we have a geriatric psych department in the hospital where they can go to get the medication adjusted. Just remember you are not alone.
My heart aches for you. This disease is the very worst nightmare.....so little support out their for us ... family and friends drop out of sight, it depletes our savings, and most of us stand alone with little emotional support or understanding as we become cut off from the world we once knew.
My husband has been and continues to a handful at times also. He is exactly is you descripted above. I have noticed that once the doctor started him on Seroquel he became more manageable. Hopefully, the Seroquel will kick in. I would suggest that after a week on the medicine you don't see improvement contact his doctor. Zofolt does help with depression, but it even when mine spouse was on the Zoloft he was very nasty and hateful. He takes 200 mg.--the highest dosage.
Driving....you must hide the keys where he can not get them. He needs to know that he can no longer operate a motor vehicle and that if he does you will report this to the police. Be sure you have the all the information available on the auto. I would also pay a visit to your local police station and talk with the officer on duty about your husband's medical condition. They need to be made aware that you have a husband who has a Alzheimer/ftd. If you have to call them for protection this will be documented. Also, get the name, badge number of the officer you spoke with and have him document your husband's medical information in their computer. In the event you do have to call the police they may transport him to a mental facility rather than the jail.
I know the information I have provided will not change his situation. Please be guard for your safety....carry your cellphone with you at all times (I sleep with mine) I also have pepper spray in my nightstand. I sleep with my door locked at all times including when I take a shower.
Yes, this is a very mentally and physically demanding job especially when they have FTD. I do hope that the medicine adjustment will help you deal with this crisis.
Also, there is a 24 hour alzheimers help line toll free to call. I have used it and found it, in addition to this site. very supportive.
You have my thoughts and prayers. Please try to hang in there and hopefully tomorrow will be easier.
Thank you lulliebird and CO2 for your responses. I m fortunate that our children are visiting now and are supportive. We are going to call Dr. Monday and ask for more meds. He is currently on 50 mg. Zoloft and started seraquel at half of a 25 mg to check for any side effects. That dosage of Zoloft was started about a year ago and helped anxiety and depression then. Clearly, it s not enough now. Dealing with his mood swings ,actually mostly bad moods now, and his anger issues are right now the most difficult part of this disease. I cannot let myself go down with him. I can't change the course of his disease but I need to figure ways to preserve a. Life of value for myself!
Lorrie,when my DH was at this stage and started Seroquel, the Dr. had me raise the dose as I thought was necessary,that was a lifesaver. For a short time I slept fully dressed,everything in my bag, ready to run if necessary. It only lasted a short time as the Seroquel worked quite well.Also had to up the Zoloft.I can't imagine that half a 25mg. of seroquel would have much effect.I had 25mg and 50 mg on hand in bottles of 100. He is now off both and doing well, They tell me he gets a little diffficult when they try to get him uup in the AM,due to back pain.His pain meds were also pulled because of bad side effects,so they understand to be patient with him.every one of us has to find the best way to stay safe and protect ourselves.
Lorrie, how very heartbreaking. I am glad to know your family is supportive. That is nice! But do let them know what you really need are some breaks. Without breaks we will go down with the ship. The aggression and rages were the most difficult part of the disease for me to handle. I truly hope the Seroquel works. ((hugs))
'pharmaceuticals become our best friends.' staying on top of medication adjustment is about one of the most important things we can do as a caregivers. none of us I mean none can do this alone without a lot of help via medication. and its a continually changing demographics on which how much and if a change is needed. ask any of us who have been at this longer than we need to admit how many times we changed meds or doses. its the only constant about alzheimers in my opinion is that changes in meds will be required during the journey. there is no need to subject ourselves to violence or aggression while caring for our spouses. it just takes the right combo and a dr who is proficient enough to know which ones to try for which variant of the disease. and of course subjecting them to a geri psyche stay for med control may be the only way to accomplish getting them compliant and under control. we cant do it ourselves. stay safe and find the right meds and your life will be much easier. divvi
PLEASE, NO PEPPER SPRAY!!!! Can you imagine the effect of pepper spray in the face of someone with Alzheimer's disease. oh, my......................................
My husband had FTD as well. Mostly he was angry and aggressive. The only time he physically hurt me was late in the disease course. He fell frequently and lashed out at me, I think in fear and frustration, when I tried to pick him up.
However, he did threaten me often. My general MO was to try to deal with his issues in as non confrontational ways as possible. With the car, I disabled his car. If he was agitated and wanted to go somewhere immediately I would ask if I could go with him and then divert: "lets be sure to take our vitamins before we go". His "vitamins" were Ativan, Keppra and supplemental Benadryl.
Also toward the end he would focus on death and this would include reporting to me that people we knew had died. I knew they had not died but asked him about it and tried to act like he was giving me important information. Likewise when it was snowing in August, etc.
Like Lulliebird I slept with my cell under my pillow, my handbag under the bed, sometimes in my clothes, doors always locked. He made so much noise when leaving his room that I never worried he would get out of the house while I so-called slept. I never thought about pepper spray; he maintained significant strength and was ambulatory while home. I think I would have feared that he would use it on me, or possibly the animals.
I have documented this for years, when DH was first dx'd with "pre-senile dementia" and the neurologist knew (because I told him repeatedly) that DH was physically abusing me, he told me to buy pepper spray and spray him if he started to become aggressive or physically violent. He then told DH that if he became physically abusive, I was gong to spray him with pepper spray. This is an exact quote "If you can't control yourself, your wife will spray you with pepper spray. It will sting your eyes and hurt for a while but won't cause any permanent damage." I recently found out that the hospital he was affiliated with suddenly fired him. Five years later...I wonder how many other people he gave the advice to.
When I said I have pepper spray at my nightstand I would not use it unless I seriously felt that my life was in danger. I have had it in my possession for over 8 months. I have never had to use nor would I unless I felt my safety was in danger.
I will use what is necessary to keep myself safe (no guns or knives)... he is not aware that I have it and I would never use it as a means of controlling him. We need to be alert, prepared, and try to defuse the situation if it escalates. We can't predict their mental state.