The month is starting out a mixed bag for me. Saddened to hear this morning, that one of my sister's kids' childhood friends was one of the elite firefighters killed i n the AZ fire. My prayers are with the families. As for me, tomorrow I get 8 teeth pulled for a denture. The 8th is my first anniversary alone since DH passed. My unfixable knee is under control with the new KAFOs (braces). I'm beginning preparations for my first ever visit to CA to see my Daughter and Son-in-law. That's at the end of the month, for a week. That should cover my checking in for a while.
Oh! And of course. everyone have a wonderful Fourth!
Things peaceful here. I am appreciating the attentions of Hospice. Went in at lunchtime today and the Hospice caregiver had cleaned Jeff up and was doing lunch. It makes me happy to know that if I am having a busy day, he is still getting plenty of attention. Otherwise, nothing new! Vacation week starts at the end of this month...and I think ALL 4 kids are going to make it to the beach!
I leave this Friday for a 2 week trip to Vancouver Canada area, staying with my Mom and Dad in White Rock, then taking a 4 day trip to Vancouver island to visit a girlfriend.
Yes Coco, I've marked it on my calendar...my email is acting up so will post as we get closer to the 18th and let you know whether I'll be down. I used to live and work very close to White Rock 24th Ave and 164 St. I know the area well. Love the walk ways and all the small shops and restaurants (Whitbeys sp? book store I wonder if it's still there) and Crescent beach, really nice walk from Blackies spit all along the beach used to do that almost everyday.
Beautiful sunny hot day here....hot weather coming up from the states. Lots of boaters on the lake. Summer is here!
Oh wait, no, its Labor Day, isn't it? No, its Civic Holiday Monday (1st Monday in August). That's right, its Civic Holiday! Oh dear, DH knew it was a Monday, and it was a holiday Monday, but had absolutely no idea of which one! Sigh!!!
On my way out the door. Have a lovely girlfriend watching my house and cats and plants for the two weeks I am gone. I will goof around in Kona with some friends this afternoon, and they will take me to the airport for the olde red eye flight to Vancouver.
See you soon Mary75* and hopefully Amber too. I am not sure if I will have computer access, but I will drop by when I do.
Aloha for now, you will all be on my heart as always.
Sunshine FINALLY! Constant rain - hard as can be rain - for three days and nights. We live on a hill so no flooding here but creeks and rivers roaring along. Feast or famine - it will now probably be hot and forget how to rain. Folks 4th plans completely washed out - most fireworks postponed until Labor Day.
At last a break after almost a week of temperatures in the 90's during the day and 70's + at night. Maine is not supposed to get this hot for so long. I know it's nothing compared to the southwest, but we are not equipped for such a long spell of heat.
For all you still in the trenches wondering if there will be any life left after the stress of caring for your spouse with dementia: Just got the cover of my new book from the publisher, which is due out in Oct. The cover is the best one of my 11 books, and I am so pleased. They made a composite of two white Arabian horses and a young girl lying on a field, (dreaming of horses). The words don't come as easily at 83, and I can't sit as long at my desk, but it makes life worth getting out of bed for.
Lorrie and lulliebird, thanks for your congratulations. This book, adult fiction, has just gone to the printers. It is not yet available in the book stores or Amazon. I had Wolf's email address from when he was kind enough to put my photo on this site, and I wanted to give him a sneak preview. If you like, I will post the other info. re. book when it's actually available.
I spent last weekend in Haliburton, a lake filled cottage region about 4 hours from here.
That was the cottage where Dianne first showed something was wrong when she picked up a tray of appetizers that had been brought down not ten minutes earlier, full of all the food everyone wanted to snack on, and started taking it back up to the cottage (we were all on the dock). That was in 2006.
I took the woman with me who lost her husband to cancer three months ago. It was a reunion with the same five 'couples' who were there in 2006. The cottage owner was there with his newish partner.
And from the moment we arrived and were assigned bedrooms to the moment we drove away again on Sunday afternoon, it was non stop talking, chatter, and fun. We all helped with the chores, we talked together about what had all happened in the last seven years, we talked about Dianne and how hard it is to face Alzheimer's. We talked about everything and when I came home and had a few days, I realized it was all part of the healing and acceptance we all want whatever our roads in life have laid before us.
The reason I know I realized that is because I don't have outsized feelings anymore about what my friends did and didn't do. I told them to their face it sucks that society thinks you don't ask about the Alzheimer's spouse ever while simultaneously not being able to do enough for the cancer victims. But I can also see it really is like this in north america at least with the lucky exception of a few. And frankly, I don't care that much anymore about what Dianne, or I, or family, or friends did and didn't specifically do in this disease.
Instead I noticed the camera I had just bought which is the first thing I've bought for myself since we were diagnosed, works quite well. And that (as always) the minute I open up to something, things start happening. Like the Great Blue Heron that strolled by and who is now my guest picture.
Wolf, it is indeed a very beautiful picture. We have resident herons here on our lake, and I always look forward to their visits to our dock, where they stand quietly watching for their dinner. I'm glad you were able to have that weekend in Haliburton, and truly enjoy yourself. It sounds like it helped a lot in your struggles to move on. Good for you!
Wolf, I am glad you were able to get together with friends and have such a great time together. Maybe just by telling them how you felt it helped release some of the bitterness. Or perhaps it is just part of your healing to let it go. At any rate, it is wonderful to hear and I am truly glad you are feeling better. I read your other comment as well and it sounds like it was another turning point, another stepping stone back to you. ((hugs))
Hi everyone I finally have a moment on a computer! Mary75* I am in Chemainus on Vancouver Island until Monday, and then I go back to Surrey to my parents on Monday. Spent the first 5 days helping my Mom and Dad, then took this break to be with my girlfriend. She is the one who came to Hawaii late last year and was so supportive, one of a very few.
\We will be having a get together Tuesday to remember the 2nd year since my sister Dianna passed. I go home Friday the 19th, and will call you this week Mary perhaps Wednesday, to confirm our lunch on Thursday. Hey Amber not sure what is up with you, hope the transition is not overly tough.
It is good I came here, though I really miss Dado and called him twice, and he cried. Ugh, I dont' think I can leave him again for awhile. I get it now Nikki, I love him for who he is NOW, like you love your Lynn. More later, \I love you all, miss you, and please keep my in your thoughts and prayers for a safe and sure trip back to my home.
Coco! So good to have word from you ♥ I am glad you are enjoying your vacation and time with family and friends. It's good for your soul. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts on Tuesday. I am sure you are missing Dado, just know he is safe and try to enjoy yourself (says the girl who wont go away for even a weekend lol) You are already there, so it would be a shame not to enjoy this much needed break. Yes, a safe trip home for our dear ((Coco))
he needs me so bad Nikki. I cannot feel too guilty that is dumb, and my Mom really needed me. But I will not leave him again, and as he cried on the phone, I knew, that he is aware of who I am at all times, and it reinforces my convictions. No one will be able to tell me again, that why do I visit him so much, he does not know much....I think, I may hit them. (maybe not...)
awwwwww Coco, he WILL be ok, just hold him extra tight when you get home ♥
We all come to our own truths in this war, one that I have come to believe is that our loved ones hold on to the ones that hold on to them. By that I mean some people are easy to forget because they do not spend time with them. I do understand that there are of course some pour souls who cannot show recognition, but I do not believe that means they are not aware of our presence. I strongly believe that even in end stage our spouses know who we are, how else can one explain the significant number reported of 'moments of clarity'.
I don't believe they 'forget' us, I think it is more that they are held in the chains of Alzheimer's, some connection are broken so they are no longer able to communicate with us. I believe they do still know us and love us, but they are just trapped.
Recently a covering doctor, who also does a lot of work for hospice, told me that they can tell just by looking around the room who has daily visitors and who doesn't. Wow, that struck me....it is a profound statement to how much our loved ones do still need us.
Don't listen to people who simply can't understand. Now when someone says something of that nature to me, I take it as an opportunity to express my convictions. But that first year.. yeah my instinct was to inflict bodily harm. oops, there goes my halo lol.
We are in the middle of a heat wave, with lots of humidity. Thunderstorms are brewing all around us. We had a bit of a shower earlier, but it only cleared the air for a few minutes, then the sun was back again. DH doesn't seem to be able to handle this weather the way he used to - doesn't want to go swimming as much (although he did get in the water earlier today) and the heat seems to make his head foggier than ever. My DS and BIL were supposed to come out today to swim and have a barbeque. They postponed until tomorrow - the change in plans is hard on hubby, (and me as well) so we have decided to go out to the "local" for our supper tonight, and then come home and watch a movie on TCM.
Just catching up here. A I opened this thread, here's where I a now.. Teeth are out--wish bone chips were-lol. Have the denture, eventually will be able to wear it. haha.
Boarding passes are printed, bag packed, fly out tomorrow morning early. It'll be good to see my Daughter and Son-in-law. A year's a long time. She has lots of plans for me. I'll be returning the 30th, fairly late. Wishing good weather and good days to everyone here.
Friday brought a major storm to our area. We finally got our electricity back last night, after 77 hours. Internet came back at noon today. The whole experience was exhausting. I had difficulty sleeping. And DH has no executive reasoning, so he found it difficult to understand why he couldn't do anything that required electricity. And it was difficult to keep him entertained - no TV, no radio, and not much in the way of light after 9 pm. He can't entertain himself with reading (as I did) because he can't remember a sentence after he has read it. And he doesn't like games, although we did spend a half an hour playing crokinole. And I am still tired - the extra work involved in running a household when you have to carry pails of water up 2 flights of steps, cooking challenges like making coffee (and everything else) on the gas grill, the added stress of feeling even more isolated, and not knowing when life was going to return to normal, while still trying to maintain a calm environment for my DH, keep appointments and carry on as if nothing was wrong. And of course the extra work of cleaning out fridge and freezer, after the electricity finally came back on. But I have many things to be thankful for. This time we had no damage (unlike 2 years ago when we lost 7 trees - some a 100 years old). And I am thankful that we live on a lake, so that we had a source of water for doing dishes and flushing the toilet (we are on a well), and for water for sponge baths and washing my hair. I am also thankful for a neighbor who shared his generator with us so that I didn't lose everything in the freezer - I've been cooking up a storm today with the meats that did thaw out, so that they can be refrozen for future use. I am glad that we are back to some semblance of normal! And I am glad to be able to log on to this board again :-). And I am really looking forward to my respite hours tomorrow afternoon - even though I will be spending them doing the groceries and going to a doctor's appointment!
Today is a sad day for me, no particular reason except I miss Dado so. It is so strange...sometimes I think he may get well and come home.. Though my health is good and things are ok...I just can't seem to get out of bed in the morning, and despite the nice weather and beautiful outdoors, I spend way too much time watching movies, and crying.
I know this means I need to DO something, and I will. Going out now to have a little drive.
I so miss companionship, and despite saying it is not for me, sometimes when it all seems so hopeless I think of having someone around. But it passes.
I'm sorry Coco. I to have been having trouble doing things here. I think we are both at about the same place with our DH. Tonight while helping him take a shower, I had to soap him up for the first time. Up till today he could do that himself. We are depressed!!! Who wouldn't be. It is appropriate. Our lives a sad right now. I know it takes me till 2 or 3 in the afternoon to fully feel like I can do anything. The mornings I just drag. Believe me if I could stay in bed all day and watch movies I would!!! Do try to get out of the house at least for a half an hour and just sit in the sun. Cry if needed. Do you ever look at videos online. I love to look at funny dog, cat and baby videos. It warms my heart. Well I am just rambling, sorry about that. Just know that you (and everyone here) are in my prayers.
Oh Coco, I know how you feel! I actually had a burst of energy last month, but then my cousin died & after I got back from her funeral I had no ambition at all.
Monday is Tom's birthday & all 9 grandchildren are here. So I baked some cupcakes & in about an hour we are going to converge on the Veterans Home & sing Happy Birthday to PopPop. (grandchildren are ages 2 – 13). I am kinda excited about this because it might be one of the last times I am able to get a picture of him & all the grandchildren. They are looking forward to seeing him too & they all know his condition, but they love him anyway.
Then this evening the Veterans Home is having a “Senior Prom”! So I am getting all dressed up & taking some dress clothes for Tom. They are having a nice dinner in the dining room & then music & dancing after dinner. When I asked one of the aids if she thought I should take him (because he is so unaware of his surroundings) she told me that I should, because it will be a memory for me (she is a wise woman!) (I guess I'll have to dance with him while pushing his wheelchair around!) My son is going to come by & take some “Senior Prom pictures”! So if you are my friend on facebook be sure to look for them! I'll post back here & tell you how it went.
Oh Elaine, how wonderful. Have a great time! Your post brought tears to my eyes. We can all think about you spinning Tom around in his wheelchair and have a big smile. ENJOY!
Elaine, that is wonderful...have a great time, it will be a lovely memory for you to hold dear to your heart. I love the thought of a " Senior Prom"....enjoy every moment!